Eliza's story
by aims80
Summary: Remember the young girl Cal used to get into a lifeboat? Well this story continues her life after Cal rescues her. Will things work out for her or not? Please R&R!
1. 1

Authors Note: This story takes up from the end of the last one, and will be written from the point of view of the young girl whom Cal pretends is his daughter in order to get onto the boat and off the sinking ship. You remember the bit; "Please. I'm all she has in this world." Whilst I am prepared to admit that it is not very likely that someone of Cal's upbringing would bring up a third class child, you will see that there is a reason for this, and I figured that as a story, well it doesn't have to be one hundred percent accurate. That's the beauty of a story isn't it?  
  
  
  
New York, April 16, 1912.  
  
"Thank you for coming Mr. Hockley...as you are no doubt aware this could be a very serious matter.." The tall, distinguished looking man said, standing up and holding out his hand.  
  
Cal didn't take it. "I don't know that I would agree with you on that." He said coldly. "In fact I think that this whole exercise is a waste of time. I was planning on getting back to Philadelphia as soon as possible. You'd be aware, no doubt, that my fiancée died on the Titanic."  
  
"Yes, I read about it in the papers, and of course I am sorry for your loss. That is one of the reasons I wished to get this over and done with as soon as I could possibly arrange."  
  
"Indeed." Cal said, sitting down and arranging himself, trying to seem like he was in control of the situation, when in reality he was actually a little concerned. What was his father going to say? For that matter what would society say?  
  
The man also seated himself behind his desk. "Now, as you're aware this is about Eliza- is that a Swedish name?"  
  
"I have no idea." Cal replied, his tone indicating he didn't actually care whether the child was from Mars or not.  
  
"Right, well..the thing is Mr. Hockley, that Eliza is an orphan now, unfortunately one of many from this tragedy. The government has been considering the situation very carefully. Whilst we would like to take in these children it would be a large drain on the economy, and with the current climate....you see, it's simply not feasible."  
  
"No." Cal said, wondering when the second shoe was going to drop?  
  
"I don't know if you are aware of this or not- do you know of Senator William Alden Smith?" The man asked.  
  
"I have heard of him.." Cal replied, a little cautiously. The rumors currently circulating in New York were that the senator was concerned about what had gone so wrong on a ship supposedly unsinkable, and that he was going to push for some kind of committee hearing to find out the facts. Whilst some people welcomed the idea, there were others who knew that things which might come out about them could make them look bad. Molly Brown, for one, was welcoming the inquiry, and Madeleine Astor who had lost her husband on the ill-fated voyage was in complete agreement.  
  
"Well tomorrow, during the Senate hearing he is going to propose a special investigation under the auspices of the Senate Commerce Committee, basically to- and these are his words- "investigate the causes leading to the wreck of the White Star liner Titanic, with its attendant loss of life so shocking to the civilized world." The man explained.  
  
"Indeed.." Cal said, his mouth suddenly a little dry. Surely this man, this public servant, was not indicating that his actions could come under scrutiny?  
  
"The fact is, Mr. Hockley, that your actions aboard the ship, with little Eliza, will not be looked upon favorably by the committee."  
  
"This is absurd. My actions saved the girl's life. If it weren't for me-"  
  
"Be that as it may your actions were wrong. You lied, and do you think society will appreciate a man who lied to save his own skin? You know, as do I, that they can be sharks out there. And of course your own father- we went to Harvard together did you know?"  
  
"I didn't." Cal replied.  
  
"Well I can't imagine him being too impressed, can you?"  
  
Cal shook his head. No, his father would not be too impressed, not because of what Cal had done, but more because of the reputation of the family. He was very into reputations!  
  
"So, what we're suggesting is this. You take this Eliza into your home and raise her, and the senate committee looks the other way about your actions involving her, and indeed any other person aboard the ship that night.."  
  
Cal stared at him. "Any other person aboard the ship?" Surely, surely he was not referring to the problems with that gutter-rat his Rose had been seduced by? How did he even know? Then it came to him, like a blow. Molly Brown. Molly knew everything.  
  
"Well Mr. Hockley? Is it a deal? If you ask me society would think highly of you for not only rescuing a young girl, but then taking her in. They wouldn't know about the reasons behind it-charity acts are all the rage at the moment aren't they?"  
  
Cal reflected that this was possible, but on the other hand, he wasn't sure he wanted the responsibility this would ensue. With the death of Rose he wanted to simply melt into society and forget the whole thing. The whole disaster. "If I agree, will we have an agreement that none of this, none of my.actions, will be aired in public?" Cal asked.  
  
"You have my word as a gentleman."  
  
Cal sighed. "There is really nothing for it is there?"  
  
"You are doing the right thing, believe me.."  
  
Cal wasn't too sure about that, but he did know he was doing the only thing he could do under the circumstances. Surely his father would rather an orphaned girl, and the idea that the Hockley's were charitable over the embarrassment of his actions being made known? However, his house was large enough so that he could hide the girl away with a nanny, forget that she even existed. A girl of her class couldn't possibly be expected to be part of society could she? Damn it all to hell, but there was really no choice. He was going to become the guardian of some Swedish girl, and he had no idea why! This was not like him, was it? 


	2. 2

New York, April 19, 1912.  
  
Cal stood on the platform of the train station, waiting. He'd booked two tickets to Philadelphia and was keen to get home in a hurry. The Titanic hearings were beginning that very day at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, with Mr. Ismay as the main witness to be examined that day, and he wanted to be away from them as soon as possible. He was waiting for the member of the government to show up with the orphan girl, and he was hoping that they would be on time. If he missed this train he would have to wait another few days, and there was no way he wanted to be in New York that long; the atmosphere was stifling. Suddenly he noticed someone staring at him, and then she came over. Her face was pale, and she was dressed in black.  
  
"You know I have to tell you Cal that I, that we all, admire what you are doing in taking this young unfortunate girl into your home..Rose would have been proud." Mrs. Hays, a family friend who had also lost her husband on board the Titanic, said, her eyes filling with tears. "It's almost like something which is rising from the ashes of the tragedy, don't you think?"  
  
Cal bit back a sharp comment about the fact that he was being blackmailed into this, that it was not something he was doing of his own choosing. Indeed the telegram sent to New York from his father hinted that he would have some choice words to say when they met. Instead he nodded. "Yes, I honestly believe that this is something Rose would have done..She was so good hearted.." In his mind he saw Rose as he had seen her last; running into that no-good scoundrel's arms, and then the two fleeing from him. Why had she done it? Why?  
  
"I know..I saw Mrs. Dewitt-Buckater yesterday. I think she is having great trouble getting over the whole thing. She's all alone now too..so many of us are all alone.." The tears which had been threatening earlier now clouded over, and she reached for her handkerchief to wipe them away.  
  
"It certainly is a great tragedy..and that fool senator having to have his little committee to relieve it all...I hope the damn English get what's coming to them though.." Cal replied.  
  
"Can we really blame the English?" Mrs. Hays asked. "If you ask me it was all that dreadful Ismay man. There are rumors that he wanted to make the papers and pushed the Captain into going faster.."  
  
Cal sighed impatiently. "There are always rumors about something." He said. "Personally I would not believe half of what I hear.."  
  
"Ah there are Mr and Mrs Harder..I must go.." Mrs. Hays said, and she hurried over to the couple.  
  
'What a shame!' Cal thought sarcastically. Whilst he generally tolerated the people of society well enough he was not exactly in the most gracious of moods at the moment. He was unsure about taking in the orphaned girl, and he was also unsure about the promise made by the officials. What if someone else knew something? What if he got blamed for Rose's death? After all it was his fault wasn't it? He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. No, Rose had been too headstrong, it was not his fault.  
  
"Mr. Hockley, you appear to be in a world of your own." A woman's voice interrupted his thoughts for the second time in as many minutes.  
  
'I wish!' Cal thought.  
  
And he turned to look at the young girl whom he had saved only a few nights before. She had been given a bath, and cleaned up, and her outfit, whilst new, was hardly stylish. She was looking around the train station, clearly in awe of her surroundings.  
  
"Eliza..this is Mr. Hockley, you remember we talked about him? He's going to be your new guardian.." The woman said gently.  
  
Eliza looked up at him, her eyes big and scared. "Thank-you." She said simply.  
  
Cal looked surprised. "She speaks English?" He said.  
  
"Passably. I am sure a bit of schooling will help with that though..I get the feeling she is actually very bright. With a few lessons, and a Nanny or something and probably some kind of therapy-"  
  
"Sorry, Miss?" Cal interrupted her.  
  
"Miss Charlton." The woman replied.  
  
"Right, well Miss Charlton, with all due respect I am not sure whether or not we will be educating her. I was under the impression that she was simply under my guardianship.." Cal explained, gritting his teeth in frustration. Surely now society was not going to expect him to treat her like his own daughter for gods sake? Surely he was not to be expected to fork out a fortune educating a third-class child, who was clearly that!  
  
The woman's eyes turned colder. "Sorry, I just assumed..."  
  
"Well you assumed wrong." Cal muttered. "At the moment I have no definite plans other than to get back home..."  
  
Technically speaking this was not true; Cal had thought about simply leaving the girl in the care of the servants, instructing them to teach her to become a maid or something and getting away from it all. But he knew in the back of his mind, that this was not really feasible. There were other things he had to deal with.  
  
"Indeed. Have a nice trip Eliza..be a good girl for Mr. Hockley.." The woman said.  
  
Seated on the train Cal sighed and closed his eyes. Beside him the young orphan was staring out the window. Other than the thank you she had given him earlier she had not spoken. He supposed she was in shock or something? After all she had been abandoned on the ship, and left to die. He opened his eyes and glanced at her. What on earth had he gotten himself into? 


	3. 3

Philadelphia, April 20, 1912.  
  
"Caledon.." Nathan Hockley said, holding out a hand to his son.  
  
"Father." Cal said equally as formally, shaking his father's hand. In Nathan's eyes affection was best left for behind closed doors. Cal's childhood had been devoid of any real emotion after his mother's early death. It wasn't until he was grown up that Nathan really spoke to him like an equal. And most of their conversations were confined to business and politics. For that matter Nathan also believed rage was best left for behind closed doors, and Cal saw his Father's eyes go towards Eliza, who was standing there silently.  
  
"This is her then?" Nathan asked, sighing.  
  
"Yes..Eliza, this is my father; Mr. Hockley." Cal said.  
  
Eliza muttered something that could perhaps of been interpreted as hello, but Nathan was not sure. "She doesn't speak much then?" He asked his son, as they walked towards the porter who was unloading what little Cal had from the train. All his luggage had gone down with the Titanic, but Nathan had wired some money into the New York bank for his son to buy some more clothing.  
  
"No more than necessary." Cal replied. The train journey had been completed in silence, other than Cal's occasional curt questions as to was she alright? Did she need a drink? Did she need to go to the toilet?  
  
"Hmmm..maybe she's dumb?" Nathan asked.  
  
Cal was quick to shake his head. "The lady from the government seems to think she is quite bright. It's just that she's in shock after what happened and all..Apparently they asked about her parents, but she just started crying. I can't imagine that some people would leave their own children and think of their safety only!" Cal replied.  
  
"Well not everyone has our class.." Nathan replied. "Caledon, have you considered what you're going to do with your..charge?"  
  
"Not really Father." Cal admitted. "I was waiting to consult with you about it."  
  
"Indeed." Nathan replied, sounding remarkably like his son. "I have to tell you that this really is most inconvenient. Now that the marriage between you and Rose can no longer be undertaken you'll have to find someone else. A child, esspecially one of her class, is not exactly a great incentive."  
  
"I disagree there Father." Cal said, a little surprised at his own comment. "From the impression I got in New York everyone was impressed with what I was doing..in fact there was a brief article in the times yesterday morning about my unselfish act, and it implored the rest of society to follow my example and hope that something can come from the whole tragedy! If I quote it said "If every good man and woman takes in one orphan to raise then surely we are doing our bit for the world." Of course not everyone can afford to really..."  
  
Nathan sighed. "I guess we have to make the best of it then don't we? But honestly Caledon your actions-"  
  
"Father, please not now..I'm still in mourning for Rose." Cal said quickly interrupting his father.  
  
"Mourning?" Nathan repeated a slight smile on his face. When he had arranged the marriage between Caledon and Rose, he had thought at the time it was a good match. Rose's family name was very respectable, not only in her native England, but also in America, and her mother was a fine woman. When he'd met the girl this was confirmed; she was beautiful and nice, and very well brought up. Yes, it had been a fine match. Even if both her and her mother had tried to deceive him about how much money they had been left. Oh maybe not so much Rose, but her mother, Francis, had certainly tried, and he'd been forced to tell her that he knew they had no money. Her eyes had widened, and she'd gone pale. "How did you know?" She'd asked. "I had a detective look into your affairs. With all due respect madam, my son's marriage is an important event. Did you think I would let him marry just anyone?" She didn't reply for a moment, and then in a quivering voice asked "Does this mean it's over then?" "Over?" He'd repeated. "No.no..The thing is, Cal's getting on. It's time he settled down and produced a heir..Rose is a nice girl, and I think she could be an asset to the Hockley's." And the two of them had promised that neither Rose, nor Cal, would know of this conversation. As far as Rose knew he, Nathan, had no idea they were broke. But as he had told her mother, Nathan didn't care about the money. The Hockley's had more than enough to not be concerned by it. Rose was a beauty, and Cal had to get married soon! But imagine Cal saying he was in mourning; for someone he barely knew and when he had been brought up to treat women merely as accessories!  
  
"That's right." Cal said. "Rose meant a great deal to me-"  
  
"Be honest with your father Caledon; Rose was nothing more than someone to make you look good. And of course someone to produce my grandchildren!" Nathan said harshly.  
  
Cal didn't reply, instead he was looking over at Eliza, who stood where they had left her, staring into the distance.  
  
"In New York they suggested therapy for her..." Cal said.  
  
"Therapy? Ridiculous!" Nathan snorted.  
  
"I don't know-she's been through a lot..we all have..." Cal said quietly.  
  
"I don't doubt it." Nathan said, his tone indicating that he actually did doubt it. "The thing is Caledon a child of Eliza's class is not really going to amount to anything other than a servant of some kind is she? Why don't we get Mrs. Limley to take her under her wing?"  
  
Cal hesitated. His father's voice made it blindingly clear that he assumed Cal would go along with his plans. And maybe he would have before..before the Titanic that is! But that night had changed things. On the train between New York and Philadelphia he'd been able to think about what had happened in more detail. He'd seen men, women and children struggling for their lives regardless of class! He'd seen people from rich, important families die alongside families who had not a cent to their name! Most strikingly he'd seen his fiancée desert him for someone who had nothing; not even a home! Whilst he still had strong feelings about the class divide, and whilst he knew he would never have chosen to be with someone like that gutter-rat, he also knew that he owed Rose something. She'd died, and he'd lived, and he owed her something. And maybe, just maybe, this child had been sent to him for him to find some kind of redemption? He knew he couldn't explain this all to his father, and even if he could there was no way Nathan would understand!  
  
"Sorry Father, but the point of us taking in Eliza, the government made this clear, was not to treat her as a servant-"  
  
"Ridiculous!" Nathan spluttered. "I won't believe it!"  
  
"They've told me point blank Father, that should they receive reports about her that are in any way unsatisfactory the agreement will be null and void. We're both businessmen Father; we know what that means. We break our agreement in not looking after Eliza the way they expect-which I believe includes schooling!- and my actions aboard the Titanic will be let out of the bag. Whilst you and I know that in private many men will agree with my actions, in public they can't condone them..our name would be mud Father.." Cal lied.  
  
Nathan looked at him for a moment, and then his eyes dropped. He'd swallowed it! He knew that his son's actions could have dire consequences for the Hockley family!  
  
"Fine.but it comes from your money you understand. And I don't wish to see her more than I can help...and education or no education you realise the best someone of her class can expect in society is to be a teacher or something. Certainly not a debutante!"  
  
Cal didn't reply. He was planning on engaging a governess for Eliza before he could send her away to school. Surely Rose would not expect him to treat her like his own child? By educating her, by giving her a chance to be something in life- albeit something lowly, wasn't he doing enough? 


	4. 4

Philadelphia, March 11, 1915.  
  
"You sent for me?" Eliza asked, softly, hesitating at the door of her guardian's study. In the three years she'd been in this house the only other time she'd been called down there had been to learn that Nathan Hockley had suffered a heart attack and died, only six months before. Of course she'd received this information calmly. The old man hadn't liked her, and when she'd come across him in the large house he'd wrinkle his nose, and not speak to her. The only time he spoke to her was when he asked her whether or not she realised how lucky she was? She'd nodded, and he seemed satisfied. Once she'd overheard him and her guardian fighting over what to do with her. "You've spent a small fortune on that governess for her when all along I've been telling you that someone of her class shouldn't expect an education. Had you not taken her in she would be a maid somewhere by now!" Nathan had said, his voice colder than ice. Cal had hesitated before replying. "I've told you that this is my duty, and I'm not changing my mind Father. I'm not saying that she's going to be a debutante who society will accept as one of them- they'd never do that, even though they congratulate me on my charity act! But I'm not going to put her to work. It's not fair. Rose-" "Damn you with that Rose stuff. Caledon you don't fool me-you didn't love her!" Nathan had snapped. Cal hadn't replied, and Eliza, scared she would be caught eavesdropping had hurried away.  
  
She was a pretty girl of nine, with brown-blonde hair which curled over her forehead, and often over her wide green eyes, which still managed to look innocent after all that she'd been through. Her governess reported that she was indeed very bright, and that she was almost running out of things to teach her, only to be told curtly to find things to teach her! However the last time she had broached the subject had been after the elder Hockley's death, and she'd been told to persevere for just a little while longer. "I've just got to get things in order before I work out how much money I have." Cal had told her, and she'd marveled at that. Even she knew he was a multi-millionaire.  
  
"I did indeed Eliza..come in child." Cal said. Over the past three years he'd not grown to love the child-he couldn't bring himself to love someone of her class he told himself firmly- but he'd grown used to her. Sometimes he even caught himself watching her playing with housekeeper's granddaughter, and smiling fondly at her! If Rose was watching from above she'd approve of the way he treated her, he was sure. She'd know that what he was doing had been hard for him-despite the comments people in society gave him about how he was acting so unselfishly and that Rose would be so proud he was sure that privately they felt that paying for a governess for a third-class girl was a bit extravagant-and that it was certainly better than what would have happened had he not taken her in. (He conveniently overlooked the fact that he had been blackmailed into it!) Had she been left as a ward of the state she'd have been brought up in an orphanage in New York, and put to work as a maid as soon as it was humanely possible in order to earn her keep! Whilst he knew that society would never accept her as one of them he wanted her to have a proper education so that she could have a career. A proper career, not one as a servant, surely was more than her parents could ever have hoped for her?  
  
Eliza entered the study slowly.  
  
"Sit down please.." Cal said. The child made him slightly nervous sometimes, especially when she looked at him in that scared way, like he was a monster.  
  
Eliza sat, making sure that her skirts were rearranged properly. One of the first things her governess had done was teach her the "proper way" to behave. "You've had six years of not being brought up properly, so I've got a lot of work to do to make you into a lady!" She'd lectured, as Eliza'd walked around with books on her head to make her walk straight and properly. "Not that you're going to be a lady per se, but it would be a credit to me if you acted like one!"  
  
Cal nodded approvingly. Then he reached for his pipe. "Eliza, do you know who Amanda Bunton is?" He asked.  
  
Eliza thought for a moment. "She is the pretty lady who sometimes comes here." She said, her voice still showing traces of her native Sweden, despite the good English she spoke.  
  
Cal laughed. "The pretty lady! Yes, she is very pretty isn't she? Her parents own a pharmaceutical company, and they are very wealthy indeed- perhaps not as wealthy as me, but wealthy nonetheless. Before my Father died he approved a match between us, not that I'd be forced into something I didn't want mind you. The thing is Eliza, Amanda- Miss Bunton- and I are getting married."  
  
He waited for her to say something, but she was looking thoughtful. "Eliza?"  
  
"Sorry, it is good news that you are getting married. Congratulations." She said gravely. Sometimes she sounded more like a nineteen-year-old than a nine-year-old, he thought with a wry smile.  
  
"It is good news." Cal agreed. "The wedding is planned for this summer, and we then plan on a long honeymoon in Europe."  
  
"Europe?" Eliza almost whispered, and a strange look crossed her face.  
  
"Is there something wrong with Europe?" Cal asked, a little impatiently.  
  
"No Sir." Eliza replied, but Cal knew there was something on her mind, and he had a good idea what it was.  
  
"What happened on the Titanic Eliza was a very, very unfortunate incident. People cross the seas every day and they are fine..." Cal said.  
  
Eliza didn't reply.  
  
"Anyway there is another reason I asked to speak to you. This summer, whilst I am in Europe I've decided to send you to school. I've been looking into the matter very carefully to find a school suited for you, and I've found one in  
  
Boston which comes to me highly recommended. In fact one of the Morgan's is completing her last year there I believe! You'll learn the things you will need for later life. I'm making a sizeable donation to the school so you should be treated well." Privately he was a little in doubt about that. The headmistress was a stern woman, and when he had approached her about Eliza's enrollment she'd been hesitant to say the least. "Surely there is somewhere more suited to a child like her?" She'd asked. Cal had fixed her with one of his coolest stares. "Of course there are plenty of other schools in this state who would be willing to make her feel welcome and comfortable for the very large sum I would pay." As he knew well money talked-even to those who claimed to be deaf to it.  
  
"A school.." Eliza said slowly. "With other girls.."  
  
"Yes, girls your age.." Cal replied.  
  
"It might be alright!" Eliza said.  
  
Cal smiled. "I think you'll be happy there. And of course you'll be back here on your holidays!"  
  
Eliza nodded, and suddenly she realised she was actually excited about this! For his part, Cal noted the smile on the girls' face with relief. Whilst he had already made the plans and the payment it was a lot easier on him if she went happily. It certainly made things easier with Amanda, who was keen to have the young girl out of the house as much as possible. "Don't get me wrong Cal, what you've done by taking her in is wonderful, very admirable. But she's really not one of us, is she?" Cal was glad that things had worked out with both parties! 


	5. 5

Boston, August 13, 1915.  
  
The young girl was walking the grounds alone, her head bowed and her hair blowing about her face. The headmistress pursed her lips with distaste, as she watched out the window of her study. Did he really think his money could buy her acceptance? Oh some of the girls spoke to her, but they knew instinctively that she was not one of them! As a result her acquaintances were casual at best; there was no "best friend" to spend time giggling and playing with. And, the headmistress knew that it could get worse as she got older. With a sigh she turned her back on the lonely young girl and started to reply to a letter from a school patron in New York.  
  
For her part Eliza wasn't so pessimistic as the headmistress. She knew that the girls liked her, but they also knew that she was "different." The way she spoke with an accent, the way she acted. Even though she was only nine Eliza knew all this. But she wasn't about to let this stop her from trying to make friends; not someone as stubborn as her!  
  
*****  
  
That night as they were eating their tea the topic got onto parents.  
  
"My father is a very famous lawyer!" Said Katy Williams. "He puts bad people in jail!"  
  
"My father is a senator in Washington-he works for the government." Another girl, Jennifer Smith, said. Then she turned to Eliza, "What about you? What does your father do?"  
  
Eliza hesitated. How could she tell them what her real father did? So she decided to tell them about Cal. A few minutes later they were hanging on to her every word.  
  
"You know, I think my parents know yours!" Katy said. "They went to your Father's wedding-they said it was one of the biggest, grandest weddings they'd ever been to. Mother was very impressed!"  
  
"It was big!" Eliza agreed, but she didn't tell them that she had only watched it from her bedroom window! Amanda had put her foot down at Cal's "charge" as she insisted on calling her attending! "Really Cal, it's great what you're doing for her, but she'd be out of place at a society wedding." Cal had agreed with her, he always seemed to agree to avoid conflict! And so Eliza had watched from the window. Before the ceremony, when he was dressed and ready, Cal had gone to her room and told her again that he was sorry she couldn't be out there. "It's just..well you'll find out one day for yourself what women are like about their weddings...they only want who they want there. In all honesty us men are lucky to be invited!"  
  
"Wow..so you're richer than us!" Jenny said. "I guess you've been to Europe- maybe that's why you speak so funny?"  
  
Eliza smiled. "Yes, I spent a few years there! Then we came back here on the tit-on a huge luxury liner.."  
  
"We went on a ship to England. Mother spent the whole time being scared we were going to sink! It was just after that Titanic thing you see!" another girl said.  
  
"If it did sink it would only be because of you on it!" Katy said cruelly. "Honestly Annabelle, could you possibly stuff yourself anymore? Mother told me that a real lady doesn't have an appetite!"  
  
Eliza saw the tears in the corner of Annabelle's eyes, and glared at Katy. "I think Annabelle is fine the way she is. If she's happy we should be happy for her!"  
  
Katy looked at her thoughtfully, but didn't say anything else.  
  
As they were leaving the dining room Annabelle whispered to Eliza "Thanks for sticking up for me. Katy is right though- I am a pig!"  
  
"Well the food is so nice here you can't help but be a pig. Even I eat more than I usually do!" Eliza replied loyally. Something about the other girl made her feel protective! "And it's certainly better than the food in Sweden!"  
  
"Do they eat weird foods there?" Annabelle asked, interested.  
  
Eliza shook her head. "Not really.." She didn't elaborate, or else she might have told Annabelle that it was not that the food was not nice, it was that there was none of it. Only recently had memories begun to come back to her in bits, like a flood, and when they came they hit her so suddenly! Other than what she remembered her previous life was like a blank canvas. (What she didn't know was that this was normal; people who have experienced a trauma like she had often block it out as a coping mechanism, until they are able to deal with it!) She remembered Cal picking her up and putting her in the boat, but she didn't know why, and she didn't know where her parents had gone. She assumed that they had told him to put her in the boat and they'd planned to catch the next one, but something had prevented this? And as she stood there with Annabelle she also remembered getting on the Titanic, and being inspected by health officials, and her father grumbling that they were rough, and treating them like dogs. And her mother, always calm, saying to be patient, it was a small price to pay for a new life.  
  
"Are you alright? You look kind of pale!" Annabelle asked, a little concerned.  
  
Eliza forced a smile. "I'm fine." She managed, and then she left the room to go back to her room.  
  
On her bed she thought about the image of her father in her mind. Was that what he looked like? Was it so terrible that she couldn't remember it all? Would she ever know what had happened on that night? And her mother; that woman in the memory had been her mother! "Mummy!" She whispered to herself. "Mummy."  
  
*****  
  
Over the next few days Eliza became part of the group. Her story about Cal had made her part of them. Annabelle, of them all, was probably her best friend. Since she had stuck up for her at dinner the other girl stuck as close to Eliza's side as possible. The headmistress, observing this, remarked to another teacher that maybe she had been wrong after all. "It'd be nice to think that girls of their age don't think of people in terms of class..that they can all play together nicely!" The teacher, only a young fool of a woman in the headmistress's opinion, replied. "It would be nice; but I fear that if they find out they could be very cruel!"  
  
*****  
  
Eliza was quietly reading a book when in the sun, when all of a sudden the sun was blocked out. She looked up startled. Katy stood there, a triumphant look on her face, surrounded by the other girls, even Annabelle who stood well back, with an unhappy look on her face. Some of the girls looked knowing, others simply looked curious.  
  
"I knew it you know..I knew there was something strange about you!" Katy said, waving a piece of paper in front of Eliza's face.  
  
"And not just the funny accent!" Jennifer chimed in.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Eliza insisted.  
  
"Your father is Caledon Hockley you claim!" Katy said.  
  
Eliza swallowed hard.  
  
"According to Mother Caledon Hockley doesn't have any children. He does, however, have a ward that he took in after the Titanic disaster. A steerage passenger whose parents died on the ship and who was left alone. Mother says you're only a charity act!" Katy said.  
  
Eliza couldn't speak, tears were welling up in her eyes, and she felt like there was a huge lump in her throat.  
  
"You're a liar." Katy declared. The girls were all silent now; calling someone a liar was a big thing.  
  
"I'm not.he is like my father now!" Eliza insisted.  
  
"A charity act." Katy spat again, her eyes cold. "A charity act liar! We're not speaking to you now...come on girls, lets leave the liar alone!"  
  
Most of them followed her, although Annabelle and another girl hung back.  
  
"Were you really on the Titanic?" Margaret asked.  
  
"Yes." Eliza replied.  
  
"Wow, what was it like? I've seen photos of it; it was huge wasn't it? And very luxurious."  
  
"I don't really remember it much." Eliza said. Seeing the look of disbelief on the other girls face she assured her that she really didn't remember much. "I get bits of memories coming back all the time lately though..the other day I remembered health inspection!"  
  
"Health inspection?" Margaret repeated, a funny look on her face. "Isn't that like for third class passengers only?"  
  
Eliza hesitated, and then decided that if people wanted to know the truth they would get the truth. She was no liar!  
  
"Yes it is...and it was horrible. We had our hair checked for lice and we had-"  
  
"I better hurry up or they'll be wondering where I am." Margaret cut her off, and she hurried after Katy and the girls.  
  
Eliza watched her go, and then turned to Annabelle. "Well? Are you going to leave too?" She asked her harshly.  
  
Annabelle shook her head earnestly. "No! You're the only one here who's really nice to me..you're my friend!"  
  
Eliza smiled, and Annabelle smiled too. As long as she had someone maybe she'd be able to survive this school thing! 


	6. 6

Philadelphia, December 23, 1915.  
  
Eliza hesitated before going into the living room. She'd seen the huge Christmas tree been carried in by workmen from her bedroom window earlier, and now she wanted to have a closer look at it. Her eyes widened with amazement. The tree took up most of the spacious room, and was lavishly decorated with colored ribbon, and ornaments. She moved closer, and reached out a hand to touch the spiky pine needles. A memory jumped unbidden into her mind: She was sitting by a small fire, and there was a tree. It was not as lavish as this one, but the room somehow seemed to be filled with love and happiness. "Just think Eliza, this time next year we'll be celebrating Christmas in America." Her mother said. "Do they have trees there?" Eliza asked. "Oh yes, big, big ones. A lot bigger than this one." Her mother had replied. Eliza had sighed happily, and thought about the coming trip. She was not scared about leaving her native land, she was excited! Her father had returned from work then, tired after having worked eleven hours. "What's a lot bigger than what?" He asked, throwing his cap to Eliza who caught it, and proudly hung it on the nail on the wall. Her mother explained what they had been talking about, and her father nodded. "Everything's a lot bigger in America!" He said. "But most importantly it's a land of opportunity. I wont have to work eleven hours just to put food on the table.and what miserable food.." He'd sighed. Standing in front of the huge Christmas tree in Philadelphia America Eliza sighed also. Her father never even reached America!  
  
"Why do you look so sad on Christmas?" Amanda had entered the room without Eliza even hearing her. "You looked like you were in another world."  
  
'Another country maybe!' Eliza thought. She turned around. "I was just thinking about my parents and Christmas in Sweden."  
  
Amanda frowned. "I thought you couldn't remember your past. Cal said that you didn't even remember your parents!" She said.  
  
"I didn't, I don't really. The last few months memories have started coming back to me!" Eliza explained.  
  
"Oh." Amanda looked thoughtful. "Do you remember the Titanic, and the sinking?" She asked.  
  
"Not really. I remember leaving England though. Everyone was crowded round the sides, pushing to get a spot. My father let me sit on his shoulders so I could see over. The crowd on the wharf were all waving back. And my father was telling me to wave goodbye to our old life, that this was the last step in our journey. He said America would be good to us, that we would have a good life there. And I remember mother was sad, and he put his arm around her and promised us again that this was the best thing we could do..he was sure that he would make his fortune in America. We saw this girl getting onto the ship, and she was clearly rich, and I was admiring her clothes, and my father told me that he would buy me beautiful clothes like that in America.." Eliza trailed off.  
  
"Ironic isn't it that you do have good clothes, but that they're only charity?" Amanda replied her tone cold.  
  
"Ironic.." Eliza repeated, wracking her brain for the meaning of the word.  
  
Amanda didn't seem to realise that the girl hadn't understood what she meant. She changed the topic. "Do you know a Jennifer at school?"  
  
Eliza nodded, wondering why Amanda was asking. Since the girls had found out that she was lying about Cal being her father most of them hadn't spoken to her, other than to ridicule her. Only Annabelle had really stuck by her, which meant that she too had earned the snide taunts of the other girls. But she chose to ignore them!  
  
"You know it's wrong to lie don't you? I know that you weren't brought up properly, but surely even someone of your low class knows that lying is wrong? What kind of parents did you have?" Amanda asked.  
  
Eliza felt tears well up in her eyes, but she blinked them back. "I was brought up fine!" She said angrily.  
  
"Whatever." Amanda muttered. "The thing is I have spoken to Cal about this, I suggested that perhaps school wasn't for you?"  
  
Eliza felt her heart begin to race. Despite the harsh cruelty of the other girls she enjoyed school; she loved to learn! She wanted to know what Cal said, but she wasn't about to ask.  
  
"Cal, however, seems to have been conned by you..he suggested that it was up to him as you were his ward, not mine...quite rudely actually.." Amanda mused, almost as if she were talking to herself. "I'm sure though, that sooner or later he will realise who you are.."  
  
Eliza stood there, not sure what to say or do. Amanda solved the problem for her. "I'm going to put presents under here for Cal and my friends and family-as you know Christmas is an extremely social time for us so we wont be here much-but I warn you to stay clear of this room. Some of the presents under this tree will be very expensive and I don't want you in here. I will be instructing the servants to make sure they keep an eye on you. If anything goes missing I'll know where to look for it! Now go on-out of here. Go up to your room or something!"  
  
Up in her room Eliza sighed. Clearly Amanda didn't like her, nor did she like her being around. She hoped that she wouldn't convince Cal of anything; she didn't want to leave school! Would she ever fit in anywhere? Or was she destined to always be the odd one out? Her tears started falling, in time with the light snow outside. 


	7. 7

Boston, March 13, 1916.  
  
There was a knock on the sitting room door, and one of the maids popped her head around. "Miss Eliza?" She asked.  
  
Eliza glanced up from her needlepoint, as did all the other girls in the room.  
  
"Yes?" She asked.  
  
"The headmistress would like to see you." The maid replied.  
  
"Okay I shall go right there." Eliza said, and the maid curtsied and then left the room.  
  
"I wonder what she's done now." Katy said loudly. "Probably something bad like stealing-some people don't know that certain things-like stealing, like lying-are wrong!"  
  
Eliza gritted her teeth. Most of the time things were bearable as the girls basically ignored her and Annabelle, but sometimes she couldn't help but open her big mouth. Holding her head high she left the room and made her way to the headmistress's study.  
  
"You wanted to see me Ma'am?" Eliza asked.  
  
"Yes, yes. Sit down child, I am afraid I've got bad news for you." The Headmistress replied.  
  
Feeling sick Eliza sat down quickly, and then seeing the headmistress's look of disapproval fixed her skirts properly and folded her hands on her knees like she had been taught.  
  
"It seems your guardian's wife has died in childbirth." The headmistress said.  
  
"Childbirth?" Eliza echoed puzzled.  
  
"You didn't know she was expecting?" The headmistress said, and Eliza shook her head.  
  
"Well I suppose you wouldn't, you're not really family per se are you?" The headmistress mused. "Nonetheless I am sure you're very upset and-"  
  
"I am not upset at all. She was a horrid, horrid woman. She did not like me, and I did not like her. She did not even let me join in the Christmas dinner-even though Cal pleaded. I don't care that she is dead! In fact I am glad!" Eliza exploded.  
  
The headmistress pursed her lips with distaste and glared at the child who was red in the face, and looking every bit the third class girl she was. "Well!" She managed to say. "I must say I am not surprised at your behavior. I think you're very ungrateful, and I think perhaps you need some more lessons in etiquette- don't you know you don't interrupt an adult? Let alone yell at one."  
  
Eliza didn't reply, and the headmistress sighed. "You may leave now."  
  
Eliza left without speaking. She didn't feel any sadness over the death of Cal's wife, but she did feel sorry for him. He'd now lost two women he'd loved! It didn't seem very fair. Back in the sitting room it was obvious that the girls had been discussing Eliza because as soon as she walked in they all turned curious eyes to her.  
  
"Did you get told off?" Jennifer demanded.  
  
Eliza frowned. "Not at all, although it would please you." She said.  
  
"I know girls!" Katy said with a smirk. "I bet she got told that just because in her old family they only bathed once a year she has to do more than that here. Just because her Mama was a dirty whore-"  
  
Before anyone even realised what was happening Eliza had flown across the room at Katy, and scratched her down the face. Katy screamed, and tried to hit her back, but Eliza had her pinned down on the floor, and none of the other girls had moved.  
  
"Take it back! Say my mother was not a dirty whore!" Eliza said angrily.  
  
"I wont!" Katy yelled. "It's the truth!"  
  
Eliza's hands tightened around Katy's throat, and the other girl began to turn blue until Eliza suddenly felt herself being bodily lifted up.  
  
"What on earth was going on here?" The teacher hissed. "What were you doing to her?"  
  
"She was picking on my mother. She called her a dirty whore!" Eliza said angrily.  
  
"A what?" The teacher said. "I'm sure that kind of language was acceptable in your home, but not here, and not in the homes of these girls."  
  
"I didn't say it-Katy did!" Eliza protested.  
  
Katy hadn't spoken yet-she was staring at the blood from her cheek which was on her hands now, in shock.  
  
  
  
"She's right. Katy said it!" Annabelle hurried to say.  
  
"I don't want to hear any more. I am disgusted that you think the way to solve things is with violence. You are not a lady at all." The teacher replied. "Now I want you to apoligise to Katy-"  
  
"NEVER!" Eliza yelled. "I am not saying sorry to her when she said something so bad about my mother!"  
  
"Then you will be punished. I think the headmistress will be more than glad to keep you locked up in your room for a few days, and hopefully when you get out you will have learnt that the girls here are of a class where they don't swear, and they don't fight!" The teacher said. "And no doubt a letter will be sent to your guardian."  
  
"My Daddy will sue you!" Katy said. "I am going to tell him what the little gutter rat did to me!"  
  
The teacher looked flustered. "Now Katy I am sure the headmistress will see to it-"  
  
"Look what the little orphan did to my cheek!" Katy screamed. "I'll be scarred for life!"  
  
  
  
Annabelle snorted, and Katy glared at her. "What's so funny fatty?" She demanded.  
  
  
  
"This is enough. Eliza-we shall go to the headmistress. The rest of you I want to see those needlepoint's done when I get back or else I might punish you too!" The teacher said, having had enough of the bickering.  
  
"But I don't need to be punished! I bet they expel the little lying orphan- " Katy began to moan, but the teacher's look stopped her.  
  
Back in the headmistress's office for the second time in only a few minutes Eliza listened soberly as the teacher explained what had happened. Astonishingly she told the story the way Eliza and Annabelle had told it (she was no stranger to Katy's smart mouth, and she was also a little fond of the young Swedish girl who had not caused any trouble in the time she had been there!), and the headmistress listened thoughtfully.  
  
"It seems clear to me that you were provoked however I still need to punish you for fighting. A lady doesn't do that kind of thing, and whilst you are at this school you will conduct yourself as a lady-even if it is hard for you to do so-at all times. I will send you to bed now, and you may not leave your room for two days. I consider this punishment very lenient and of course I will be writing to your guardian to inform him of this incident. Although it seems a shame to put an added burden on him at this awful time in his life! And I hope you learn your lesson because next time I shall be stricter!" The headmistress said.  
  
"What about Katy?" Eliza demanded. "Is she to be punished too?"  
  
"Never mind about her." The headmistress replied. "Now-I think you should go to your room."  
  
In her room Eliza sat dejectedly on her bed. Was life ever going to get better for her? And what would Cal say when he got the letter from the headmistress? Would he be angry at her for not behaving herself? She buried her face in her pillow and cried. Why had life been so cruel to her, taking her parents away, taking most of her memory away also? 


	8. 8

Philadelphia, June 29, 1916.  
  
Eliza sighed, and swung her legs idly in the chair. She had been told by one of the maids to sit there and wait for Cal to come in and see her. He'd been over in Europe since the death of his wife a few months back, and this was the first she was going to see of him since then. She had, however, received a brief note from him for her tenth birthday the month before. The last few months at school had been a little tougher since the fight with Katy. Eliza had been punished on a few more occasions for fighting or swearing, even though she had been provoked by some of the meaner girls, who's insults were getting worse as the time went on, and they thought up things which they knew would annoy Eliza even more. Most esspecially they made fun of her for not remembering all of her past. However Eliza didn't tell them that she was remembering a lot more of her previous life, and her parents. As most of the things she remembered-such as poverty, hunger and sadness-were things the other girls wouldn't be able to appreciate Eliza knew there was no point arguing and telling them that she actually could remember her life in Sweden!  
  
A noise in the doorway made her look up. It seemed to her that he seemed a little older since she had last seen him. He had a few wrinkles, and she spotted a few gray hairs in his head.  
  
"Hello Eliza..how are you?" Cal asked, coming into the room, and sitting behind his large desk.  
  
"I am very good thank you sir. And how are you?" Eliza asked politely, remembering one of the first rules of etiquette she had learnt in school- when you are asked if you are well never, ever forget to ask how the person who asked you is.  
  
Cal smiled slightly at his charge's manners. "I'm as well as can be expected." He admitted candidly. "The reason I had to speak to you Eliza was that I've received a few reports from your school in the last few months."  
  
Eliza looked down at the floor.  
  
"Fighting, swearing.Eliza, surely you know that these kind of things are not ladylike?" Cal asked her. "I know that in the last four years you've learnt a lot about the proper way to behave, but maybe you haven't learnt as much as I had hoped."  
  
"Sir?" Eliza asked timidly.  
  
"Mmm?" Cal asked absently. He was thinking about the reports he had and what exactly he should be doing.  
  
"I only fought with the girls when they made fun of me. They said such terrible things about me and my parents, and even you!" Eliza explained.  
  
"Of me?" Cal raised an eyebrow.  
  
"They did, but I can't repeat them to you. They were very bad." Eliza said, a little embarrassed.  
  
"Be that as it may Eliza I hate to say this, but the headmistress has asked that you not return after the summer holidays." Cal said.  
  
Eliza looked at him in shock, tears filling her eyes. "Not go back? But I love school. I love to learn!"  
  
"I didn't say you wouldn't go to school, I just said you wouldn't be going there!" Cal said. "Actually Eliza I have found a school which I think might suit you better. It's in Virginia, and I happen to have a few friends who have sent their children there. It's a lot more expensive than the one you were attending before, but I don't think money is exactly a problem for me.."  
  
Eliza brushed her tears out of her eyes. "I would miss Annabelle!" She said.  
  
Cal sighed, and leant his head in his hands. He knew people were definitely going to talk when they heard that he was sending Eliza to somewhere such as the school he was planning! They had already began to say that they thought he had done his duty in helping an orphaned third class girl and that he could probably put her to work now, knowing that she'd had a better life and opportunity that she would have had he not helped her! But for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do that. Whether it was because he was actually now fond of the girl, or whether it was still because of Rose, he didn't know.  
  
"I am sorry Eliza, but the headmistress was pretty explicit in her instructions. And she wasn't the only one. I had a letter from Mr. Williams, who was most upset about the trauma suffered by his daughter, and he suggested that he could possible sue us. Of course I wrote back to him telling him I thought that this was a bit too excessive for an argument between two schoolgirls. He agreed with me on that point but I have a feeling that he has exerted strong pressure on the headmistress in this case. No, I am sorry Eliza, but it is out of the question that you return."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Later that evening Eliza walked into the sitting room, and stopped dead. Cal was in there, and he had something in his hands-a newspaper clipping perhaps- and he was staring at it as if he had seen a ghost. She must have made some noise which she was unaware of, because his head jerked up as if he had received an electric shock.  
  
"Eliza!" He said, sounding almost out of breath, and strangely hoarse. "I didn't see you."  
  
"Sorry." She replied. "I was just coming to get a drink of milk to help me get to sleep."  
  
"Come here for a moment.." Cal said.  
  
Eliza walked hesitantly over to him. Something in his demeanor scared her a little. He smiled slightly at her, and then handed her the paper, which turned out to be an advertisement for a play opening on Broadway. The woman in the photograph was staring into the camera smiling, and her long wavy hair was loose and flowing over the cowgirl costume she was wearing.  
  
"Do you know who this woman is?" Cal asked Eliza.  
  
Eliza looked at the name. "Rose Dawson." She said.  
  
"Rose Dewitt Buckator would be more accurate.." Cal said.  
  
Eliza widened her eyes.  
  
"I guess my darling fiancée survived the titanic disaster after all." Cal said coldly. "But I wasn't good enough for her. An actress of all damn things!"  
  
Eliza didn't know what to say. "Are you..will you see her?"  
  
"See her? No. No, she chose to let me believe she was dead, so in my heart she is dead. And besides, the name Dawson, that was the name of the gutter rat. Maybe he survived also.." Cal frowned at this thought. "Maybe I might make some inquiries, but that is all. I never, ever want to see Rose again. Not now." And he suddenly seemed to realize who he was speaking to, and he changed the subject, brusquely telling her to get her drink and get to bed.  
  
Up in her room Eliza thought about what she had learnt. The fiancée who Cal had mourned for the last six years was not really dead. She was now an actress and perhaps married to someone else. It must have really hurt Cal to hear that. The poor man, she thought, it never ended for him. She didn't think about what she, a mere child, had been through. It was strange because Cal had never given her more affection than he would a distant person, but he showed that he cared about her by the way he acted, and treated her. She knew he didn't love her, not the least because of her third class status and his first class status, but she knew that he was used to her. And that was all she could possibly ask for, as she knew that life would have been a lot harder had he not agreed to take her in when the government asked him to. She remembered the lady from the government telling her about it; "When we asked Mr. Hockley whether he would be prepared to take you in and look after you he was more than happy to agree. Isn't that nice?" And it was nice, she thought now. He was a nice man for all he had done, so it was such a shame that he had been through what he had in his lifetime! The little girl fell asleep to these thoughts.  
  
[Authors note: I am well aware that Cal didn't agree to take Eliza in happily like it says above, but you'll find out later that there is a reason for me writing it like this.] 


	9. 9

Richmond, Virginia, May 1920.  
  
Fourteen year old Eliza sighed as she read the latest letter off her guardian:  
  
"Eliza,  
  
Sorry I have not written for awhile, but I've been very busy with business matters. After the War business has been a little down. Of course I am sure it will recover eventually. I have been receiving most satisfactory reports from your headmistress about your behavior as well as your education. As you are no doubt well aware you will soon be leaving school for good, so it is time we gave some consideration to what exactly you will be doing. When you return this summer we shall discuss it in detail.  
  
Fondly,  
  
Caldeon Hockley."  
  
Of course Eliza had been considering what she would do with herself when she finished school. There was no way that Cal would send her to a finishing school or something like that. As it was people thought it extremely strange that Cal took her in, and even stranger that instead of putting her straight to work he engaged a governess for her, and then after his father's death sent her to school. And what a school this one was! Unlike at her previous school nobody here really knew, or cared, about the fact that she was an orphan who Cal had taken in after the Titanic sunk. Cal paid the money for her to have a private room and keep her clothes up to date fashionwise, so she didn't stand out from the crowd. Thinking about all that life had given her made Eliza think about her parents for a moment. The last few years had seen her regain her memory completely about her parents, and her old, poor life in Sweden. The only thing which was missing was the trip on the Titanic. "Who would ever have guessed Mama?" She whispered to herself. "Did you think, when you gave me to Cal to get off the sinking ship onto a lifeboat that he would do what he has done for me?"  
  
There was a knock on Eliza's door, and she called for the person to come in.  
  
"Aren't you coming down for dinner?" The person, who entered, asked.  
  
Eliza realized that it was darker, and she must have been sitting on her bed with the letter thinking longer than she knew. "Sorry, I got distracted." She said. "I'll be right down Veronica."  
  
"Well hurry." Veronica said. "We are having a roast tonight-and you know how Annabelle loves it."  
  
Eliza had to grin. When Annabelle had heard that Eliza was not returning to school in Boston she'd thrown a fit, and demanded that her father transfer her too. She told her parents about how she and Eliza were both treated, and how Eliza was her only friend in the whole world! Anxious to avoid any conflict they had agreed, and now she and Eliza were happily part of the new school community.  
  
*****  
  
"Was the letter you received earlier today from Cal?" Annabelle asked later.  
  
Eliza nodded. "He wants me to give some thought to what I want to do when I finish here."  
  
Annabelle pouted. "I wish you were coming to finishing school with me. It sounds so dull!"  
  
Eliza had to laugh. "But Annabelle, if you don't go there you wont be able to be a debutante!"  
  
"Yuk!" Annabelle replied. "An awful dress, and some awful young man Mother wants to line me up with, who is as boring as his fortune is large! Really, I think you're going to be luckier than me!"  
  
"How's that?" Eliza asked wondering. She hadn't admitted her fears to anyone yet, not even her best friend, but she was worried that Cal would turn her into a maid or something boring like that, putting all her education and manners to waste. But a little voice nagging inside her reminded her that Cal had already done way more than was expected of him! Sometimes she wondered why he actually did so much for her, but she had no idea!  
  
"It would be nicer to be able to not worry about it, that's all." Annabelle replied.  
  
"Well trust me, I've got plenty to worry about!" Eliza assured her. "I don't know what I am going to be doing when this summer is over since I'll be finished with school and all." 


	10. 10

Philadelphia, July 1920.  
  
"Eliza.you're a little later than I had expected." Cal said, standing up to greet his ward as she entered his study. He studied her furtively. She seemed a lot more mature and grown up than she had the last time he had seen her. Her hair was down her back, and her green eyes were bright, and her skin was clear.  
  
"The train was delayed." Eliza explained. She was tired from the long journey, but she knew that this conversation was about to decide her fate, and wanted to be clear of mind. Since the letter from Cal the other month she had been dreading this moment, but at the same time she had been looking forward to it, wanting to know what was going to happen to her. She'd decided that Cal would let her go into the world, thinking that he had done enough for her over the years. More than he should have maybe?  
  
"Take a seat Eliza." Cal said, gesturing and then seating him back behind the desk that Eliza had always thought was so big when she was younger.  
  
Eliza sat.  
  
"Well, as you know I've been in Europe the past few months on business. It's starting to pick up again, although I must admit there is some trepidation by a lot of business men here to deal with the Germans on matters of steel." Cal said.  
  
Eliza nodded politely, not sure where this was heading.  
  
"Anyway, whilst over in Europe I decided to branch out to the European market. London in fact. What this means, in practical terms, is that I won't be here for the next year or so. Therefore the idea of what you should do becomes a major issue for me. My first thought was to take you with me.."  
  
Eliza felt her heart begin to race. Go to Europe on a ship. She couldn't! There was no way in the world she was going to get on a ship, not after her parents dying on one! Her mind went back to that night in April 1912, eight years ago:  
  
What stood out most in her mind was the noise. People calling to each other, the officers directing the crew in getting the boats down, and the noise from the boats themselves. "Stay here darling." Her Mama told her. "I am just going to run back down to the cabin and get something we will need for America." Eliza knew what it was: the one thing of real value her family owned-an engagement ring her Grandmother had left to her Mother. "Now promise me you won't move an inch. Daddy is just looking for a boat for us. DON'T MOVE!" Her mother hurried off, leaving her there. Tears fell from her cheeks as she waited. Why were they taking so long? Why weren't they getting off the boat? She was so scared! So scared! "Please!" One of the officers called. "I need more women and children." And then her Daddy was there and he leant down. "Where is your mother?" Eliza told him and he said he would go and hurry her up. "Don't move." He repeated to her. And she was left waiting again. And this time it was for even longer. She watched, scared, as people were running about the place and getting hysterical. Tears fell even harder, and now she started to cry. Why were her parents taking so long? "MAMA!" she cried. "MAMA!" And then he was there. Cal. He looked at her, and then started to move off, and then he turned back, and leant over to pick her up, awkwardly patting her on the back. "There, there." He said, and then he carried her to a boat, whilst she cried wondering where her mother was? "Please, I'm all she has in this world." He told the crewmen, who then waved him into the boat. As the boat was lowered she cried, and cried for her Mama and her Papa.  
  
"Eliza?" Cal's voice brought her back to the present. "Are you alright?"  
  
Eliza swallowed hard, and nodded slowly. She couldn't tell him what she had just remembered, and even if she could she didn't have the words to describe it properly. Cal had saved her life, yes, but he'd taken her without her parent's permission. They may have come back from the cabin to find her gone, and then they had drowned on the ship!  
  
"Anyway, like I was saying that was only my first thought. I am not sure what I will be doing over there, and I don't think I can have the responsibility of you also." Cal explained.  
  
'You should have thought of that before you took me off the sinking ship!' Eliza thought, but didn't speak.  
  
"So I'm going to have to leave you here." Cal said, tapping his fingers on the desk thoughtfully. "Now, I did think about what kind of work you could do? I don't want to leave you as a servant or maid somewhere, so I was wondering-how would you feel about becoming a governess' assistant and then becoming a governess yourself? You got excellent marks in all areas of schooling."  
  
Eliza struggled to bring her mind back to the present, and not to a cold April night. "A governess?" She repeated, remembering her old governess. It didn't seem like it would be hard work?  
  
"A governess." Cal confirmed. "Are you sure you're alright Eliza? You're acting strangely."  
  
Eliza took a deep breath. She realised then that she had two options. She could tell Cal what she had remembered and confront him about it and succeed in having herself turned out onto the streets with no idea about how to survive. Or she could swallow her memories, and take the opportunity that he offered? As a governess she would be able to earn her own money, and then get away from Cal.  
  
"A governess would be good sir." Eliza said. "But do you think I could do something like that? I'm not exactly...a lady sir."  
  
Cal frowned. "Eliza if I didn't think you could do it do you think I would offer? It just happens that a friend of mine has a governess who is prepared to accept you as her assistant. If you learn from her then you can be a governess yourself in a year or so. I have spoken to your headmistress about this, and she thinks that it would be a good idea also.." He looked at her thoughtfully. Why was she acting so strangely?  
  
"I would like that sir." Eliza said formally.  
  
Cal nodded, glad it was settled, and knowing that he could go off to Europe for the year knowing that she would be alright, but wondering what was wrong with the girl? She was acting so coldly and strangely all of a sudden! Thank god, he thought, he didn't have children of his own if they were so hot and cold! 


	11. 11

New York, March, 1921.  
  
Eliza sighed and pushed her long hair back out of her face. She'd never been so tired in her whole life. She'd just spent three hours scrubbing the nursery floors to the extent that she could see her weary face reflected in the shiny floorboards. She wondered whether Cal had known that her position would consist more of the jobs that Mrs. Neville, the governess, didn't want to do herself. And if he had, would he have made alternate arrangements or not? After what she had remembered about him on the Titanic she wasn't too sure what to think. She stood up, stretching her aching back.  
  
"Eliza. Have you done those floors?" Mrs. Neville asked.  
  
"Yes Ma'am." Eliza replied politely.  
  
"Make yourself as decent as you can manage-and I know that's not much!-and you can come down to the lake with the children and I." Mrs. Neville said.  
  
Eliza hurried to the small room she had been given and changed her apron, and fixed her hair. "Well it's not great, but it'll have to do." She told her reflection.  
  
The children, James and Rosemary, were seven, and five respectively, and Eliza didn't think she had ever met more spoilt children in her life. They had quickly picked up on the contemptuous way their governess treated Eliza, although they didn't understand the reason why, and acted in the same way.  
  
"Eliza, carry my ball. My arms hurt." Rosemary whined, and Eliza glanced at Mrs. Neville to see what she thought of the order.  
  
"Well go on girl!" Mrs. Neville said. And then to the children; "Can you both hold my hands please children?"  
  
The children obediently took their governesses hands, and they walked down to the lake, followed by Eliza, dutifully carrying the bright red plastic ball. As she walked Eliza decided that Cal would never have put her here had he known that instead of learning to be a governess she would be little more than a glorified maid. After all, if he wanted her to learn the job and be able to support herself, then surely he wouldn't have wanted her to be stuck doing the dirty jobs?  
  
"Eliza you walk too slow. Try and keep up girl." Mrs. Neville said sharply, and Eliza quickened her pace.  
  
At the lake James wandered along the edge, watching the ducks, whilst Mrs. Neville and Rosemary played a spirited game of ball, with Eliza fetching the ball when it went too far!  
  
"JAMES!" Mrs. Neville called sharply. "Don't get too close to the water!"  
  
"I'm alright." James called back.  
  
Eliza sighed, and wished she could just sit there and have some peace and quiet. In the five months she had been working there she hadn't had the chance!  
  
"JAMES! I warned you about getting too close!" Mrs. Neville said angrily. "If you get a foot wet I'll punish you!"  
  
James frowned sullenly. Eliza reflected that as well as being spoilt the two children didn't seem particularly happy children. But then with their parents constantly away, and the servants their only real family, who could blame them? In a way she thought rich people had their own problems to deal with, and sometimes being poor, and having a real family would be better! She remembered how happy her home had been. Even when their stomachs were growling from lack of food, and they were cold from the lack of warmth, there was always plenty of love. She sighed, and wondered whether or not her parents were looking down on her from heaven now. If they were they'd be amazed to see the person she'd become. Attending schools with rich, privileged girls, getting this position so that eventually she could become a governess herself. Her thoughts were interrupted by a cry from Mrs. Neville.  
  
"JAMES!" She cried. This time there was no anger in her voice, only bare naked fear. Eliza looked up. James had wandered around the lake to the little cove, and peering over he had fallen in, and was now thrashing about frantically.  
  
Eliza didn't hesitate. Within moments she too was around the lake, and then she jumped in fully clothed to hall the drowning boy to safety. On the banks of the lake James sat shivering and in shock. His sister was equally pale, and Mrs. Neville was ropable.  
  
"Damn you girl." She swore at Eliza. "You should have been paying more attention to him!"  
  
"I'm sorry. I was busy fetching the ball for you." Eliza said angry that the governess had blamed her, even after she had jumped into the lake and saved the boys' life! Clearly the governess was not about to jump in!  
  
"You silly, foolish thing-" Mrs. Neville continued, beginning to get worked up, but Eliza interrupted her.  
  
"-shouldn't we get James up to the house and warmed up? He'll catch cold otherwise!" Eliza said.  
  
Mrs. Neville's eyes narrowed. "Now you're going to tell me how to do my job..Come on James. Lets get you into some dry clothes."  
  
Eliza followed behind, knowing there would be hell to pay later on, even though she didn't think it was her fault, and had she not been there that the boy might have even died!  
  
*****  
  
"The mistress is quite distressed at her son's accident." Mrs. Neville said later that night. "In fact she was ready to fire you this instant, but I convinced her otherwise. I explained that even though you were clearly negligent in your duties you still did save James' life."  
  
"Negligent?" Eliza repeated, frowning. "You never told me to keep an eye on him!"  
  
Mrs. Neville snorted. "It went without saying. Let me tell you something for nothing girl-you've got a lot to learn!"  
  
Eliza didn't reply.  
  
"You may go now." The governess said, dismissing her.  
  
In her own room that night Eliza shivered remembering the close call the young boy had survived. Was the governess right about her having neglected her duty? Maybe she wasn't cut out for this kind of work? And then she shook the thoughts away. No, she told herself, she was right. It had never been her duty to keep an eye on the boy, and Mrs. Neville just didn't want to blame herself! She gritted her teeth and decided that there was no way she was going to let the woman beat her. She was determined to learn the job and become a governess and make her parents up in heaven proud of her, and also to justify the faith Cal had shown in her. She was still angry at him for what he had done, but she was beginning to realise that however selfish his motivations, had he not done what he had, she would have died on the Titanic! 


	12. 12

New York, May, 1921.  
  
"Eliza....I need to have a word with you." The mistress of the house said, startling Eliza. In all the time that Eliza had been there the mistress had not once spoken to her.  
  
Whilst the mistress was arranging herself on the chair Eliza studied her overtly. She really was a beautiful woman who seemed to look younger than she really was. The only thing Eliza believed to spoil her beauty was her cold eyes, although they were not exactly cold at the moment.  
  
"My husband and I are going over to Europe for awhile starting this summer. We're thinking it could be a year or two, and of course we need to take Mrs. Neville to look after the children, however we wont be able to take you. Times are a little tough at the moment-although I have a feeling they could get worse before they get better-and we can't afford to take every servant we own. We'll be taking a maid as well, but like I said I am afraid we won't be able to take you." The mistress explained.  
  
Eliza felt her heart skip a beat. What on earth would she do now?  
  
"My husband has been in contact with your guardian regarding this." The mistress continued. "We all felt it would be a shame to see you come this far and then not complete what you intended!"  
  
Eliza nodded. Even though she wasn't entirely happy with the jobs she got given to do by a resentful and mean boss, she knew that it would only take about six more months before she could be classed as qualified. To give up now would mean a waste of the last nine months!  
  
"Caledon, as you probably know, is still living in England, and there is no real option of you going to join him." The mistress continued. "In fact, it seems the only real option is for you to go somewhere else to work. The idea of turning a young girl like you out on the street is out of the question! A fifteen-year-old can hardly fend for herself! Therefore your guardian has entrusted me with the task of finding you another position."  
  
Eliza couldn't help but feel alarmed at hearing this! How would she know what kind of place the mistress would find for her?  
  
"Anyway it appears that you are in luck." The mistress said, smiling at her. "A friend of mine is prepared to let you live in her home and learn from her own governess!"  
  
Eliza's eyes widened. It seemed as though everything had been decided for her!  
  
"You'll begin there at the start of the month. In the meantime you'll be expected to continue your position here. I should tell you that ordinarily I might not be the type of person to help you find another position-I'm not exactly an employment agency!-however I am grateful for you saving my son's life, and I want to make sure that everything works out for you because of that!" The mistress explained. Then she handed Eliza a letter. "It's from your guardian."  
  
Eliza took the letter and went upstairs to her room to read it in private:  
  
"Dear Eliza,  
  
No doubt by the time you read this you will have heard about the plans involving your new position. I have been very pleased to receive the satisfactory reports from your boss regarding your job. I am also very pleased that she has taken it upon herself to ensure that you will be able to get a new job when she leaves.  
  
I also have to tell you that once again I am engaged. To a lovely English girl named Melanie. Once we marry we will eventually return to America to live. I hope you're pleased for me.  
  
Continue to work hard and make me proud of you. I am sure that should you continue the way you have been going you will soon be able to obtain a position as a governess.  
  
Fondly,  
  
Caledon Hockley."  
  
"Well," Eliza said out loud to herself "Since, as usual, my future has been decided for me I can only hope that this new job means I'll actually get to learn something other than how to scrub a floor. Which I think I am an expert at now!" Then she sighed. She knew she couldn't really complain, after all, as she had told herself on many occasions before-where would she be without Cal and his assistance? 


	13. 13

New Hampshire, September 1921.  
  
"Come on Eliza-come and play dolls with me!" Ten year old Jane pleaded, her big blue eyes focussing on Eliza.  
  
"Okay, we'll play." Eliza couldn't refuse the girl anything, especially when she looked at her with those eyes!  
  
As she allowed herself to be lead over to the dolls she reflected that this position was a world away from her last one. The governess was only a young woman of twenty-two who had no objection to letting Eliza learn from her. "It'll be nice to have another female around the place!" She'd confided to Eliza when she'd arrived. The children were spoilt, but at the same time they knew what "no" meant, and respected the word. At the end of the first day Eliza and the governess, whose name was Melissa, had spent ages speaking about their past. Eliza admitted her parents had drowned on the Titanic and then Cal had taken her in, but told no more than that about how she came to be the ward of Caledon Hockley! Melissa had seemed interested. "I worked for a family a few years ago-the Browns-and the mistress had actually been on the Titanic too, and survived. Did you know her?" She'd asked. Eliza had grinned for a moment, thinking how strange it would have been for a steerage passenger to know a first-class passenger! She had just shook her head. "She only ever spoke to me once about it." Melissa reflected. "She told me that she believed that they could have saved more people if they'd gone back for them earlier. I think she really regretted that." Eliza had nodded politely, but she didn't really want to talk about the ship, and Melissa sensed that, and spoke no more about it!  
  
"Jack took Molly dolly this morning." Jane said. "He hid her from me."  
  
"Did he?" Eliza said, shaking her head. "He's a mean boy isn't he?"  
  
"Yes!" Jane said definitively. "But I got her back, and I broke his toy truck!"  
  
"Jane you didn't?" Eliza asked horrified.  
  
"I did!" Jane assured her, a glint in her eyes.  
  
"You know you shouldn't do that." Eliza said.  
  
"But he took Molly dolly." Jane protested.  
  
"Be that as it may, Jack was only playing a trick on you. You'll have to apologise for breaking his truck." Eliza said.  
  
Jane pouted, but didn't disagree.  
  
*****  
  
"Eliza want to come for a walk? It's such a nice summers night, I can't stand the idea of being cooped up in here." Melissa stuck her head into Eliza's room later that evening after the children were safely in bed.  
  
Eliza didn't hesitate. "Sure, just let me get my hat."  
  
The two walked around the well-manicured gardens for awhile in silence. Then Melissa asked casually, "Have you met Tom?"  
  
"Tom?" Eliza frowned trying to place the name.  
  
"The gardener." Melissa said.  
  
"Oh." Eliza said, recalling the stocky man who was tanned from spending so much time outside in the sun. "Briefly, why?"  
  
"Well we're going to get married." Melissa admitted, and Eliza looked shocked.  
  
"I didn't even know you were-well that you knew him." She said. This was true! Melissa had never even mentioned this before!  
  
"We've known each other a long time." Melissa replied. "He wants to take me away from here-to somewhere in California. He's always wanted to live over there. He promises me the weather is a million times nicer over there!"  
  
"When are you getting married?" Eliza asked, still in shock from this news.  
  
  
  
"Not for a few months yet." Melissa replied. "I want you to be able to take over here when I leave."  
  
"Take over?" Eliza asked, shocked.  
  
"Sure." Melissa looked at her strangely. "Why? Don't you want to?"  
  
"Of course. I love the house, the children, the mistress and the master..I'm just surprised, that's all." Eliza replied.  
  
"That's why I was so happy to agree when they asked me about you coming here. I had a feeling that one day Tom might propose, and they've been so good to me here I didn't want to leave them in the lurch."  
  
Eliza nodded, still a little in shock from the whole news.  
  
"Tom doesn't want me to work when we're married." Melissa continued. "He wants me to be a proper wife, and he said no wife of his has to work, that he can support us just fine. We're going to have children of course-two I think!"  
  
"I always wanted two children also." Eliza said. "I was an only child you see and so I used to vow when I had children I wouldn't have just one so they would be lonely."  
  
"Were you lonely when you were little?" Melissa asked. "I had a brother and two sisters, so there was never a quiet moment in our place."  
  
"I wasn't really lonely. My Mama was there with me most of the time, and of course we came out here when I was nearly eight.." She trailed off.  
  
"Do you miss your parents?" Melissa asked.  
  
"Sometimes." Eliza admitted. "But because they died when I was so young I don't really remember them very well. I think about them sometimes, but I don't think about them too often."  
  
"I suppose Mr. Hockley looked after you well?" Melissa asked.  
  
"Very much so. He has been wonderful." Eliza replied.  
  
"Although you have to admit it is very strange that he would do so much for you? I mean, I am not trying to be rude here, but people who have that much money rarely think of anyone but themselves. Especially not a young orphaned girl!" Melissa said. "I'm sure people talk."  
  
"I'm sure they do too." Eliza admitted. "And you're right-Cal has done more for me than many people suspected. I think it's got something to do with Rose-his fiancée who was meant to have died on the Titanic."  
  
"Meant to have died?" Melissa repeated, picking up on the comment.  
  
"I meant died on the Titanic." Eliza replied. She didn't think Cal would want anyone to know that Rose was still alive-especially after she had chosen not to be with him.  
  
"Well Eliza," Melissa said. "You're one very lucky person. And I'm sure you're going to love being the only governess here once Tom and I leave. Oh, and one more thing-can you not let the mistress know about Tom and I? I don't think she'd approve of two of her staff being..well, she wouldn't approve."  
  
"Your secret is safe with me!" Eliza assured her.  
  
"Thank you. Now it's beginning to get a bit chilly-shall we go back inside?" Melissa asked.  
  
Eliza nodded, and they walked slowly back into the house. 


	14. 14

New Hampshire, February 1922.  
  
Eliza hugged Melissa tightly. "Make sure you write to me. I'm going to miss you dreadfully." She said in a low voice so nobody would overhear.  
  
"I will, I promise." Melissa replied. The two young women had become very good friends since Eliza had began to work there. Now that Melissa was leaving Eliza was to be the only governess, but it meant a pay raise and it also meant she was now qualified so Eliza knew it wasn't all bad.  
  
"Come on Mel, we'll miss the train." Tom said gently.  
  
Melissa sighed, and let go of Eliza. "I'll write as soon as we reach California I promise!"  
  
"See that you do." Eliza said, blinking back her tears. She didn't want Melissa to know how sad she was to be losing her. Apart from Annabelle in school Melissa had been the only friend she had really made, and losing a friend hurt her deeply. But she knew that Melissa was really in love with Tom and that marrying him and moving to California were things she wanted to do so badly. And the mistress had been very good considering she was losing two of her staff. She gave the two of them her blessing and agreed happily to having Eliza stay on as her governess. Especially considering that Jane and Jack had taken to her so well.  
  
*****  
  
Eliza quickly adjusted to being the sole governess of the two children, who were both easy enough to handle. Melissa wrote a few weeks after she had left, saying they had arrived in California and were now looking for somewhere to live. They'd married on the way. Eliza sighed when she read the letter, wondering whether one day she would be married and have children and be as happy as Melissa seemed to be! She tucked the letter into her draw along with the one Cal had sent a few weeks back telling her that he and his new bride, Melanie, were soon coming back to America and that he would make sure that they got over to where she was to say hello as soon as they got the chance. Remembering how much Amanda had disliked her Eliza had thought this was highly unlikely! Then she went to check the children were sleeping peacefully. She lingered in the doorway watching them for a moment, before heading back to her own room to go to bed when voices from the sitting room stopped her:  
  
"Caledon Hockley married again, and is bringing his new wife back over here soon." The mistress was telling her husband.  
  
Her husband chuckled slightly. "Married again? Well let's hope this one doesn't drown on a ship or die in childbirth."  
  
"Don't be cruel." His wife admonished him. "I feel for the poor man with all he's had to go through. I saw Rose once-she was beautiful and sweet. It was a tragedy that she died on that ship-"  
  
"Did you ever think much of the rumors about her falling in love with some steerage passenger there, so much so that she chose to take her chances with him rather than get in the lifeboat and marry Cal?"  
  
"I heard them, but rumors are rumors because they're untrue. Otherwise they'd be facts." His wife said.  
  
"Maybe so, maybe so." He sighed. "But it wouldn't surprise me. I mean Caledon is hardly a romantic is he? And I saw Rose's mother in New York last year-poor woman has aged a great deal since her daughter's death-and she seemed quite evasive when I asked her the question."  
  
"My gosh! You didn't actually ask her did you Richard?"  
  
"I did!" Richard replied. "Unlike you my dear I have no problems with asking the questions straight out rather than beating around the bush!"  
  
"Hmm." His wife said. "And then after that tragedy he takes in Eliza to do his little act of charity, and ends up sending her to schools to be educated and then helping her get a job in the governess profession. It does seem a little strange to me!"  
  
"What's so strange about it?" Richard demanded. "He's got enough money to take in and educate ten orphans if he wanted."  
  
"I meant that he would do that much for an orphan. At first society were all talking about how good it was and all, but they had to wonder why he would do so much?"  
  
"Its not like he sent her to finishing school and made her a debutante!" Richard argued. "He may have done more than some people would have, but the bottom line is that is all charity."  
  
"Maybe.." His wife said.  
  
"And I like the girl! She's great with the children." Richard continued.  
  
"Oh, don't get me wrong. I think she's a godsend!" His wife agreed. "I just wonder why Caledon helped her so much."  
  
"It doesn't matter. As long as she is here we don't need to question Caledon's motives do we?" Richard asked.  
  
"No." His wife sighed.  
  
Eliza sighed softly and lent against the doorframe. She knew the truth, she knew that the two were right-Cal had done more than anyone had expected when he had first offered to take her in. It suddenly occurred to her then that possibly he had done what he had for her out of guilt? After all he had taken her from her parents to help get off the sinking ship himself! Despite the fact that if he had left her on the ship she would have more than likely died he had still done the wrong thing in taking a young girl. And maybe that's why he had done so much for her? He knew what he had done was wrong? She sighed again and then went to her bedroom to go to bed. One day, she decided as she fell asleep, one day she would have to confront Cal with all this. She needed to know the truth. But not yet. She wasn't ready for it yet! Not when she was only nearly 16, and it was only ten years after the Titanic sank to the bottom of the ocean!  
  
[A/N I haven't decided yet, but I might skip a few years soon, so that Eliza is more grown up and has made her way in the world a bit more? Simply because there is only so much you can write about her learning to/and working as, a governess. Just a thought for now?] 


	15. 15

New Hampshire, May 1924.  
  
"Happy eighteenth birthday Eliza." Eliza muttered to herself as she woke up. The past two years had been spent happily on the New Hampshire estate, watching as Jack and Jane grew up. Jack was now twelve and attending the local school. Jane would be beginning come September, and Eliza knew her use was almost up. Besides, from talk she'd heard from the other servants, the family were having money troubles. Although Eliza knew it wasn't just the one family-all over the country people were having trouble with money. Cal had been to see her the other week when he was passing through, and he confided in her about his own monetary problems: "It's hard to make a buck when the whole country is down on their luck." He'd told her. "I don't know everything Eliza of course, but I have a feeling that things are not going to get better until they get worse- a lot worse! We're pinning all our hopes on the Federal Reserve, and I don't know whether it's a wise move or not!" And then he told her about how they couldn't afford to hire another maid unless they got rid of the nanny; something Melanie assured him, was just not done. "In England, where she grew up, they do everything very proper. I used to get annoyed at the way they did everything by the book, but that's just the way they are. Anyway, she assures me that young children in well off families never go without a nanny over there, even if it means the family live in hardship to do so!" Eliza had just smiled politely. In the last two years since Cal had returned to England she had seen him twice, and his wife once. She knew about the birth of their two children, Nathan and Evelyn, from the brief letters he had sent only. Of course she knew that he had a new life to go on with, and she respected that she wasn't really part of it, however for a few years Cal had been like her only family, and sometimes she missed that for what it was worth!  
  
With a sigh she got herself out of bed and went to get the children up for their breakfast. As they ate Jack told her all about the new boy at school. "His name is Jackson Calvert. His parents are famous!" To the young boy fame was a status symbol.  
  
Jane, however, wasn't so impressed. "If they're really that famous how come I haven't heard of them?" She demanded.  
  
Jack made a face. "Because you're just a silly girl." He replied.  
  
"Why are they famous sweetie?" Eliza asked. "Jane-eat all of that egg please."  
  
Jane made a face. "I don't like the yellow bits." She complained, but seeing Eliza's look recommenced her efforts in eating.  
  
"His mum's name is Rose. She is a Broadway star." Jack explained. "His Dad has directed a few Broadway plays and musicals, but he isn't really all that into the scene. According to Jackson it was his Dad's idea to move here, and his Mum wasn't too keen at first. Although when it came down to a choice between here and Philadelphia, she picked here. They want to settle down and have a family. He already has a little sister named Ruth, but his Mum has always said they want to have more children than that!"  
  
"I want thirteen children." Jane spoke up, and Jack gave her a scornful look.  
  
"You couldn't afford thirteen children baby!" He told her. "And besides, the stork doesn't like to deliver lots to the same house!"  
  
Eliza hid a smile. "I think it's wonderful that you want lots of children Jane." She said.  
  
Jack made a face. "You would." He muttered.  
  
"What?" Eliza asked, taken aback by his tone.  
  
"I just meant that all girls are that silly." Jack explained, and Eliza laughed.  
  
'Pity it had to be a twelve year old boy who noticed!' she thought with a grin. Whilst she didn't exactly mind the fact that she didn't have any friends in the area-male or female-sometimes she wished that she could have someone special. All throughout school everyone had spoken of getting married and having children as if it were the only thing to do. Of course, Eliza had realised, for the girls who she went to school with, it really was the only thing to do. There was no way they would ever work like she was! But would she ever get married and have children like them?  
  
*****  
  
"Eliza, I was wondering whether I could have a quick word." The mistress asked, poking her head into the room where Eliza and Jane were playing with Jane's enormous dolls house.  
  
"Sure, Jane, you keep playing while I speak to your mother okay?" Eliza asked.  
  
Jane nodded, not taking her eyes off what she was doing.  
  
Outside the mistress smiled at Eliza, a little uncomfortably. "Jane seems so happy lately. And so does Jack-he must be happy at school."  
  
"He loves it!" Eliza confirmed. "Every day when he comes home we here all about it."  
  
"That's good to hear." The mistress said. "I have to admit I was a little concerned that I was sending him to school too early when most other children spend another year or so with their governess."  
  
"Jack has a lot of fun there, and he is learning a great deal." Eliza assured the mistress, who smiled slightly.  
  
"I'm glad about that of course." She said. "The thing is Eliza, money is rather tight at the moment, and when Jane starts school in a few months there won't really be very much for you to do around here.."  
  
'Here it comes!' Eliza thought with an inward sigh. Not that she was surprised of course; it made perfect sense.  
  
"...I don't want to have to do this, but we really won't require your services after September." The mistress concluded.  
  
Eliza forced a smile. "I understand." She said, and while she did it didn't mean that the idea of being without a job and without a home didn't fill her with fear!  
  
The mistress smiled too. "I'm glad there are no hard feelings about this." She said. "And at least you've got some time to work out what you're going to do in the future."  
  
*****  
  
"Dear Cal,  
  
I hope you are well. I have been enjoying my working here, but there is now a catch. In September Jane will be attending school and therefore there is no real need for me after that. I understand this with and have no hard feelings whatsoever. I am thinking of going to New York to see whether or not I can get some work there now that I've had a few years experience in the job.  
  
Yours fondly,  
  
Eliza."  
  
Eliza sighed, as she put the letter in the envelope. She knew that she shouldn't really be asking Cal to help her out again, but it wasn't like she was going to rely on him. She was perfectly happy with the idea of going to New York to find work if Cal had no ideas about other families who needed a governess. 


	16. 16

Philadelphia, September 1924.  
  
Eliza hesitated before going in. It had been just over four years since she had been inside this house, and whilst the outside façade remained unchanging Eliza knew that there were more than likely a lot of changes inside.  
  
Taking a deep breath she went to open the door, but it was opened, and she had to jump back to avoid being hit by it.  
  
"Hello. Miss Eliza I presume?" An elderly man with an English accent asked.  
  
Eliza nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry, I don't believe I know you?" She asked.  
  
"Mr. Jackson. The Hockley's butler." The man said, drawing himself up as he spoke, alerting Eliza to the fact that he took his position very seriously indeed.  
  
"Well Mr. Jackson where is my guardian? I assume he's expecting me?" Eliza asked.  
  
"He is in his study awaiting you. He was hoping you would arrive earlier so that he would be able to go for a walk with his wife and the children, but not to be helped is it?"  
  
Eliza shook her head, and walked down the hallway to Cal's study. As she walked her eyes darted around the house. The dark colors, such as reds and browns which seemed so rich and powerful to her when she first arrived back in 1914 were gone. Instead they were replaced with soft, pastel colors, all of which screamed of a feminine influence. The thought made Eliza smile; maybe Cal had changed a little over the past few years, because the old Cal wouldn't have let anyone change anything. He thought his house was distinguished looking, and wouldn't want anyone to think anything else. Eliza bit back her smile as she knocked on the door of Cal's study. There was the rustle of papers before his gruff "Enter!"  
  
Eliza opened the door and slipped inside.  
  
Cal stood to greet her, shaking her hand briefly. As she shook his hand Eliza was studying him. Whilst his hair revealed more than a few grey hairs, and the lines around his face showed he was no longer a young man his eyes were brighter than the usual middle aged mans. And, she realised, he looked happier than she had ever seen him!  
  
"Welcome home Eliza, you've grown up since I saw you last. How long ago was that now?" He asked, sitting back down.  
  
Eliza sat down herself. "It was April, not that long ago." She said.  
  
"April? My, how time flies." Cal said reflectively. Then he shook his head, to get his mind back to the present. "Well Eliza I am sorry that I wasn't able to secure you another position at the moment. Money is beginning to be a little scarce-although it's hardly cause for alarm. And any of my friends who could afford a governess already have one, or have no need for one."  
  
Eliza sighed to herself. She too had spent time looking for work. Every Sunday the paper from New York advertised positions, but she'd had no luck.  
  
  
  
"So, what I thought when I sent for you to come here, was that you could stay here until you find something." Cal said.  
  
Eliza raised an eyebrow. "And what does Melanie think of this?" She asked.  
  
Cal looked a little shocked at her question. "What?" he asked.  
  
"I know Amanda was not exactly fond of me being here, so I wondered whether or not Melanie had any similar problems with it." Eliza replied candidly. But she wasn't a child anymore and had no reason not to express her feelings. "I don't want to cause any problems between you two."  
  
Cal hastened to assure her that she was not causing any problems. "Melanie thinks what I've done for you is a wonderful thing. She was more than agreeable to you coming back here." He told Eliza, but his eyes didn't quite meet hers, leaving her to wonder whether Melanie had been 'more than agreeable' at all.  
  
"And the children will enjoy having another person to play with. Nathan turned two the other month, and Evelyn is one in a month or so. They're gorgeous children Eliza. It's funny you know." here he mused more to himself than to Eliza. "if someone had of told me I'd love my children like I do, I'd have thought they were crazy. When Rose and I used to speak of children, and she'd say she wanted a big family I used to think about hiring governess' and nurses and not seeing the children more than possible. It was the same with Amanda, but it's different now, with Melanie. I love spending time with the whole family, and I've realised how rewarding it is to see them walk, hear them talk.."  
  
Eliza didn't speak. She didn't want to interrupt his reverie, but he was over anyway.  
  
"Anyway Melanie is out with the kids. They went for a walk. When they get back I can introduce you all properly. And I'm sure you noticed the butler?"  
  
Eliza nodded.  
  
"An old English idea, but it helps Melanie feel at home. That's why I let her redecorate also!" Cal explained.  
  
"It looks very nice." Eliza said politely.  
  
"Yes, well." Cal shrugged. "Decorating was never my thing. Nor was it my Father's either."  
  
Eliza nodded again, lost for a response to that comment.  
  
Cal sighed, and stood up. "Anyway your room is ready for you. I'm putting you back in your old room so that you can begin to feel at home as soon as possible. If you want to go up and rest, or freshen up, I'll send one of the maids up to get you later?"  
  
Eliza nodded, and stood up. She was a little stiff from the long journey, and the idea of a rest appealed to her greatly.  
  
"Oh, and Eliza?" Cal asked on her way out. "Did you hear about your old schoolfriend Annabelle?"  
  
"No, what happened to her?" Eliza asked.  
  
"She got married last month. It was the largest wedding I've been to in many years. A marriage of convenience if you ask me, but Annabelle seemed to be happy enough." Cal said.  
  
Eliza sighed, as she went up the stairs to her room. More than likely Annabelle's parents, worried that their daughter might be an old maid, had made what they thought was a suitable match. And Annabelle generally let them get their way with things! Eliza opened her door and looked into her room. A warm feeling came over her as she realised that this was where she considered 'home.' Maybe she didn't have a conventional home, but she had something, and that was more than she could have hoped for her if Cal hadn't taken her in after the sinking. Many, many times she'd thought of what would have happened to her if Cal hadn't offered to take her in. With a little yawn, she flopped down on the familiar bed, and was soon asleep. 


	17. 17

[A/N. I've skipped a few years here since Eliza came back to Philly, but I'll try and explain what's been happening in Eliza's life since she returned as best I can.]  
  
Philadelphia, October, 1928.  
  
Eliza sighed as she heard the loud yell. "NATHAN HOCKLEY! You come here this instant!" She knew what would soon follow that yell. For a small woman Melanie sure had a big voice Eliza thought wryly. And she wasn't afraid to use it. Over the past few years on a few occasions Eliza had been on the receiving end of one of Melanie's temper tantrums, but for the most part Melanie treated her politely, yet usually aloofly. Her attitude towards Eliza was generally as if she believed that the younger girl was some kind of lady's maid Eliza often thought. Once, when she had been answering some of Melanie's letters for her the scenario occurred to her of Melanie as a queen and Eliza as a devoted lady-in-waiting.  
  
"ELIZA!" Melanie now yelled, and Eliza sighed, and got up off the chair where she had been sitting reading a novel before she heard Melanie's first yell. She didn't seem to get much spare time when Melanie was there, so she enjoyed greatly that which she did get. The house seemed a lot quieter when Melanie was off on one of her many trips. She got restless in Philadelphia she claimed, and Cal, for the sake of peace and quiet perhaps, allowed her to travel whenever she liked. Eliza knew Cal loved Melanie greatly, she could tell that by the way he looked at her and the affectionate words the two exchanged often, but she also got the impression that sometimes he wished he was a bachelor again. Times like now, for instance?  
  
Melanie was standing in the entrance hall, one hand grasping her son's arm. Nathan was now six, and according to Cal "a handful", and according to Melanie "naughty." Eliza would never admit it to either of them, but sometimes she found the numerous pranks Nathan pulled quite funny.  
  
"Ah, there you are. You won't believe what the naughty little brat has done now." Melanie said, glaring at her son, who lowered his head, seemingly ashamed. But Eliza saw his eyes twinkling as they peeked up at her. "He filled Mr. Johnson's boots with.I hate to say this..with manure!"  
  
Eliza bit her lip desperate to keep her laughs from exploding.  
  
"And you can imagine the shock poor Mr. Johnson got when he put the boots on!" Melanie continued.  
  
Eliza could imagine only too well. The sight of prim and proper Mr. Johnson stepping into boots full of manure made her want to scream with laughter. She knew on occasions that Cal had appeared to be angry with one of Nathan's stunts, but in the privacy of his study he had laughed about it. Melanie, however, didn't laugh.  
  
"And what did he have to say for himself when found out?" Melanie asked. "At first he tried to blame Evelyn-like a five year old would think of that- and then when he realised he had no excuse he simply said he thought it was funny!"  
  
"Well it was funny and-" Nathan began, but his mother interrupted him.  
  
"NATHAN!" She cried. "Heavens above. You know Eliza all I ever wanted was a husband and a few nice, well-behaved children. Well brought up children who would act like other children of their class, and instead I get this..this." and here words failed her.  
  
Nathan looked up at his mother's upset face. "Mother I didn't mean to upset you. I know how to behave. Truly I do. You see me at Church! I just wanted to have some fun. I was bored. There aren't any children round here my age, and I'm not at school.."  
  
Melanie sighed. "Can't you have fun by behaving Nathan? Evelyn does." She asked.  
  
"I'll try Mother. Honest I will." Nathan assured her, and Melanie sighed again, and then gathered her son into her arms for a hug.  
  
"I was going to get Eliza to punish you, but maybe you've learnt your lesson this time." Melanie said. Eliza felt relieved-she hated being made to punish the children, although they never held it against her. To them she was like a big sister, although they knew that her parents had died on a ship and Cal had taken her in. And Nathan had once hinted at the fact that he knew she wasn't a "real lady", although this made no difference in their feelings towards her.  
  
It was now that Cal arrived home from work, and Nathan ran from his mother's arms into his father's.  
  
"What's my little hell-raiser-" Cal began, but his wife interrupted him.  
  
"Don't swear Caledon!" She said.  
  
"Right." Cal said. "So, what's my little mischief maker been up to?"  
  
"I put manure in Mr. Johnson's boots, and it was so funny. He was hopping round on his stocking feet and then he-" seeing his mother's look he stopped and then said "But I've learnt my lesson and won't do it again."  
  
"Have you just? Well, we'll see." Cal said, and Eliza noticed a muscle twitching near his mouth as he tried not to laugh.  
  
"Well Eliza since you don't have to punish Nathan perhaps you could do something for me?" Melanie asked. "Since we had to get rid of another maid I've been having trouble having the sewing kept up to date. There is a huge pile which desperately needs doing."  
  
"Sure." Eliza sighed, thinking of her novel abandoned in the chair.  
  
*****  
  
Later that night Eliza heard Cal and Melanie talking, and it seemed Melanie wasn't very happy.  
  
"Cal we really can't let another maid go." Melanie was saying. "As it is we've only got a cook, butler and a few maids. I remember a few years ago when a family of the standing of this one had a lot more servants than that."  
  
"A few years ago there weren't money problems across the country. If you're thinking of how it will look to all your friends Melanie don't, because ten to one they're in the same boat. In fact I know many of my business partners are!" Cal said.  
  
"Nonetheless." Melanie said. "I mean Eliza almost takes the place of a maid. She looks after the children, helps me out with my letters and sewing and other such things. I suppose she's a lot better off than most maids though!"  
  
"Eliza's not a maid." Cal said absently.  
  
"I know that. You made it clear to me Cal. She's your ward, your responsibility. I understand all that, but now, with money being so tight and all people will be shocked that you chose to keep her here and allow others to be sacked." Melanie said.  
  
Eliza felt herself cringe a little. She wondered whether people were shocked about that? It did seem strange when Melanie put it that way!  
  
"Let them be shocked." Cal said brusquely.  
  
"Indeed." Melanie agreed. "I'm not asking you to make her leave-god knows where would I be with a maid being sacked, and without Eliza to do things for me also!"  
  
"I was speaking to Rockefeller today. He seems to believe that the Federal Reserve is getting worried about the high level of the stock market. They think that the bubble might burst and that the country will realise the financial system is insolvent and that the network of financial intermediation might very well be damaged, investment might lower, and the country might fall into a recession. According to him, and this is on the quiet of course, the Federal Reserve are trying to "cool off" the market by making borrowing money for stock speculation harder, and more expensive by raising interest rates. It's a risk of course since the increase in interest rates may bring on the recession that they are hoping to avoid by "cooling off" the market." Cal said.  
  
"Honestly dear you know I have no idea what that means-other than to back up your point about letting the maid go." Melanie said, with a sigh. "I'll speak to her tomorrow shall I?"  
  
"It would be advisable." Cal replied.  
  
Eliza decided that eavesdropping was not ladylike, and went up to her room. But she still thought about what Cal had said: it sounded like money was tight everywhere, even for the people who had more of it than they knew what to do with, like Cal. This made her appreciate even more what Cal had done for her, and was continuing to do for her. 


	18. 18

Philadelphia, June, 1930.  
  
"I guess she's going to just be an old maid." Melanie said. "Twenty-two and not married."  
  
"It's a shame. She is a nice enough girl. I think her mother would realise that there is no chance of her getting married if she's stuck at home looking after her." Melanie's friend agreed.  
  
'Great!' thought Eliza, as she poured both women's tea. 'I'm twenty-four, so what does that make me?'  
  
"Thank you Eliza." Melanie said, giving her a quick smile. "Do you think you could get started on that cleaning?"  
  
"Okay." Eliza replied, and she left the room.  
  
"I guess you're lucky that Cal took her in all those years ago so you get help around the house now, with nobody really able to afford help anymore." Melanie's friend said.  
  
"Yes, I don't know what I'd do without her. Sometimes Cal gets annoyed at me for having her do things, telling me she's not a servant here, but I don't think I've really any choice about it." Melanie agreed.  
  
Eliza sighed and went to begin the cleaning, wondering when money was going to become less scarce. They were down to a cook, a maid, and a butler. And for the large house with a nine year old boy, a eight year old girl, and a two year old girl, as well as two adults, it wasn't much! But from what she had overheard between Cal and his business partners and other men things weren't going to pick up soon. The crash of the Wall Street market the year before had been catastrophic! Only the other night Cal and his friend, Mr. Morgan had been discussing it in the study, and as Eliza took their drinks in she had heard Cal say, "The only thing I can think of J.P is the damn Federal Reserve not being so stubborn! If they would pursue a monetary expansion on policy we can stimulate the economy through lower interest rates, and hopefully increase the stock of money in circulation!" His friend had agreed with him. "I agree Caledon, but I think the reason they're holding off is simply because the market interest rates are already so low that they think there is no real need to pursue an expansionary monetary policy!" "Damn fools! The banking sector is going to be in big trouble!" Cal had replied.  
  
As Eliza scrubbed the floors she contemplated this. She didn't understand the business talk of the men, but she knew enough to know that even Cal was in real trouble. Like many all over the country, both rich and poor, Cal had purchased stocks because he was certain of the money, however he'd lost pretty much all of them, and from the talk around the house she'd heard, she also knew that he had been hit hard by the depression when it came to his business. And the fact that Melanie was making do without many servants told her that things were very serious indeed!  
  
*****  
  
"Eliza?" Evelyn asked later that night. Eliza was in her room reading and the younger girl was at her door.  
  
"Yes Evelyn?" Eliza asked.  
  
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" '  
  
"Of course. Come in." Eliza said, noticing that the young girl seemed very serious and grown up. Evelyn entered the room, and sat down on the bed next to Eliza, who absently played with the young girls long black hair.  
  
"I've been hearing things about Daddy having no money anymore. Are we poor?" Evelyn asked.  
  
Eliza sighed, wondering whether she was really the right person to answer this! "We're not as poor as many." She said diplomatically. "You see sweetie, the country is all in the beginning of an economic recession. We don't know how long it will last or how bad it will get. But we do know that we're not the only ones. Because your Daddy had a lot of money before it happened it means he is better off than lots of people though."  
  
"Nathan told me that we'll have to live in a tent!" Evelyn said.  
  
"Nathan is lying." Eliza promised the young girl. "Your parents would never live in a tent believe me."  
  
"Daddy isn't very happy anymore is he?" Evelyn asked.  
  
Eliza frowned. She'd noticed that whenever she spoke to Cal he seemed distracted and short with her, but he'd always managed to smile at her. "Why do you say that sweetie?" She asked.  
  
"I saw him in his study the other day and he was crying!" Evelyn said, her eyes wide. "Daddy never cries."  
  
"Everyone cries sometimes." Eliza disagreed, but privately she was shocked at the young girl's words. If Cal had been crying things were a lot worse than she had ever realised!  
  
"So we're not going to have to live in a tent?" Evelyn asked.  
  
"No sweetie." Eliza assured her. "We're not going to have to live in a tent. It just means things are going to be a little different around here. You've noticed we don't have many servants anymore right? Well that's because we can't afford as many, although the ones we do have at the moment are working for less money than they used to. And instead of getting toys all the time, you might not get them as often."  
  
"But I like getting toys!" Evelyn protested.  
  
"I know." Eliza said. "And your parents like giving you them. The simple fact is that not many young children will be getting lots of toys anymore. Remember this Evelyn-it's not just us. It's everyone."  
  
Evelyn sighed, and got up from where she'd been sitting. "Thank you Eliza." She said gravely.  
  
"You're welcome." Eliza replied, and Evelyn left the room, leaving Eliza to her own thoughts. 'Cal was crying!' She thought. 'Good god, things are not very bad around here!' And unfortunately, unlike Evelyn, the thought that the rest of the country was in the same boat didn't comfort Eliza! 


	19. 19

Philadelphia, December, 1930.  
  
"Cal!" Eliza said jumping. "I didn't even notice you there!" She'd been sitting in front of the window in the living room staring out into the white winter outside. She had been bundled into her clothes, trying to ignore the bitter cold which had penetrated the big house. Cal didn't light the fire very often because the price of wood, kindling or coal had practically tripled in the last few months. But then, so had the prices of pretty much everything. Instead of the lavish meals they'd always been used to they made do with two courses. Instead of the life of luxury they had always lived, they made do without many luxuries. Eliza remembered only too well being even poorer than this, and she coped with it well enough. Each day in the papers there were more and more tragic stories, and more and more unemployed searching desperately for work to keep their families alive. And Eliza thought that they should be grateful that they still lived in the large house, and still lived in relative comfort. But to Melanie and Cal, who had been raised with extreme wealth, and knew no different it was bound to be harder!  
  
"Sorry. You looked like you were in another world." Cal said, with a slight smile.  
  
"I was." Eliza admitted. "Cal, do you think there would be anywhere I could find work as a governess? I know I haven't done it for a few years, but I've been looking after the children here, so I haven't lost my touch."  
  
Cal sighed, and leant against the doorframe, his hand in his pocket. "I don't know Eliza. I know most of my friends couldn't afford a governess at the moment, and we're still wealthier than most.although I suppose people like JP, and the Guggenheim family still have a lot of money." Cal shrugged. "Why?"  
  
"I just thought that if I could get a position it might be a help on you. I know I'm only a burden here and I thought-"  
  
Cal interrupted her. "I know where you got the impression you're only a burden, but she's wrong." He assured his ward. "In all honesty Eliza I feel like you're part of the family now."  
  
Eliza smiled, her eyes teary. "Thanks." She said simply. "Cal?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"How bad off are we?" Eliza asked.  
  
Cal sighed again. "We're pretty badly off Eliza. I've lost my entire business. I've lost millions. I'm not saying we're the worst hit-a lot of people have nothing at all. I've seen the tent cities starting to spring up in places like New York, and I swore to myself that we would never, ever, be in that position."  
  
Eliza didn't know what to say in the face of this naked honesty. Instead she got up, and muttered about getting the mending done that Melanie had asked her to do.  
  
"I'm sorry about Melanie getting you to help her out." Cal said, sounding sad. "But she was brought up having to do absolutely nothing for herself. She didn't learn to sew or anything at school like you did."  
  
Feeling sorry for him Eliza assured him she didn't mind, that she wanted to help out as much as she possibly could!  
  
*****  
  
"DARN!" Eliza said out loud, about forty minutes later. She'd run out of white cotton, halfway through sewing Nathan's socks. He went through socks like nobody's business. 'I'll have to go ask Melanie if I can use another color!' Eliza thought, standing up and stretching her aching back. It seemed like her back had been hurting forever, but she knew it was only the last year or so, ever since the Depression had begun.  
  
She went to find Melanie, noting that the house was unusually quiet for that time of afternoon. The children had adjusted to not getting everything they wanted, and although they still sometimes complained, they generally made their own fun. Before the winter had began Eliza saw they spent most of their time outside where they could run around and enjoy themselves on the large estate.  
  
Before she could find Melanie she heard her. And something in her tone stopped her. 'You've been making a habit of eavesdropping lately Eliza!' Her conscience told her. 'Shut up and let me listen! The only way I ever hear anything is this way since nobody wants to talk to me like I'm their equal!' Her mind argued.  
  
"Caledon, Father said he will wire the money over for me and the children to sail over there. England have been hit by the depression of course, but not like it is here yet. He's still able to afford this easily. I'm sure he'd send the money for you too, but we both know that you're too proud to accept charity. But the children and I are going." Melanie said.  
  
Cal's voice was soft. "Eliza won't go on a ship." He said.  
  
"Because of the Titanic. I know." Melanie said. "But I wasn't planning on taking her. Father couldn't afford her ticket as well. And besides didn't you always say she was your responsibility not mine?"  
  
Cal was silent for a long time. "She is my responsibility yes, but over the years I've grown to feel like she is my daughter."  
  
"Ridiculous." Melanie said. "She's a third class orphan you took in because if you didn't everyone was going to know your little secret. Caledon Hockley being bribed. Who would have ever thought?"  
  
Eliza felt her mouth dry up. What secret?  
  
Cal's voice was angry. "I thought we agreed not to talk about that. I thought we both agreed to act like I had done it on my own free will."  
  
"Charity." Melanie said. "Listen Cal, this isn't important now. What's important is I plan to take the children back over to England until things get better here. We can't live in these conditions. I gave Mr. Johnson his notice today, and the look on his face broke my heart. He's like part of this family, and now he's going to be lining up in those huge lines every day trying to find work? Things here are so bad I can't bear it!"  
  
"Melanie I know things here are bad." Cal replied. "But you can't leave. I need you. I need my children."  
  
  
  
"Then come with us darling!" Melanie said. "Father will be more than prepared to let you work with him if that's what you want."  
  
"I can't run away!" Cal said, his voice breaking.  
  
"It's not running away, it's being smart." Melanie said.  
  
"I can't!" Cal replied.  
  
"Suit yourself. But we're leaving at the end of the month. You can come, or you can stay here and join us later. Or you can wait till things get better and we'll be back here." Melanie said.  
  
"I can't believe you'd leave me. I thought our vows said for better or for worse!" Cal said.  
  
"I'm not doing this for me. If it were just me I'd stay here, with my husband, where I belonged. But it's not just me. We've got children we have to think about Cal!" Melanie said. "They'll be better off over in England until things get better here."  
  
Cal said nothing, and Eliza heard Melanie sigh, and then she heard the sound of Melanie's feet as she walked towards the doorway and where Eliza was standing listening. Taking a deep breath Eliza turned and raced away. Back in her room she threw herself on her bed. What was going to happen? Would Cal leave with Melanie and the children and would Eliza be thrown out onto the street? And then her mind went to what Melanie had said about her- she said Cal had been bribed into taking her in so that nobody would know his secret? He'd been bribed? She thought he'd taken her in out of the goodness of his heart, or at the very least because he was feeling guilty over using her to get off the sinking ship, but it seemed she was wrong. That night, she cried herself to sleep. What was going to happen? 


	20. 20

Philadelphia, January 1931.  
  
"Nathan Hockley-what on earth are you thinking? I asked you to make sure you did the packing today so we'd be ready to leave first thing in the morning." Melanie cried, as she stepped into the nursery. Eliza, who was in the dining room adjoining cleaning up, poked her head into the other room. Nathan was sitting amidst toys and clothes, and Melanie was standing over him glaring.  
  
"I don't wanna' go!" Nathan pouted. "I wanna' stay here with Daddy."  
  
Melanie bit her lip, and then knelt down beside her son. "Oh baby, I don't want to leave Daddy either, but trust me-this is the best thing to do. And Daddy will come over to England soon enough trust me." She didn't sound entirely confident here, but her son seemed to believe her.  
  
"What about Eliza then?" Nathan sniffed. "I want Eliza to come over with us."  
  
Melanie sighed. "Nathan honey you know Eliza's not really part of the family, and we simply can't afford to take her with us. She'll be fine."  
  
Eliza quickly withdrew her head to continue her cleaning. The atmosphere in the house the last month had been awful. Cal clearly didn't want his wife and children to go, but Melanie was insistent-for the children she kept repeating. Evelyn was young enough to see it all as a big adventure, but Nathan however, wasn't so sure. On more than one occasion he'd said to Eliza that he was sure his Daddy would change his mind and not let them go. As it got closer to the time to leave his hopes were diminishing. Eliza hadn't really seen Cal much. When he was home he was mostly in his study either with friends drinking, or drinking alone. As for Eliza she was worried about what would happen to her, but she knew if the worst came to the worst and she was left alone eventually she'd be able to get a job as governess, or failing that a maid or housekeeper.  
  
"Eliza?" Melanie called, and Eliza sighed, and rubbed her back as she went out into the other room.  
  
"Can you make sure that Nathan packs his things? He's being a brat about it." Melanie said, giving her son an exasperated look.  
  
"He's scared." Eliza replied before she could help herself, and then she wished she could take the words back.  
  
"Scared?" Melanie repeated. "What makes you say that?" Her tone was cold, and Eliza knew she might have overstepped the mark a little.  
  
"He's just scared about the whole thing. He's seen and heard a lot about this depression, and he doesn't know what's going to happen to him and his family." Eliza explained.  
  
"Has he told you this?" Melanie demanded.  
  
"Yes." Eliza said. "He and Evelyn both have questions about things they see or hear."  
  
"And you answer them?" Melanie asked, her eyes narrowing.  
  
"As best as I can." Eliza replied a little confused as to where this was going.  
  
"Perhaps it would have been better had you sent them to me to ask their questions." Melanie said. "Sometimes Eliza I get the impression that you think you're actually part of this family."  
  
Eliza felt her face redden, but she'd grown up a lot in the last few years, and at nearly twenty-five she didn't like being treated like a child. "With all due respect Melanie your children came to me instead of you because they didn't think you'd tell them the truth. And if we're being completely honest here you're not exactly the sort of person who would encourage a child's questions." She snapped.  
  
Melanie's eyes widened now and her lips thinned. "That's quite enough rudeness for one day." She said coldly. "It's just a pity you chose now to be so rude because I am sure that Cal will be joining us as soon as possible and you'll be left out on the streets where you should have been a long time ago. I have been more than kind in letting an orphan live in my home with my family-"  
  
"-Your home?" Eliza asked. "It's Cal's home!"  
  
"More than kind!" Melanie repeated. "And this is how you repay my kindness?"  
  
"Kindness?" Eliza repeated. "Granted you've never been excessively mean or rude to me, but you've treated me as a servant and let me do your dirty work-"  
  
"-And if Cal hadn't taken you in do you think you'd be any better off?" Melanie interrupted. "If I'd insisted he make you leave, do you think you'd be any better off?"  
  
Eliza didn't reply. She felt bad about the confrontation, but in all honesty maybe it had been building up to this after the market crash the other year and the chores that Melanie had been making her do.  
  
"You know I actually thought it was funny that Cal was blackmailed into keeping you, but when I realised he actually began to think of you as part of the family I thought it was a little strange. I know society think it strange you're still here all the while praising the charity of the Hockley's mind you, but I wonder what they'd say if they knew the truth- that the charity act was more of a blackmail act!" Melanie said, half to herself.  
  
Eliza felt her lips dry up. "Blackmail?" She repeated.  
  
"That's right. Cal didn't want you to know, but after your attitude today I want you to realise that Cal is not doing this because he cares about you or anything-even though perhaps he has gone over the call of duty if you ask me, and probably the government-but he is doing this because he was told he had no choice." Melanie said. "When Cal saw you crying on the deck of the Titanic he decided that you could be his ticket to survival. He picked you up, and he took you over to the crew member who was loading the lifeboat, and he said to him that he was all you had in the world, and he got on that boat, and you both survived. Back in New York the government were getting lots of different information on events that night and they were about to begin an enquiry into it-a huge affair it was. It was in all the papers, and the final report was enormous. Anyway basically it was said that Cal's actions aboard the ship-including snatching you-would be overlooked in the whole enquiry as long as he took you in. And since the enquiry was going to be such an important thing there was no way Cal wanted society to know what he'd done. Including the fact that he framed a young third class man for robbery in order to have him locked up in a sinking ship. Including the fact that he was responsible for the death of Rose. Including the fact that he refused to let drowning, freezing people onto the lifeboat. Including the fact that-"  
  
"I don't want to hear anymore!" Eliza screamed. "You're lying!"  
  
"Am I?" Melanie asked with a slight smile. "I don't think so. Over the years Cal's told me these things. I guess they've been on his mind and he wanted to make peace?"  
  
"And Rose isn't dead." Eliza said, wanting to wipe the smile off the woman's face.  
  
"I'm sorry?" now it was Melanie's turn to look shocked.  
  
"I found Cal once crying over an advertisement for a play she was appearing in." Eliza said. "And if you go and look in his top draw in the study you'll find many other articles and clippings about the stunning Rose Calvert or Rose Dawson as she used to call herself."  
  
Melanie was looking pale, but she still managed to speak "Ha! Spying on my husband! Wait until he hears this-he's bound to throw you out on the street where you've proven today that you belong. I suppose I could expect no less from someone of your...class.."  
  
"I didn't find them. Your precious Mr. Johnson did. He found Cal drunk in his study, and he had a photo of Rose in his hand, and the draw was open. He mentioned it to me because he wanted to know if I knew who the woman was, and why Cal would be acting like he was. I told him I had no idea mind you." Eliza replied.  
  
Melanie stared at her for a moment, and then turned to walk out, but stopped to say one last thing "I hope you enjoy your life in the streets. Because I'm sure that soon enough my husband will realise that he misses the children and me too much and will come over to England to join us. In fact, I predict that within a month he'll be sailing over, and you'll be alone. And who knows what will happen to you then?"  
  
  
  
After Melanie left the room Eliza dropped her head into her hands. What on earth had gotten into her arguing with Melanie like that? More than likely Melanie would be now filling Cal's ears with how rude and ungrateful Eliza was, and telling him that he must get rid of her. Although she would be leaving for England in the morning, and wouldn't know if she stayed on. But then Eliza thought about what Melanie had told her about Cal? If it were true, then she must leave as soon as possible! 


	21. 21

[A/N. I realised that I've only been putting the month instead of the day of the month, but I don't think it really matters. The only reason I've got the day here is because I wanted to make sure people knew it was only just after Melanie and the children had left. I also know that this chapter is fairly small, but I think the next one will be fairly big!]  
  
Philadelphia, January 12, 1931.  
  
Eliza sighed, as she tucked her feet up under her to keep warm. The winter seemed colder than any she had experienced, but she knew that this could possibly be more in her mind than anything. She thought back a few mornings before when Melanie and the children had left for England and Cal had suddenly decided to see them to their ship in New York so he could do some business there at the same time: He told Eliza she could remain in the house with the cook and the maid until he returned. She'd thanked him, and then asked how long he'd be in New York for, and he'd shrugged. "I'm not sure. A few days, a week or two. I don't really know at the moment Eliza." Eliza had taken a deep breath. "Cal, when you get back I want to speak to you about something." She had said. Cal had sighed deeply. "I thought you might want to. I've spoken to Melanie. She's far from impressed about me letting you stay here, but that's her problem. Regardless of anything she may have told you Eliza I really do view you as part of the family now.." Eliza had smiled weakly. Was that an admission of guilt? Had he really been blackmailed into keeping her? Before she could say anything else Melanie and the children had come into the hallway. The children had been sad to say goodbye to her, but Melanie had simply looked at her, and said nothing.  
  
  
  
Eliza knew that Melanie and the children had sailed on the fifth and therefore Cal would conduct his business and return soon. And even though the look on his face and his brief comment had all but confirmed the truth of Melanie's words she still needed to hear it from his mouth before she left forever.  
  
"Eliza?" The maid was in the doorway. "Are ya' hungry? Cook's made a stew and it'll warm ya' insides!"  
  
Eliza sighed and stood up nodding. "I am hungry actually."  
  
*****  
  
"Did ya' hear something?" The maid asked suddenly, pausing in the middle of eating her stew.  
  
"Hear something? Like what?" The cook demanded.  
  
Eliza had also heard something, and she got up and went to the front door. A cloud of dust was making it's way up the driveway, and as it got closer Eliza realised that it was a car speeding up the driveway. It came to a stop before the front door and a young man in a dark suit got out, and took his hat off to her.  
  
"Are you Eliza?" He asked.  
  
She nodded, not sure what was going on.  
  
"Miss Eliza, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there has been a terrible incident. Caledon is dead." The man said, coming closer to her.  
  
Eliza stared at him. "Cal? Dead? He can't be dead! He's in New York doing business and he'll be back any day." She told the strange man.  
  
The man looked sad. "I wish I could tell you that you're right. But Caledon killed himself the other day." He said. "Mrs. Hockley and the children were on their way to England when the news reached her, and the children are being sent on to England in the care of someone, and she is coming back here for the funeral before joining them. The thing is Miss Eliza, we want to make sure you remain here for a few days. I'm here on behalf of Mr. Hockley's lawyer, and Caledon specifically requested that you remain for the reading of the will."  
  
Eliza nodded numbly. She was in shock. Cal had killed himself? And before she even got the chance to find out what had happened aboard the Titanic. Suddenly she realised that even if he had been blackmailed into taking her into his home he had done far more than he needed to, and when he said she felt like part of the family he wasn't lying to her. A few tears escaped her eyes, but she brushed them back. The chances were she'd need her strength in the days to come-especially when Melanie returned home soon. 


	22. 22

Philadelphia, February, 1931.  
  
Eliza heard the car pull up out the front, but she didn't jump up straight away, knowing only too well who it would be, and how unimpressed that person would be to see her. Eventually though she knew she would have to go downstairs, so she took a deep breath and went down.  
  
Melanie was standing in the entrance hall, her face hidden by a large black hat, but by the way she was standing Eliza got the impression she was lost in memories of happier times. Suddenly she looked up and her eyes met Eliza's.  
  
"So you're still here?" Melanie asked coldly.  
  
"I was asked to stay until-"  
  
"I know, I know-you're meant to remain here until the will is read. I don't see why since everything is being left to the children and I. Maybe Cal wanted you to have the time to find a new position-have you been looking?"  
  
"Yes, but there don't appear to be many jobs for governess' at the moment." Eliza said.  
  
"Hmmm. Well you'd better find one soon." Melanie said. "Now if you'll excuse me I think I might go lie down, I've had a very hard few days since Cal..died.."  
  
Eliza thought about the words of the lawyer's assistant the other day-why on earth had someone like Cal killed himself? Many people would love to have lived the life he had lived. A huge house, a large fortune, a few businesses, a lovely looking wife and children.  
  
"Eliza?" Melanie asked, as she started up the stairs. "I just want you to know I'm sorry about our argument before. I don't normally argue with people like that-I've been well brought up."  
  
'And I haven't?' Eliza wondered, but she nodded. "That's okay Melanie. I'm sorry too." She said, a little insincerely, but Melanie didn't know.  
  
*****  
  
Eliza leant against the window, looking outside as Melanie left for the funeral. Cal's funeral. Cal-the only person who had ever really felt like family to her since she was six. Eliza had assumed that she would be able to attend the funeral, but Melanie had looked at her in despair.  
  
"You can't come. You simply can't come!" She'd said, tears falling down her cheeks. "Do you have any idea how strange society think it is that you're still here? That Cal is treating you as part of the family? At first they thought he was doing a wonderful, charitable thing, but then they started thinking it was a little strange. And if you come to the funeral they'll talk even more. I know they're already talking about the fact that Cal killed himself-he doesn't need to have them talking even more."  
  
So not for Melanie's sake, but more for the sake of dead Cal, Eliza decided not to attend the funeral. She'd go to the grave another time soon and go and tell him why, he'd understand.  
  
*****  
  
"Eliza?" The maid popped her head into the room. "Are ya awake? Melanie and Cal's lawyer is downstairs and they want ya t'come down for the readin' of the will."  
  
Eliza sat up, and rubbed at her eyes. She hadn't even realised that she'd fallen asleep! "Already? The funeral's just finished."  
  
"She wants to get it over and done with and get over to England." The maid explained. "And they asked me t'come and fetch ya down."  
  
Eliza sighed, and stood up, straightening her skirts. "Fine." She said, and they went downstairs.  
  
Melanie and the lawyer were sitting in the study. Melanie turned red-rimmed eyes on her. "Eliza. Sit down so we can get this over." She ordered.  
  
Eliza did so.  
  
"Now then?" Melanie asked the lawyer.  
  
"Okay, well as you may or may not know Caledon came to see me the day before you and your children sailed-" The lawyer began.  
  
"Yes, he mentioned something." Melanie replied. "He said it was no big deal though."  
  
The lawyer frowned slightly. "That depends on what you mean by no big deal." Hr said. "Caledon added something into his will the other day."  
  
Melanie looked shocked. "Added something? Whatever are you talking about?" She demanded.  
  
"Let's see. Now as you know Caledon has left his estate to his children, however he wants you to be in charge of it until they each reach the age of twenty-five, whereupon they receive 20 per cent each. The remaining was to be left to you for your own use with Caledon suggesting that it would be left to the children when you died correct?"  
  
"Correct." Melanie said. "It's all very straightforward. I mean sure the business things I can't understand, and all but that's why you're here right. All I know is that I am in charge of it all until the children receive their percentages, and the rest is mine after they've received theirs."  
  
"Well as I said, Mrs. Hockley, this was what it said. Until the other day, when Caledon came to me and altered it." The lawyer said.  
  
Melanie's jaw dropped. "Altered it? I don't believe it. Why would he alter it? And why wouldn't he tell me?"  
  
  
  
"I don't know." The lawyer admitted. "But alter it he did. So yes, the children still receive their 20 per cent each when they come of age, however it has been added that Caledon Hockley would like to ensure that Miss Eliza also gets 20 per cent when she turns 25 in a few months. The remainder will go to you as per previously."  
  
Melanie glared at Eliza for a moment, and then turned back to the lawyer. "There must be some kind of mistake here!" She snapped.  
  
"There is no mistake, I can assure you. This will is perfectly valid, perfectly legal." The lawyer said, seeming a little annoyed at Melanie's doubting him.  
  
Eliza, however, was still in shock. Cal had put her in the will? Cal had left her money? Why?  
  
Now Melanie turned back to Eliza. "I don't know how you got him to do this!" She said angrily. "But I can assure you that I'll fight this with everything I've got. We'll go to court if we have to-"  
  
"Mrs. Hockley there would be no point in going to court. You won't win. Miss Eliza is entitled to her 20 per cent." The lawyer said coldly.  
  
"NEVER!" Melanie yelled. "Look at her! She's an orphan who Caledon was bribed into taking in, and she's still here. I don't know what power she had over Cal, unless she seduced him or something, I wouldn't put her class above it-"  
  
"Mrs. Hockley get a hold of yourself." The lawyer said, shaking his head. "I'm sure this girl seduced nobody, and even if she had, she will still get what has been left to her in the will. This document has been signed, and witnessed and it is completely proper."  
  
Melanie shook her head, but she didn't speak. She seemed in shock. Eliza also was silent, as the lawyer went into other details, but neither woman took much notice.  
  
"And also, Caledon left this letter for you." The lawyer said, and he handed something to Eliza who took it silently.  
  
Melanie glared at her. "I want you out of here now." She said. "You might get money for now but you are not welcome in this house."  
  
Eliza nodded. "I'll pack my things and leave." She said.  
  
"Your things?" Melanie asked, her eyebrow raised. "Things my husband bought you and things you can't keep and-"  
  
"Mrs. Hockley." The lawyer shook his head. "You're not acting like a lady at all. The girl's things are not important to you surely?"  
  
Melanie nodded. "Fine. Take your things. Just leave please. I don't want to see you."  
  
The lawyer looked at Eliza kindly. "You'll have to make sure to let me know where you are so when it's your birthday soon you can get the money left for you." And he held out his card to her.  
  
Eliza took it, and muttered a thank you.  
  
Up in her room she looked around. The room seemed like home to her, and the idea of leaving it did upset her, but at the same time Eliza knew that even if she were to remain here it wouldn't be the same without Cal. No, the best plan was to go to New York and make her own way. She had the money she'd saved up from when she was working as a governess in New York and New Hampshire since when she was living with Cal and Melanie she had never needed the money. And hopefully this money would last her until she got another job, or until the money from Cal would come through. Thinking about this made her frown: why had Cal left her anything? She sat down on her bed, and opened the letter. Cal's normally neat writing was messy and erratic.  
  
Dear Eliza,  
  
I am writing this letter knowing that you'll be reading it very soon. I know it might seem cowardly but I can't live anymore. I've lost both my businesses, and a lot of my money. I've lost my wife and children-despite her words I see it in her eyes-I know she wants to remain in England, regardless of whether I want to or not. But the worst thing I've lost is my self-respect.  
  
I can tell you all this now, since when you read this it won't matter anymore. When I saw you crying on the Titanic that night so long ago my first thought was that you could be my ticket to survival. Surely they wouldn't let a child get in a lifeboat knowing that there was nobody else for her. I took a risk and it paid off. I have to confess once aboard the Carpathia I didn't even think about you. It wasn't until I had a meeting in New York that I thought of you. The meeting ended with me being bullied into taking care of you. I decided that taking in an orphan was not a very high price to pay for my actions aboard the ship being kept secret. You know about how much I loved Rose, but what you don't know is that Rose fell in love with someone else on the Titanic. A man named Jack Dawson, a third class man. I was furious of course, believing that Rose belonged to me and me only. And so I lied and Jack was arrested for stealing. I was sure that he would drown on the ship, locked below deck. But I underestimated Rose. She went looking for Jack, and she rescued him. I wanted to kill them both, but I couldn't. Instead I turned my back on them, and it was then that I saw you, and we got into the lifeboat. In New York I listened hopefully for news of Rose's survival, but there was none, and it seemed that my beloved Rose had drowned with him. I think perhaps it was then that I realised how much I had loved that woman. So when they told me that I had to take care of you so my actions on the ship would remain secret I took you in. And in my mind I thought how Rose would be so proud of me. It was exactly the sort of thing she would have wanted to do. Spoilt and rich as she was, she had a conscience. Of course it wasn't until much later I found out that she wouldn't be up in heaven watching me, as you well know, but nonetheless I know she'd approve. I look at the pictures of her in the paper-she retired from Broadway a few years back to have a bigger family, but after a miscarriage the doctors said she couldn't have any more children, and then she went back to the stage. (I know this because I've made many inquiries about Rose Calvert, but to my knowledge nobody else knows who she is.)  
  
I wanted you to know the truth about how I didn't just offer to take you in. I'm sorry if it hurts you to know the truth, but know this also Eliza: to me you're one of my family. I feel the same way about you as I do about Evelyn. I've known you for nineteen years, and you can't know someone for nineteen years and not care about them a little, can you? I know Melanie and some of our friends wouldn't understand that, but I don't care.  
  
I'm leaving you something Eliza to make sure you're taken care of, since I know Melanie wouldn't look after you nor help you, and also so you will know that I am sorry for never telling you the truth, and what I did to you when you were six, and so that you'll know that I really mean it when I tell you I care about you as if you were my very own daughter. Rose and mine's daughter.  
  
Love forever,  
  
Cal."  
  
Eliza wiped tears from her eyes as she finished reading the slightly incoherent letter. 'Oh Cal, I do forgive you, I do!' She thought, hoping he would know this.  
  
*****  
  
"You're leaving now?" Melanie asked, as Eliza stopped in the hallway with her two suitcases filled with her most important possessions.  
  
"Yes." Eliza said. "I've called for a cab to take me to the station and then I'll go on to New York."  
  
Melanie nodded. "Fine. Goodbye."  
  
Eliza took a deep breath. Part of her felt sorry for the obviously distraught Melanie ('Oh Cal, she wouldn't have not come back to you-look at her and know!'), but the other part of her was upset about the way Melanie had acted.  
  
"Goodbye." Eliza said simply.  
  
"I'm seeing another lawyer in New York to see whether or not I can challenge the will, so don't expect the money yet." Melanie said.  
  
Eliza didn't reply, she just went outside to the waiting taxi. As the taxi drove off she looked out through the back window at the place which had been the only home she really had ever known. And even though Cal had never treated her as a real daughter the knowledge that she had been important to him made her feel a lot better. She'd miss him. With a sigh she turned and faced the front. The house, and Philadelphia, and the Hockley's, were all in her past now. In fact it was now that her life was really going to begin- she was all on her own now. In charge of herself. 


	23. 23

New York, July 1931.  
  
"Eliza, you going out again?" The lady, who owned and ran the small boarding house where Eliza had been living the last few months asked her, as she entered the front room, dressed in her best. "Another interview?"  
  
"I've actually got a meeting with some lawyers." Eliza said. "Although I wish it were a job interview.." She had been living hand to mouth the last few weeks as the money she'd saved from her last two jobs dwindled. Mistakenly she had thought she'd get a job soon enough, but despite a few interviews she had yet to get one. New York was filled with people who were looking for work. The depression was still influencing everything. And as Eliza lined up with hundreds of other people for every little job she knew that really she was lucky so far. Some of these people were living in shacks, and the shantytowns which had sprung up on the banks of the river. Some hadn't eaten in days. Some were dressed in their best, which wasn't even as good as Eliza's worst. But the thing that shocked Eliza was that despite the desperate conditions they never gave up hope.  
  
"You do realise your rent is due on Thursday I hope?" The lady asked, watching Eliza carefully.  
  
Eliza wilted. "I know." She whispered.  
  
The lady sighed, and leant over her desk. "Look Eliza you've been an ideal guest here. You've always paid me on time, you've never given us any trouble, never even bought a man back here like some of the floozies do. I'll think of something to work it out if you can't afford it."  
  
Eliza smiled weakly. "Thank you very much Mrs. Hays."  
  
Mrs. Hays smiled again. "Eliza, did I ever tell you about my husband?"  
  
"No." Eliza said, her eyes showing her confusion. Despite the fact that Eliza had been living there since she'd arrived in New York a few months back the landlady and her had only ever had a polite relationship.  
  
"Charles." Mrs. Hays said with a smile. "Charles was president of the Grand Trunk Railway before he died. We had a lot of money, perhaps more than we knew what to do with..but that's beside the point. Charles died on board the Titanic Eliza."  
  
Eliza stared at her in shock. Mrs. Hays was surveying her thoughtfully, watching her reaction. "The Titanic?" Eliza finally repeated. "How tragic."  
  
"Tragic, yes." Mrs. Hays nodded. And then she decided to take pity on the young woman. "It only occurred to me the other day who you actually were- Caledon Hockley's ward. I remember seeing a photograph of you only four years ago when the newspaper were doing an exclusive with "Philadelphia society", and you were in the background of the photo. We all thought so much of him for taking you in you know. Although I have to admit people were shocked that he sent you to school and things like that, but even so they all praised his generosity."  
  
Eliza opened her mouth to tell Mrs. Hays she shouldn't be so proud of Cal, but Mrs. Hays went on before she could.  
  
"If I had of been less devastated by the whole thing perhaps I could have done something like Cal. But he was far braver than I. Far, far braver. After the whole incident I was a mess. I spent months crying, before I realised I had to live my life still. And so I came here and I opened this place. The point, Eliza, is that I don't need the money. I have more than enough. So if you can't pay me all the time, I'm not going to throw you out on your ear."  
  
Eliza was stunned. "Mrs. Hays, I can assure you that I'll pay you for everything." She said.  
  
Mrs. Hays waved it off. "When you can dear, when you can." She said. "I always thought Cal was a nice young man, it shocked me to hear of his passing."  
  
"It shocked me." Eliza admitted.  
  
"Yes, I was speaking to an old friend the other day, Rebecca, who's married into the Guggenheim family, and she was the one who told me it all. Actually come to think of it, maybe she's the reason I recognised you. She was speaking about the funeral, and she said something about Cal's ward not being there, and queried what she-you-would do now." Mrs. Hays said. "It's good to see that Cal helped you enough so you've got the skills to get a job to support yourself."  
  
"Yes," Eliza said with a sigh. "If he hadn't taken me in then I don't know where I'd be now. He treated me very well, like I was actually someone-"  
  
"-Someone?" Mrs. Hays cried indignantly. "You are someone dear, everyone is. Something I learnt from the Titanic tragedy-in my mind there is no first class, no third class, only people. If only everyone else had learnt the same lesson mind you." She chuckled. "You could imagine the shock of society when I decided to open this place. But I decided I didn't care-I wanted to help people somehow."  
  
Eliza smiled again. "I admire you for that Mrs. Hays." She said. And she did. Having been seen, as only a third class orphan in the eyes of many of the first class hadn't really bothered Eliza-she knew it was true- but she was still impressed by this woman. She was well aware that many members of society, even those struggling under the depression, would never be able to see her as anything near an equal. Even now she could remember the taunts of the girls at her first school, and the cruelty of Cal's wives towards her. More than likely the other members of society would have behaved the same.  
  
"Yes, Rose would have been proud." Mrs. Hays said with a sad smile.  
  
Eliza wanted to ask about Rose-she'd heard the tone in Cal's voice when he spoke about her and known that he regretted how he'd treated her and that he'd lost her, and assumed she must be wonderful. But she'd never heard anyone else mention her. Whenever members of society were visiting Cal's place she'd kept out of the way simply because she knew it would seem strange to them if they saw her wandering around looking like she was at home, and would talk about Cal for it, even though of course, they were unlikely to speak of Rose now. But, Eliza realised as she glanced at the clock, there wasn't time for that now: she had to get to the lawyers.  
  
"I don't wish to be rude Mrs. Hays, but if I don't leave now I'll be late for my meeting." Eliza said.  
  
"Oh silly me keeping you when you've got places to go." Mrs. Hays laughed. "Best run along then dear-and Eliza, for a third class orphan as everyone called you, you've certainly grown up into a nice young woman!"  
  
Eliza smiled at the kind words, and hurried out onto the street. As she made her way uptown she reflected on what she had just learnt. 'Fancy that!' She thought with a grin. 'Mrs. Hays lost someone on the Titanic too, and she knew who I was-about Cal. And she didn't think it all strange that Cal helped me like many people did. She thought it was nice, and charitable. I guess there are some members of society who are all right after all!'  
  
*****  
  
"Ah, Miss Eliza, how have you been since we saw each other last? Four months wasn't it? Time flies doesn't it?" The lawyer asked, as Eliza was shown into his office. She glanced around out the corner of her eye-it seemed some people had escaped the depression-at least thus far!  
  
"Four months, yes." Eliza replied.  
  
"There you go..." He mused. "And how are you? Are you working?"  
  
Eliza shook her head. "I've applied for jobs of course, but it seems like I'm competing against the whole city!" She said. "It's terrible to see the country like this."  
  
"Isn't it?" The lawyer said. "Of course you must think me hypocritical sitting here in this office, saying that."  
  
"Oh no." Eliza assured him.  
  
"We've all been hit-just some people worse than others." The lawyer said, with a sigh. "Some people much worse..."  
  
Eliza didn't know what to say, so she said nothing.  
  
"Well Eliza I've been communicating with Mrs. Hockley these past few months. At first she was adamant about you receiving nothing, about fighting the will, however she has come around. She realises that there is nothing that she can do about this all. And, as I told her, society think very highly of her late husband for taking you in, so they'd think even more of her if she helped you out after his death. The story she is intending to tell is simply that she knew you meant something to Caledon, and therefore she wants to make sure you're all right. She doesn't wish for anyone to know that Caledon left you money in his will, because then society will be sure to think it's strange for Caledon to leave money to an orphan who he simply took in...." He trailed off to look at Eliza.  
  
"I can assure you that I will not speak a word of the truth to anyone." Eliza said. "If Melanie wants everyone to think she was being as charitable as Cal, then fine. They'll think that."  
  
The lawyer smiled in relief. "Thank you for being so understanding." He said.  
  
When Eliza left the office about half an hour later she was almost fifteen thousand dollars richer. The lawyer had shook his head at the sum, if it weren't for the depression he claimed the figure would be closer to a million, but Eliza knew that fifteen thousand was a lot more than many people had, and certainly more than anyone like her-a Swedish born, orphan who had come to America with nothing, not even her parents!-would have! As she walked back downtown towards the boarding house a smile lit up her face. Maybe things would be all right for her. The last few months had made her doubt that she could even be a governess, and survive on her own, but now she changed her mind. She'd be all right. And as usual she had Cal Hockley to thank. He really had done more than she could ever have expected of him, even in death. 


	24. 24

New York, August, 1931.  
  
"Another day, another job interview, and chances are another rejection." Eliza muttered to herself, as she walked towards the place specified in the paper. "But then maybe I'm being a bit ambitious in applying for positions I am..." But she knew that this didn't matter too much now that she had the money. Now she could be a little more selective and apply only for the positions she wanted. Not like many of the other people who were so desperate they would apply for anything. She stopped out the front of 124 88th Street, and checked the add in the paper she held in her hand. This was the place by the look of it. But she was surprised not to see the usual long line of applicants. With a shrug, she took a deep breath and went inside.  
  
In the hallway three other women sat, all older than Eliza. One had to have been about fifty, the youngest was perhaps thirty-five. Eliza smiled politely at them. "I guess we wait here?" She asked.  
  
The oldest one snorted. "Great, a genius. We all better be worried girls."  
  
The others laughed, and Eliza felt her face redden. Nonetheless she sat down on the empty seat, and smoothed her clothes.  
  
"Listen why don't you go home to Mummy and Daddy and leave a job like this for people who really need it?" The oldest woman asked Eliza.  
  
"What's to say I don't need this job also?" Eliza asked calmly.  
  
"Oh come on child-how old are you anyway eighteen, nineteen?" The oldest woman asked.  
  
"I'm twenty-five." Eliza said. "And I don't actually have parents. They died when I was very young, so really, I need this job as much as any of you do!"  
  
The younger of the three women snorted. "So what did you do? Steal those clothes? Because let me tell you girl, you look like a little rich girl."  
  
Eliza didn't reply. Instead she sat there in silence. The three women resumed their discussion, and soon enough the oldest of the three was called in for her interview. After she'd gone the younger of the three said to the other "I hope she doesn't get this job-for the sake of the children mind you. Imagine having a bitter, sour woman like that in charge of children." "Yes, she does seem pretty unhappy." The other woman replied.  
  
Eventually it was Eliza's turn to be interviewed. She was to be interviewed by both a man and a woman.  
  
"Sit down, please sit down." The man offered, and Eliza sat down, trying not to be too nervous.  
  
"So, tell me Eliza-have you worked with children before?" The man asked.  
  
"Yes, after school I obtained a position in New York, working under a Mrs. Neville where I began to learn to be a governess. I was there for about five months. When the family left for Europe I then obtained a position in New Hampshire, where I worked for a further three years before the children both began to attend school and I was no longer needed. I then returned to Philadelphia, and spent the next seven years working for my guardian and his wife, as a maid and governess. However after an unfortunate accident my guardian is dead, and the others have returned to England." Eliza said.  
  
"Good, good." said the man. "You said your guardian correct?"  
  
"Yes Sir, my parents died when I was only six." Eliza explained. "I was fortunately taken in by a rich man as an act of charity."  
  
"So you're an orphan then?" The woman said thoughtfully. "I guess that would mean you'd be able to understand how it would feel to be an orphan."  
  
Eliza hesitated. Sure there had been times when she thought about her parents, but because Cal was looking after her so well she hadn't really ever felt like a complete orphan. Except, of course, when she thought about how the rest of the society viewed her. "Yes. Yes, I do." Eliza said.  
  
"Well Eliza, we'll be letting you know soon whether or not you get the job. If you do get it you'll be expected to move in here and begin straight away." The man said.  
  
*****  
  
"How do you think it went dear?" Mrs. Hays asked that night. Ever since she and Eliza had spoken about the Titanic they'd gotten on a lot better.  
  
"I don't know. "Eliza admitted. "I've been through so many interviews I don't have a clue anymore."  
  
Mrs. Hays smiled. "Well something will turn up soon enough dear, I'm sure of it." And then she frowned slightly. "I was speaking to a friend the other day, and you won't believe this, but apparently Melanie Hockley has a new man in her life. And with Cal dying only in January!"  
  
Eliza frowned, but decided to be as polite as she could. "Well Melanie's the sort of person who needs a man in her life." She said with a sigh.  
  
"Maybe so, but society are talking." Mrs. Hays said.  
  
"Society always talk." Eliza said bitterly.  
  
"Indeed, indeed." Mrs. Hays agreed. "I usually ignore the whole gossip thing, but I thought you might be interested in knowing this."  
  
"Hmmm." Eliza replied.  
  
*****  
  
"ELIZA!" Mrs. Hays called. "There is a man at the door for you dear!"  
  
Eliza frowned, wondering who on earth the man could be, and hurried down the stairs. "Yes?" She asked the young man.  
  
"I've come with a message from the New York State Orphanage on 88th street. You've been given the job to run the orphanage." He said formally.  
  
Eliza stared at him in shock. She hadn't really thought she was qualified to be in charge of forty orphans, but obviously she was! "I have?" She asked. "I've been given the job?"  
  
"Yes..." The young man said, looking at her strangely.  
  
"YAY!" Eliza cried, and then she hugged him briefly, and then hugged Mrs. Hays who was laughing at the girl's antics. Finally, something had gone right for her! 


	25. 25

New York, July 1931.  
  
Eliza sighed as she sat down in the comfortable chair in her office. This was the time she liked most-when the orphans were in bed asleep and she could think. Sometimes she wondered whether she'd bitten off more than she could chew since the thirty-five orphans currently at the orphanage could sure be a handful. But then when she saw them smile happily at her she realised that what she was doing wasn't just a job, it was something important. Like her, these children had no family, and eventually they would be turned out of the orphanage and ordered to make their own way in the world. So despite the many complaints of the orphans Eliza insisted on teaching them various lessons for at least four hours a day. No doubt they'd be at a distinct disadvantage when they left the orphanage and competed against other people who may have been to school, and had families to help them out, but if Eliza could help it they were going to be at more of an advantage than other orphans in the cities orphanages!  
  
Eliza sighed again and reached for the paper. As she flipped through it a familiar picture caught her eye. Melanie Hockley had wed again in Edinburgh, Scotland, and was planning on making her home in the family estate of her new husband, in the Scottish highlands. Reading the description of the estate and the various homes Hampton Scott Wiltshire the Third owned Eliza couldn't help but feel a little bitter. People like Melanie always seemed to land on their feet.  
  
"Miss Eliza?" A voice at the door asked.  
  
Eliza folded the paper and turned around. "Emma, you should be asleep by now." She said gently.  
  
"I was." Emma said. "But I had a nightmare!" And now her lower lip trembled and tears brightened her eyes. She was one of the prettiest of the orphans, a ten year old with large brown eyes, and shiny black hair. Her mother had been an actress who had fallen pregnant when she was in the middle of her career and had not wanted a child to burden her, so Emma was left in the hands of the state.  
  
Eliza sighed and held out her arms for the small girl to run into. "What was the dream about?"  
  
"Well I was sixteen and they made me leave here and because of the depression I couldn't get a job, and I had to live in a cardboard box and I was hungry and cold..." Emma said, sniffing.  
  
"A cardboard box?" Eliza repeated with a slight frown. "What made you think about of that?" Although she had a fair idea.  
  
"Molly." Emma admitted. "Molly says we'll all live in cardboard boxes, or we could live in a tent thing by the river, but she says the men there are bad and they might take advantage of us. What does that mean?"  
  
"It means nothing." Eliza said. "Molly is just making things up-as usual." Molly was almost fifteen, a rough looking girl, who had spent almost thirteen years in the orphanage. Not only could she be a bully, but she also had a tendency to make things up, which Eliza could imagine would be only natural if you knew absolutely nothing about your own parents! Nonetheless she was constantly having to punish Molly for causing trouble of some kind!  
  
"Molly says that when she gets out of here she is going to go and find her real mother. She thinks that she is a princess in Europe somewhere!" Emma said. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to be a princess?"  
  
"It would." Eliza replied. Last week Molly had been convinced her mother was a famous singer, this week a princess. What next?  
  
"Miss Eliza when are we getting new clothes? My dress is getting old and Molly says that it is going to fall apart one day. I don't want it to just burst in front of everyone!" Emma asked.  
  
Eliza sighed. With the depression still continuing the orphanage was existing on only the barest of funding. The number of unemployed and homeless went up almost daily, and only the very rich were still able to continue living somewhat according to their standards! Some, like Cal, had made unwise investments and lost a lot, others hadn't. But the majority of the country was suffering. Still, Eliza reasoned, they were a lot better off here in the orphanage than many others. They had some sort of shelter, some sort of heating, and some sort of meals.  
  
"I don't know Emma." Eliza admitted. "Now how about you get back to bed and get some sleep? In the morning I'll have to have another word to Molly about scaring people with her silly tales."  
  
*****  
  
The next day Eliza took Molly out of the dining room whilst the rest of the girls were eating their small portions of porridge.  
  
"Molly, I had Emma in my office last night because she had nightmares about having to live in a cardboard box! I wish you'd stop telling the children these kind of things!" Eliza said.  
  
Molly glared at her. "Why not? It's true ain't it? I saw in the papers, and I've heard on your radio when you don't know I'm listening! The depression is going strong and who knows what's going to happen to us when they make us leave here? We'll probably die! Most people have no jobs and no money. Lot's of people have no homes and no food. If you want them to think life is all rosy fine. But I think they should be prepared for what's going to happen to them once they're out of here!"  
  
Eliza ran a hand through her hair. In a way Molly did have a point, but not when it came to ten year old girls. "Regardless of how you feel Molly I'm in charge here and I've had about as much as I can take of your behavior. Clearly punishing you doesn't work anymore. The next time you act up I am going to speak to the board and ask for you to be moved to another orphanage. So please behave!" She said. She hated being strict on the girls, but sometimes she really had no choice!  
  
Molly frowned, and then turned and walked back into the dining room, and Eliza hesitated before following her. So began another day at New York State's Orphanage on 88th street.  
  
  
  
  
  
[A/N. I know I haven't updated for awhile because I've been working the last week for ten hour days..yuk! I don't know much about when the depression began to get slightly better, but I am assuming that after two years or so it wouldn't be turning the corner yet? And just a quick question-does anyone know how to have bold, italics or underlines in their stories on here? I've tried doing them in my word document before uploading it, but it doesn't seem to work! ] 


	26. 26

New York, October, 1931.  
  
"It's like this," Mrs. Hays explained to Eliza one evening in Eliza's study. "The fear of being caught in a devaluation has driven international capital flows down, and brought down the interwar gold standard. Why just last month Britain abandoned the gold standard! If the gold standard was still functioning reasonably well impulses like this would have been dampened by the credibility of the commitment to gold and by international cooperation. But there is no international cooperation and thus it is impossible for any country-including ourselves-to fight the depression within its borders."  
  
Eliza frowned, trying to understand, but Mrs. Hays saw her blank look and laughed.  
  
"I was like that as well. I had dinner with the Morgan's the other night and of course the talk was all centered on the depression." Mrs. Hays said. "Basically I get the impression that there is no country left to help us out of the depression! Everyone is in the same boat as we are."  
  
Eliza sighed, and leant forward to pour herself another cup of tea. "Well I hope something happens and we turn the corner soon. Do you have any idea how hard it is running this place on virtually nothing?" She asked.  
  
Mrs. Hays smiled tightly. "Not exactly, although I'm on a strict budget myself with the boarding house!"  
  
*****  
  
The next morning was the weekly inspection for the orphanage. Eliza had all the orphans dressed up as nicely as she could, and made sure they were all clean. "Now, you know the drill children." Eliza said as the doorbell rang. "We have to behave or else we might lose some of our money, and you know how bad that would be!"  
  
Emma put her hand up. "Miss Eliza?"  
  
"Yes Emma?" Eliza asked.  
  
"If they get mad and take away the money will we all be thrown out onto the streets and have to live in cardboard boxes?" Emma asked.  
  
Eliza smiled weakly. "I've told you Emma we won't have to live in a box." And she glanced over at Molly whose expression gave nothing away. Honestly, Eliza thought as she went to answer the door, Molly was more trouble than she was worth!  
  
"How are you Miss Eliza?" The man asked as Eliza opened the door. "It's beginning to get cold already. What's the bet we're in for a colder winter than usual?"  
  
"I hope not Mr. Peterson!" Eliza replied, frowning. With limited funds reaching the orphanage coal was a luxury, and it was more common place for the orphans to have a brick heated in the fire and then put in their bed for a little while before they got into it!  
  
"Well let me check the children quickly." Mr. Peterson said. "I've got to get over to two other orphanages this morning!"  
  
It was a quick check which basically consisted of seeing that the orphans weren't being mistreated (it wasn't all that uncommon for the person in charge of an orphanage to beat the children), and that they were living in some kind of decent standards with the little money the state could give them.  
  
After it was over Mr. Peterson nodded to Eliza. "They seem to be in good nick-at least as good as we could expect under the circumstances. I almost forgot to tell you this-a man will be arriving tomorrow probably accompanied by one of us-and he wants to look over the place. He's thinking of making a rather large donation to the state for our orphanages. So if it is at all possible can you make sure the children are as well presented as they were today?"  
  
Eliza sighed, and agreed.  
  
[A/N. I realise this is a shorter than usual chapter, but you'll see why eventually. Trust me!] 


	27. 27

New York, October, 1931.  
  
"Why do we have to do this again?" Molly grumbled early the next morning as Eliza was supervising the children in washing their faces and hands. "We had to do it yesterday when baldie came. I hate him. He looks so superior and smug all the time!"  
  
Eliza grinned. "Well at least you've learnt some new words to describe people from those lessons you complain so much about Molly." She said. "And we have to do this so that the rich man who is visiting today will hopefully give some money to the state for our orphanages."  
  
"Ha!" Molly snorted. "If he gives the money do you really think we're going to see one cent of it? They'll probably spend it all themselves!"  
  
"We have to have hope Molly. When we don't have hope we don't have anything." Eliza said absently. The last two and a half months had been both the hardest and the most rewarding in their own respective ways. At the same time as being grateful for having the job when many people had none, Eliza hadn't realised how tiring the job would be. In her previous positions as a governess they had also been 24 hour jobs, but instead of there being only a few children here there were thirty-five! However when one of the orphans learnt something new, or did something else they were proud of Eliza knew her job was rewarding.  
  
"Right, and maybe the rich man will come along and adopt one of us, and take us to their huge home and give us everything." Molly snorted.  
  
"You never know!" One of the younger girls said. "It happened to Little Orphan Annie!" The comic strip staring the young orphan girl had first appeared in the Chicago Tribune in 1924, and was still going strong. Molly, or one of the older children read the cartoon to those who still couldn't read, and even the ones who could read it for themselves often gathered around to here the adventures.  
  
"That's made up dummy!" Molly said with a contemptuous look at the child.  
  
"Alright enough!" Eliza said, deciding to stop Molly before she got out of hand. "If we want to believe that could happen we can. If we don't, if we want to believe something else, we can."  
  
The doorbell rang then, echoing through the place. "Okay children, down the front and line up." Eliza instructed. When they were in place Eliza smoothed back her hair which was tied up in a bun, and fixed her dress before answering the door. She knew only too well how desperately the state, and indeed the orphanages, needed the money, and was determined to give out a good impression to the rich man.  
  
"Ah Miss Eliza," Mr. Peterson said jovially. "Long time no see."  
  
"Not long enough." Molly muttered, but Eliza's sharp ears caught it, as well as the sniggers of some of the girls. If Mr. Peterson heard it he didn't mention it!  
  
"Miss Eliza I want you to meet Mr. Gracie. His father, Colonel Archibald Gracie, and himself are considering giving some money to the orphanage." Mr. Peterson said formally. "Unlike many of us in this great country their business interests have not been hit by this terrible depression and they feel it is only their duty to give something to those less fortunate. And, as the Colonel repeated to me on many occasions "Children are our future" hey Edward?"  
  
Eliza now turned to look at the other man. He was standing next to Mr. Peterson with his hat in his hand, his dark hair shining. He was dressed in an immaculate business suit, and during Mr. Peterson's obviously rehearsed speech he had been looking around the foyer of the orphanage. Now he turned and smiled slightly at Mr. Peterson, his lips curving only slightly. "Indeed, indeed." He said clearly having no idea of what Mr. Peterson said. Mr. Peterson for his part also knew his speech had been missed and was somewhat miffed.  
  
"Yes, well, Miss Eliza how about a tour for Edward?" He asked stiffly.  
  
Now Edward Gracie turned to look at Eliza, and a strange expression crossed his face. "Miss Eliza?" He said thoughtfully. "Have we met somewhere before?"  
  
Eliza shook her head. "I doubt it sir." She said.  
  
"Where are you from? I mean, other than New York?" Edward demanded.  
  
Eliza wanted to say Sweden and therefore we could never have met. Instead she sighed and said "Philadelphia."  
  
"Philly?" Edward nodded. "I was brought up there. Where abouts did you live there?"  
  
Eliza wished he would drop it. The last thing she needed was an interrogation by some spoiled, arrogant rich boy. "I lived with my guardian, Caledon Hockley." She said.  
  
"Ah," Edward said with a funny look on his face. "Cal's ward. Of course." And then he turned back to Mr. Peterson. "Shall we get on with this? I've a few rather important things to do today."  
  
Eliza bristled at the tone of his voice. Now that he knew she was only an orphan herself he wasn't interested in her. Not that she wanted him to be interested mind you-not such a spoilt, snobbish man. No man of decent breeding would be interested in her, and she well knew it. The best she would ever do in life was to marry the milkman who had twice professed his love for her since she'd started there. At first she'd laughed at his antics privately, but now she was beginning to wonder. Sure it wouldn't be a life of luxury, but having lived the first six or so years of her life in conditions similar to those of the depression she knew she could cope. By wishing a rich, charming man would come and sweep her off her feet Eliza knew she was only dreaming. Things like that didn't happen to people like her.  
  
"Yes," Eliza said, coldly. "We've got important things to do today, so we best get this over with."  
  
Mr. Peterson gaped at her and frowned.  
  
Edward Gracie however laughed. "Right, well lead on then MISS Eliza." He said.  
  
The tone in his voice when he said Miss made Eliza want to smack the impertinent creep, but she thought of the orphanage and managed to be polite. Later when the orphans were talking about the visit they all agreed Edward Gracie was a snob of the worst kind.  
  
Eliza had smiled. "Rich people often are snobby." She reminded the orphans. "Which is precisely why with your lessons I make every effort for you to get ahead in life."  
  
"But Miss Eliza you're rich!" One of the orphans said.  
  
Eliza smiled slightly. "Of sorts. I only get a thousand every year until I am thirty when I then get the rest in a lump sum. As long as the money doesn't get eaten up in this depression. And as you all well know this years money was spent mostly on you children for those clothes you are wearing now. And I was only a ward of a rich man, hardly what society would consider rich themselves!"  
  
"MISS ELIZA!" One of the orphans called. "James is here with the milk!"  
  
"About time too," Eliza muttered, hurrying to the front. "If he were any later they would have had no milk to go with their dinner tonight."  
  
"Ah Miss Eliza," James said spotting her. "Must I say that dress is very becoming to you." He said.  
  
Eliza smiled. "Why thank you James." She said, accepting the comment graciously.  
  
"It goes with your eyes. I don't think I've ever seen such lovely green eyes you know." James added.  
  
Eliza looked up into his face and smiled. "And you know what James?" She said. "You're looking handsome yourself today too."  
  
James' face went red. Eliza had never been anything but polite despite his many attempts to tell her how much he loved her. It looked as though she had changed her mind! 


	28. 28

[A/N. Again this chapter is a little shorter than usual, but I had to leave it there.]  
  
New York, June 1933.  
  
Eliza took a deep breath and stepped out of her office for the last time. The place had become like a home to her in the past two years or so, and she couldn't help but be reluctant about leaving it. In fact, in her sentimentality, she thought she would even miss Molly. At the end of 1932 Molly had turned sixteen and thus been required to leave the orphanage, but Eliza had managed to convince the state to allow Molly to stay on in the position of a maid, and sort of helper to Eliza. The state had not been too keen at first, especially considering the many complaints they had received over the years about Molly, but Eliza had worn them down. And when Molly had heard the news she'd thrown her arms about Eliza and vowed to behave herself. Eliza had laughed and disentangled herself from the girl's arms. "You better because there is only one chance her Molly!" So far Molly had been behaving.  
  
In her hand Eliza clutched her handbag-the rest of her luggage had been sent ahead. She couldn't help but be scared by this new adventure in her life-marriage had been something she'd been dreaming about for so long that she thought it was meant to remain only that-a dream! At twenty-seven she had thought she was too old to be married and that she would have to live her life as an old maid, but her husband to be didn't care about that fact one bit! He lived his life according to his own standards, not those of other people. Suddenly Eliza realised that the entire orphanage were crowded onto the steps watching her.  
  
"Children! Shouldn't you be in lessons? Miss Gray won't be very happy about this!" Eliza scolded gently.  
  
Molly stepped forward in her usual brash style. "Miss Gray understood that we wanted to say goodbye!" She assured Eliza. "And she wanted a word with the man whose going to be the new milkman in private! She said it's about trying to convince him to get us some cream, but we know better. The second she saw him she all but swooned. Sounds familiar to me!"  
  
"Molly!" Eliza said warningly, but she smiled. "Anyway, it's very nice of you all to want to say goodbye!"  
  
"We know you're going to be very happy." Molly said. "He's loved you from the moment he first saw you. We saw the look in his eyes every day when he came here!"  
  
"Yes, well he is a wonderful man, and I am so happy about this." Eliza replied. She knew that with the depression still going on fairly strong that marriage was going to be hard now, especially when it came to monetary matters, but she knew with the support of her husband she would be able to manage it. After all she'd been living on a very strict budget at the orphanage the last few years! And the depression surely couldn't last forever!  
  
"The car is here Miss Eliza!" One of the orphans called, and Eliza took another deep breath. For a moment she thought about running back into the office and declaring she wasn't going anywhere, or marrying anyone. But then she laughed at herself. Wasn't her husband to be the most wonderful man she had ever met? Wasn't marrying him the best thing which would ever happen to her? So with another goodbye Eliza was soon seated in the car driving towards the station. Her husband to be had a few work matters to settle before they left and so she traveled alone to the station. There was no real doubt in her mind that she was doing the right thing, but she couldn't help but be a little nervous.  
  
Finally the car arrived at the station, and the driver hurried around to help Eliza from the car, something she didn't think necessary, but which was still nice. And then she spotted her husband to be over near her luggage. He looked up and saw her, a smile lighting up his eyes, and he hurried over to her.  
  
"You were a little later than I'd expected. I almost thought maybe you'd got cold feet." He told her.  
  
Eliza laughed. "No. The orphans wanted to say goodbye to me again."  
  
He laughed too. "I'll miss them playing tricks on me all the time. Like the afternoon they locked me in the scullery. I suppose they didn't want you to fall in love with me and leave them!" He said.  
  
"Well can you blame them? It's hard having no family." Eliza said.  
  
"Well it won't be hard for you. You know my family will soon be your family." He promised her.  
  
Eliza frowned slightly. She wasn't entirely convinced on this fact. He noticed the frown and tilted her chin up so her eyes looked into hers. "Eliza. I promise you." He said, his lips curving in that familiar smile which made her feel warm inside.  
  
"I know." She said. "I'm just worried about things-like managing a house in this depression and all."  
  
"I've told you Eliza you won't have to worry too much about that-nor money." He said. "Stop worrying and be happy. Don't you love me as much as I love you?"  
  
Eliza smiled. "Yes Edward, I love you as much as you love me."  
  
"Good, then let's get on this train and get out of here!" He declared, taking her hand in his.  
  
"Let's." Eliza agreed. 


	29. 29

[A/N. I am sure most of you probably know this but I thought I would mention that a lot of the people I mention in here in connection with the Titanic, and the events surrounding them on that tragic night, are historical facts. I have something of an obsession when it comes to writing stories about making sure I get facts straight. Even that senate committee at the beginning was true. I did an essay on the Titanic when I was in year seven or eight I think, and from that time on I became obsessed with the whole thing. So you can imagine how happy I was when the movie came out! Anyway, enough of that: enjoy the story.]  
  
Philadelphia, July 1933.  
  
The house in Philadelphia was one of the largest, and elaborate Eliza had ever seen. Some would perhaps even class it as ostentatious. It was almost as if it's occupants wanted to make sure everyone knew they had money! To Eliza this seemed a little strange-after all Edward's father was a Colonel, and one of the most famous in the country. Surely he would have known his place in society? Edward led her up the few steps leading to the main entrance and they walked into the house. Eliza looked around at the foyer. Marble floors, and huge paintings were prominent. And then all of a sudden she noticed a woman standing near the doorway of another room studying them thoughtfully. The woman was dressed in a fine silk dress-the sort of clothing Eliza thought was suitable for an afternoon party rather than that time of morning. (One of the first lessons she had learnt from her governess was about when she should wear what!)  
  
"Mother- allow me to introduce my fiancée, Eliza." Edward said proudly, and he gently propelled Eliza forward.  
  
Mrs. Gracie raised a delicate eyebrow. "So this is the woman you think you're going to marry then?" She asked, coming forward slightly also.  
  
"Mother!" Edward said, shooting Eliza an embarrassed look. "We've discussed this ad nauseum. Eliza and I are getting married next month."  
  
"Right." Mrs. Gracie said, in the tone of someone who clearly didn't believe a word they were saying. "Well your father's been tied up in a meeting with Franklin, but he should be home in time for dinner. I'm sure he's..eager to meet your...fiancée."  
  
Eliza had been standing silently during this exchange between her fiancée and his mother, and now she stepped forward and smiled at the woman. "Mrs. Gracie it is nice to meet you finally since Edward speaks of you all the time. And your house is lovely! It's even nicer than..well it's lovely." She had been about to say it was even nicer than Cal's, but she decided not to mention her association with the Hockleys, and hoped that Edward hadn't brought it up either.  
  
"Well.." Mrs. Gracie said, and then she smiled tightly. "Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some things to see to." And with that she turned and walked away.  
  
Eliza felt her face redden. The woman had all but snubbed her. "I guess your mother doesn't like me. You neglected to tell me that she wasn't happy about the marriage Edward!" She said.  
  
Edward sighed. "Come into the living room Eliza. I need a drink."  
  
The living room was just as elaborate as the foyer Eliza noted. Once Edward had poured himself a brandy and they were both seated on a comfortable leather couch he admitted to her that his mother wasn't entirely happy with the marriage. "But, "He hastened to add. "She's never thought anyone was good enough for me to marry."  
  
"Perhaps," Eliza conceded. "But I am willing to bet that she was even more against this marriage than any other."  
  
Edward sighed, and took her hand. "Eliza look around you. Who do you think decorated this house? My mother, that's who. Father was away with the army so much when they first married he didn't really care, and now he couldn't be bothered arguing. My mother is a snob. Her parents always expected her to marry someone like Ben Guggenheim, or JP Morgan. I think almost against her will she fell in love with Father. Then when she learnt he was richer than she was he had no chance of getting away from her. Not to say he wanted to mind you, but once my mother decides on something, well she gets that something! What I'm trying to say is that I could care less about what she thinks. I'm a grown man, and I make my own decisions. And Father will like you as much as I do."  
  
Eliza sighed also. "I just hate the idea of her being opposed to this marriage."  
  
"She'll come around eventually, I promise. And even if she doesn't it doesn't matter. When I told Father I intended to marry he began the job of purchasing me my own home. In his eyes every man should start his married life in a home of his own. My mother would disagree of course, but Father is a very strong man when he wants to be. And wait until you see the place Eliza. We're in the process of having it decorated and furnished, so as soon as the wedding has taken place, we can move in!" Edward said.  
  
That made Eliza feel slightly better. The idea of being married and living in the same place as Mrs. Gracie wasn't entirely appealing.  
  
"I hear the car. Father must be home!" Edward said. "I promise you Eliza, he is nothing like Mother."  
  
A few minutes later a tall, distinguished looking man entered the room. "Edward!" He said, and Edward hurried to shake his father's hand.  
  
"I had meant to be here to greet you. I wanted at least someone to make you feel welcome." Edward explained. "But the meeting dragged on and on and on..."  
  
"How is business Father?" Edward enquired.  
  
"It's better than I expected..but enough about business. This must be Eliza." And he turned to smile at her. "Welcome dear. Edward has done nothing but talk about you since he first met you at that orphanage. In fact I feel as if I already know you."  
  
Eliza stood up. "And Edward speaks of you constantly. I'm glad to be meeting you at last." She said politely.  
  
Colonel Gracie laughed. "Don't be so formal. After all we're almost family." He said jovially, and Eliza had to smile. As Edward had said his father was nothing like his mother. Maybe it was being in the army and working which made him more down to earth like his son?  
  
"Isn't this touching?" Mrs. Gracie said from the doorway. "Archibald we need to discuss that groom again!"  
  
"Again?" The colonel made a face. "I'm sure you won't bully Edward like I get bullied." He said to Eliza.  
  
"Archibald!" Mrs. Gracie snapped. "Do you mind?"  
  
"Right, well I'll see you at dinner." The colonel said, and he left with his wife.  
  
"See?" Edward said to Eliza. "I told you he was different to mother."  
  
"He's wonderful!" Eliza said. "He made me feel welcome. He didn't even seem to look down on me."  
  
"Well he wouldn't!" Edward assured her. "Father's what society calls new money- at least compared to Mother. Plus I think surviving the Titanic disaster made-"  
  
"-Your Father was on the Titanic?" Eliza interrupted shocked.  
  
"Yes." Edward said looking puzzled. "He was lucky to survive too. He was travelling alone back home, and with the woman and children only rule he wasn't given a spot on the boat. When the ship was finally sinking he made a jump for it and landed on top of the collapsible lifeboat. He was actually one of the survivors to later write memoirs of the whole incident and-" suddenly he stopped in shock. "OH! Eliza I am so sorry sweetheart. I forgot about your parents."  
  
Eliza smiled. "Oh that's alright. It was a long time ago-twenty one years! I barely even remember them. I was only six that night."  
  
"Even so I shouldn't have brought it up." Edward said decidedly. "Now let me show you to your rooms. I hope you like them."  
  
Eliza laughed. "Edward I've been living in a tiny room in an orphanage for the past few years. Anything here would be better than that." She told him.  
  
"I know. I just want you to be happy here. I know you might feel uncomfortable with Mother until she warms up to you, but I want you to remember Father and I're here for you!" Edward explained as they climbed the stairs.  
  
"I know sweetheart." Eliza replied.  
  
When Edward opened the door to her rooms she was speechless. In the center of the room was a huge four poster bed, covered with a beautiful silk cover. Beside the bed sat an oak table, and to the right, by the window was an oak writing desk. The windows were large and looked down on the lovely gardens. Another doorway led to the bathroom, in which a huge sunken tub took precedence. Her clothes were already neatly put away in the huge cupboard, making it seem as though she had hardly any. At least when she got her yearly payment she'd be able to buy some more!  
  
"Relax for a bit before dinner. I'm sure the trip has tired you-and meeting my mother was probably even more tiring." Edward said.  
  
"Okay," Eliza agreed, and Edward kissed her quickly and turned to leave the room, but Eliza had a sudden thought and called him back. "Edward- does your mother know that I was Cal's ward?"  
  
"She does. For some reason I wasn't planning on telling her, but she has ways of finding out things. But Eliza I don't want you stressing over my mother. She'll come around eventually I promise."  
  
"I'm sure she will." Eliza lied. She honestly didn't think that Mrs. Gracie was going to accept her as her daughter in law any time in the near future! But with Edward as her loving husband she didn't care as much as she would have normally. 


	30. 30

Philadelphia, July, 1933.  
  
"So my wife tells me you were the ward of Caledon Hockley." Colonel Gracie said at dinner that first night.  
  
Eliza finished the mouthful she was chewing before nodding. "Yes, Cal took me in after the Titanic disaster killed my parents." She said. "He was more than good to me. He sent me to school, and helped my to obtain a position as a governess. When the market crashed in '29 he brought me home, and I worked further as a governess for the privilege of having somewhere to stay."  
  
"I didn't think much of his wife. Living with a woman like that- so damn controlling- it's little wonder he killed himself!" The colonel said.  
  
"ARCHIBALD!" Mrs. Gracie said shocked. "We don't talk of such things at the dinner table!"  
  
"Well anyway his passing was a shock to us all." The colonel finished. "I'm sure you were devastated."  
  
Eliza opened her mouth to reply, but before she could reply Mrs. Gracie said, "Of course she wasn't devastated. He wasn't her real father was he?"  
  
"But she lived there since she was six, I'm sure..." The colonel trailed off seeing his wife's look.  
  
They ate in silence until Edward spoke up. "So Father have you thought about which business acquaintances you're going to invite to our wedding?"  
  
The colonel shook his head. "Not yet, I guess we'll have to invite the Morgans, and probably the Guggenheims..."  
  
"So you are thinking a big wedding will be suitable then?" Mrs. Gracie asked. "A real society affair?"  
  
Edward glanced over at Eliza. "To tell you the truth Mother we hadn't really decided yet. I'm happy with whatever Eliza wants. After all it really is more the bride's day than the grooms isn't it?"  
  
Eliza smiled at him. "I have no ideas though Edward." Then she turned to Mrs. Gracie. "But I'm sure you know what's in and not in, and what's tasteful and what's not. Will you help me Mrs. Gracie?"  
  
Mrs. Gracie chewed in silence for a moment, while the entire room held their collective breaths. Edward was silently applauding Eliza's words- surely his mother couldn't refuse something like this? Especially not considering her ideas on how she wanted to get involved with things!  
  
"I can see I'll probably have to. After all, the guests will be expecting a lovely one, with the Gracie name to it." Mrs. Gracie said. "If I don't help it might be a complete disaster and I don't want society gossiping about that behind my back."  
  
Eliza glanced at Edward, who shrugged slightly and smiled. "Thank you Mrs. Gracie." Eliza said. "I'm sure with your help it will be a wonderful wedding."  
  
"Hmmm." Mrs. Gracie replied. "Did you know Cal's Melanie is back here at the moment?"  
  
"No." Eliza said frowning. "I thought she got married and was planning on living in England with her new husband and her children?"  
  
"She was. But there was a terrible accident- her new husband was killed in a riding fall, and rather than stay there were she was reminded of him she came over here." Mrs. Gracie explained eagerly. "We're all taking bets on when she'll get her claws into another eligible, rich young man. Despite the fact that she really did love Cal there was no way she would have married him if he didn't have the money he did. Tell me Eliza, what was it like to live with her?"  
  
Eliza sighed. "It was alright actually. She treated me like a governess, cool, polite and slightly detached for the most part." She said.  
  
"For the most part?" Mrs. Gracie asked leaning forward.  
  
"Well we did actually have an argument before she sailed for England." Eliza replied, a little reluctant. But the look in Mrs. Gracie's eyes urged her to continue. "Pretty stupid really. And it was then that she told me how she felt about me. So when Cal left me the money- I mean when her lawyer convinced her to give me some money she must have hated it."  
  
Mrs. Gracie smiled slightly. "Everyone knows that Cal left you the money. A tightwad like Melanie would hardly give anyone a cent- even on the orders of her lawyer! And everyone thought it was exceedingly generous of Cal. I mean its not like you were his own child was it? An orphan whom he took in out of the goodness of his heart!"  
  
The colonel changed the subject then. "I met Cal's first fiancée- Rose- on board the Titanic. She was the most amazing woman. We all used to tease him about whether or not he could handle her. A firecracker she was! But at the same time she was beautiful, and brought up as a real lady. A great catch for any man. It was terrible she died on board the ship! There have always been a lot of rumors about why she jumped back onto the ship. Some say she wanted to be with Cal. Some say she had another man on there she wanted to be with. The cruelest claim that she didn't love Cal, and he didn't love her, and the idea of being his wife was less appealing than the idea of dying. Regardless of why she did it, it was a terrible loss. A wonderful woman..."  
  
Eliza thought about the Broadway show that Edward had taken her to the week before they left New York, which featured the return of Rose Calvert, one of Broadway's most loved actresses. She managed a sad smile. "Yes, it would have been a shame. I know Cal never completely got over her death."  
  
"He didn't?" Mrs. Gracie asked eagerly. "You don't say?"  
  
"Well I mean he talked about her often and all..." Eliza explained. "He loved her."  
  
"Hmmm." Mrs. Gracie said again.  
  
"Well if that's enough gossip do you think we could have some brandy now?" The colonel asked. "I haven't seen my son in a few months and I want to catch up with him- and of course his lovely fiancée."  
  
Mrs. Gracie frowned slightly. "You do that Archibald, but count me out. I'm going up to bed. I've got one of my tension headaches."  
  
Eliza sighed as Mrs. Gracie kissed her son and husband goodnight and left the room. For a moment there she thought she was making real progress with Mrs. Gracie being interested in what she had to say. Now, she realised, Mrs. Gracie was simply interested in the gossip-nothing else!  
  
"She'll come around," Edward whispered in Eliza's ear as they left the room. "Before the wedding you'll have her eating out of your hand."  
  
Eliza just smiled. Mrs. Gracie didn't appear to be the type to eat out of anyone's hand- especially the woman who was marrying her only son, and whom she considered far from good enough! 


	31. 31

Philadelphia, October 1933.  
  
Eliza leant on the window frame looking down onto the magnificent gardens, which were looking even more magnificent than usual for the wedding that day. True to her word Mrs. Gracie had made sure the wedding would be a wonderful one. Everything was organised meticulously down to the last little detail. Over the preceding two months Mrs. Gracie had become nicer to Eliza, but it was still clear that she didn't really accept her as suitable marriage material for her son. At the engagement party she'd all but thrown all the eligible rich women in the area at Edward, who only had eyes for Eliza. Still Mrs. Gracie had come to realise that no matter what she did Edward was going to marry this girl, so there was no use in complaining. She just had to make the most of it.  
  
There was a knock on the door. "Come in." Eliza called, turning back from the window.  
  
It was Edward's cousin Jennifer, who was to be the maid of honor. "You look beautiful!" Jennifer said.  
  
Eliza smiled, and glanced down at the long white dress. The train was draped up over her arm, and the veil pulled back at the moment. In her hands she was to carry the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers she thought she had ever seen.  
  
Jennifer was wearing a pale lavender dress with a hem shorter than Mrs. Gracie had wanted, but Jennifer had overruled her. "Aunt Margaret ladies can show some of their legs these days. Not like when you were young and you couldn't even barely show your ankles!" Mrs. Gracie had glared at her. "Are you saying I'm old and out of touch Jennifer?" She'd demanded. Jennifer had given her a big grin and shrug. And then Mrs. Gracie had laughed and agreed to the hemline.  
  
"You look gorgeous too." Eliza told Jennifer.  
  
"Thanks, but I'm not meant to be. You're the one who is!" Jennifer told her with a smile. "You know we were beginning to think Edward wouldn't get married. After all he's almost thirty-two. Mother's starting to nag me about getting married too. I'm almost twenty-one. I think Robert and I might get married soon though!"  
  
"Do you love him?" Eliza asked.  
  
Jennifer looked thoughtful. "Love is such a hard word. I like him, and I think we'd be happy together. It'd be a good match. I'm sure love would come in time!"  
  
Eliza didn't say anything to that- it wasn't completely foreign for women of Jennifer's class to have attitudes like this still. But more were beginning to marry for love.  
  
"Anyway, we have to go down now before Aunt Margaret has a heart attack." Jennifer said, and she hurried over to fix Eliza's veil. The two walked down the stairs, with Eliza's heart beating a million miles a minute. Mrs. Gracie and the colonel waited below. As soon as he caught sight of her the colonel's face lit up in a smile. "You look absolutely stunning Eliza!" He declared.  
  
Mrs. Gracie looked up too, and then she smiled also. "He's actually right for once. You do look wonderful." She said.  
  
"Thank you both." Eliza said. "I just wish these butterflies in my stomach would go away."  
  
"Oh I had them when I was marrying Archibald." Mrs. Gracie declared. "Completely normal. Now- I'll go take my seat, and the other bridesmaids are waiting in the foyer with young Jessie who is carrying your train. Archibald- you know what to do?"  
  
"Of course I do." The colonel scoffed. "Eliza- she's had me practicing giving her away. Despite my many complaints that I didn't think I'd be able to give her away unless I sold her!"  
  
Eliza smothered a laugh, and Mrs. Gracie looked exasperated. "You should have been a clown instead of a soldier Archibald. Right, good luck girls. Don't make any mistakes."  
  
After she left the colonel turned to Eliza. "Well are you ready?"  
  
Eliza took a deep breath and nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be at any rate!" She said.  
  
The colonel held out his arm, and Eliza linked hers through it, and they walked into the foyer where the rest of the bridesmaids were waiting, along with the man who was overseeing the wedding. "Okay on my word the bridesmaids will go." He said. A few moments later he said, "GO!"  
  
And then it was Eliza's turn. She tried to walk normally, and look simply happy with no stupid grin on her face as Mrs. Gracie had stipulated, but she was too happy. Today she was getting married!  
  
Edward turned as Eliza started up the aisle and his eyes lit up at the sight of his beautiful bride. A moment later she was standing beside him in front of the reverend who was conducting the ceremony. During the wedding Eliza heard none of the speeches, none of the reverend's words. She was too happy to concentrate. However when she was asked to make her vows she made them in a clear, firm and calm voice, as did Edward. And when he was asked to kiss his bride she heard the clapping from the many guests. She'd done it. She was now Mrs. Edward Gracie, no longer just plain Eliza the orphan. They walked back down the aisle set up in the garden and then accepted the congratulations of everyone.  
  
The next few hours passed in a blur of voices, food, drink and dancing, and then before she knew it Eliza was being ushered upstairs to change before she and Edward left on their honeymoon. A little while later as the car took them away Edward turned to her and said, "We did it my girl."  
  
"We did!" Eliza replied, and she leant her head against her new husband's shoulder as they drove off.  
  
  
  
[A/N. I know I could leave it there, but I don't know that I will. For some reason I really like writing this story, and don't want to stop now!! Who knows?] 


	32. 32

[A/N. I don't think this chapter is as good as the last few (which were in my opinion some of the better ones in the story!) however as you'll realise it needed to be written. After all Eliza's adventures can't end with marriage can they? And I've already got some more ideas forming in my mind about the coming years of Eliza's story!]  
  
Philadelphia, February 1934.  
  
When Eliza heard the car make it's way up the driveway she got up and hurried into the foyer to greet her husband. She did this on most days and it had become something of a habit.  
  
"It's damn cold out there. They're saying we're on track for the third coldest winter ever!" Edward said, shaking the water off his coat as he entered the grand foyer of his home.  
  
Eliza, who held little Benjamin asleep contentedly in her arms, looked concerned. "I'd hate to be in one of those tin shelters in New York now." She said, shivering at the thought of it.  
  
"Well you're not in one-so there is no use thinking about it." Edward scolded gently, coming over to smile at his six-week old son. "I tell you Eliza if I could give any more money to the poor I would. But I can't."  
  
"I'm not asking you to!" Eliza hastened to assure him.  
  
"So what have my two favorite people been doing today?" Edward asked gently rubbing his son's foot.  
  
"Sleeping and trying to sleep." Eliza said, with a grin.  
  
Edward had noticed on a few occasions how tired his wife seemed to be. Her face was pale and drawn, and there were black circles under her eyes. But she refused to allow him to hire anyone to help with the baby. His mother had all but suggested that he should just go ahead and hire someone. Not out of concern for Eliza's health and well being mind you, but because it was simply the thing to do. But Edward knew that Eliza would be furious if he did that, and he didn't even consider it.  
  
"Why don't you get some sleep now he's asleep? Pop him in the crib and go and lie down?" Edward suggested.  
  
Eliza shook her head. "The moment I put him down he wakes up screaming. I've tried countless times today." She said, with a yawn.  
  
"Well here, give him to me then. I can hold him for a bit whilst you get some sleep. Sweetheart you look exhausted." Edward offered, but Eliza's eyes narrowed.  
  
"Funny you should say that. Your mother said the exact same thing yesterday in between trying to convince me to hire someone to help with Ben." Eliza said, suspiciously.  
  
"Mother was here? You didn't tell me." Edward said.  
  
"It must have slipped my mind." Eliza replied sarcastically. "Honestly Edward, since Ben was born she's become even worse! According to her every little thing I do for him is wrong!"  
  
Edward sighed. He'd been hoping that his wife and mother would get along eventually. Of course he knew this was his mother's fault, and not his wife's. Eliza had been making every attempt to get along with Mrs. Gracie, but Mrs. Gracie simply refused to respect Eliza and treat her like anything even vaguely resembling an equal. Luckily for him Eliza chose not to worry about it.  
  
"Come into the living room. I want to get in front of the fire for a bit before I freeze to death." Edward said. Eliza followed him and then sat down with Ben still in her arms.  
  
"Ah that's better." Edward said after a few minutes of warming himself in front of the fire. "Well sweetheart I might have a solution to my interfering mother."  
  
"I'm all ears." Eliza said curiously.  
  
"Father was thinking of expanding the business, and as you know he's not much of a business man, being an army man and historian first and foremost, and therefore he is looking to me to do it." Edward explained.  
  
Eliza nodded slowly. "Well at least that explains the smile on your face when you returned. A big responsibility I guess?"  
  
"Yes, but one I think I can handle. And clearly Father thinks I can also." Edward said proudly.  
  
"I am sure you can too. But what does this have to do with your mother?" Eliza asked.  
  
"The business would be overseas in somewhere like Liverpool, England. Simply because that's the best center for shipping and industry purposes. Father has proposed me moving over there and starting up the business over there. He seems to think that with the depression slowly beginning to get better now is the time to move. He's quite excited about it all but I explained I had to talk it over with you first, and naturally he understood that." Edward said, his words coming out in a rush.  
  
Eliza took a deep breath. England! The other side of the world! "You really want to do this don't you?" She asked her husband.  
  
"I do, but Eliza if you want to stay here we can stay. Father can live without the business expanding."  
  
Eliza frowned thoughtfully. She had no family, and the friends that she did have were Edward's friends. The only people she really had were Edward and Benjamin. So would leaving America behind really be much of a sacrifice? "Edward, my home is with you. As long as I am with you I don't care if I am in America or England."  
  
Edward's eyes lit up, and he hurried over to embrace his wife. "How did I manage to get such an understanding wife?"  
  
"You just got lucky I guess." Eliza said, as Ben woke up to the crushing of his Father hugging his mother and wailed loudly.  
  
A sudden thought occurred to Eliza, one which made her go cold. How would they get to England? They'd have to go by ship of course. And while there had been no disasters on the scale of the Titanic since it had happened, she couldn't help but be scared.  
  
Edward was watching his wife and he knew what she was thinking. "Eliza, sweetheart, I promise you this is going to be perfectly safe. Many people travel by the sea now and nothing happens to them. The Titanic was a freak accident."  
  
Eliza swallowed. How could she refuse to get on the ship and end Edward's dreams? She couldn't. "I know, and I'll be alright once we get under way. I just can't help but be nervous."  
  
"I know sweetheart, but I'll be there for you. Everything will be fine. And we'll reach England and we'll be in a whole new country. Think of this as an adventure!" Edward told her earnestly.  
  
Eliza laughed at the light in Edward's eyes. "It will be kind of interesting to be in another country." She admitted. "Don't mind my worrying. We're going to have a great time." 


	33. 33

[A/N. I think I made a mistake with the dates. Eliza married Edward in October 1933, but the last chapter should have said that it was February 1935 not 1934.]  
  
Liverpool, England, August, 1935.  
  
"Mrs. Gracie?" The young woman asked, startling Eliza. Even though she and Edward had been married for nearly two years "Mrs. Gracie" was the term Eliza attributed to her mother-in-law.  
  
"Yes Jessica?" Eliza asked, putting down her knitting and glancing outside at the bright blue sky. It had been a lovely Sunday and she was disappointed that Edward had to work, otherwise they could have taken a walk or something. She was entering her sixth month of her second pregnancy and often felt restless.  
  
"Young Ben is asleep. Is there anything else I can do for you before I go? Do you need me to get you another drink or something so you don't have to move too much?" Jessica asked.  
  
Eliza smiled slightly. Whilst servants in England were an entirely different breed to servants in America as she had found out, Jessica was a real find. Even though she went home to her old mother every night she was there bright and early in the morning and Eliza had never had to punish her for anything. The other servant was the cook who also came in the morning and went home at night. After all the place wasn't exactly big enough to warrant a whole lot of servants. At least it wasn't anything like the home they'd been used to back in America! Plus money was tight with the business still finding its feet.  
  
"No thanks Jessica. It will do me good to get up if I need a drink." Eliza said. "But thank you for asking."  
  
"No problems Ma'am." Jessica said, and she bowed slightly and then left.  
  
Eliza went back to her knitting for awhile, but then realised it was growing dark and switched on the lamp on the table next to her. A glance at the clock told her it was almost five-thirty, and Edward had said he would be home at about fourish. At five to six Eliza heard her husband's footsteps on the path outside the home. When he entered the small living room he threw her a sheepish glance. "I know, I know- I'm later than I had planned."  
  
"That's alright. Was it a hard day?" Eliza asked, and she struggled to get to her feet to get her husband a drink.  
  
"ELIZA!" He scolded. "I can get my own drink. Sit back down!"  
  
Eliza laughed and then flopped gratefully back into her seat.  
  
"So, I had another letter off my Father today. He is convinced that Hitler is going to cause trouble soon, although most of America are sticking their heads in the sand! I mean Hitler violated the treaty of Versailles in March by introducing military conscription. That doesn't sound like he's planning nothing does it?" Edward told Eliza as he sat on the couch nursing his brandy.  
  
"What are Hitler's plans?" Eliza asked. She didn't read the papers very much since Edward was slightly old fashioned in his views that it wasn't healthy for women to know too much about things such as world affairs and politics.  
  
"Who knows what Hitler's plans are?" Edward answered shaking his head. "To me he seems like a madman, but to the German people he's the answer to all their prayers. They too are in the grip of the depression and Hitler is giving them hope. And whatever his plans are for the rest of the world, he certainly seems to have grand plans for the Jews in Germany."  
  
"He does?" Eliza repeated thoughtfully.  
  
"Mmm. Back in 1933 he really began to persecute the Jews- we didn't hear about it too much in America since Roosevelt was taking the view that whatever Germany did within Germany was their right. But since coming over here, where we are a lot closer to the country I've heard a lot more. He opened concentration camps for the Jews, he burnt books which dealt with Jewish history, or were written by Jews, he boycotted Jewish shops.." Edward suddenly realised the way his wife was leaning forward in her chair, entranced. "Anyway, these matters are not matters for ladies ears."  
  
"Just one thing though Edward- we are safe here aren't we?" Eliza asked.  
  
"Of course." Edward assured his wife. "Hitler's crazy, but he's not stupid. He's not about to start a war with other countries."  
  
"Oh well that's a relief." Eliza said, and she got laboriously to her feet, rubbing her aching back. "I'm sorry to be rude sweetie but I think I might get to bed. I'm tired and my back is giving me trouble."  
  
Edward hurried to get to his feet too, and he kissed his wife gently as she went off to bed. He sank back into the chair and wondered if he had done the right thing by assuring Eliza that Hitler had no plans to start a war. General thoughts indicated that Hitler wanted to invade countries near him, such as Poland, and Colonel Gracie had agreed with this in his letter to Edward: "I fear that Hitler could do something sometime. I know everyone is denying it, but as a military man I have my suspicions about him! If anything starts you must come home at once with Eliza and little Ben. My business is not important when faced with my family being in danger." At the moment there was no danger, but Edward was convinced that if trouble appeared imminent Eliza and Ben would be on the first ship back to America! 


	34. 34

[A/N. For all my obsessiveness about historical accuracy (like the things about Hitler and the coming war now, and the depression and the Titanic incident before them) there are a couple of things in here I am not one hundred percent sure about. For example when did the word "pregnancy" replace words such as "expecting" or even "with child"? And when did it stop being such a disgrace? I know that in earlier times in England when a female servant became pregnant it was seen as a blight on the family, and she was turned out regardless of whether the man would marry her or not. Oh well, I'll just have to assume, for the purposes of this story that times are somewhat more liberal than that, but that pregnancy is still something of a delicate issue!]  
  
Liverpool, November 1937.  
  
Eliza laughed as her two-year old daughter ran unsteadily after her older brother. Ben would be three in only a few weeks time, and Eliza was silently wondering where the past few years had gone. The business had taken off and this only meant Edward spent even more time at work, although he didn't neglect his wife or his children. Money was beginning to flow again, and the long lines of unemployed and homeless were finally beginning to diminish somewhat. And Colonel Gracie reported similar occurrences back in America. However there was something else for him to worry about: he was convinced that Hitler planned war and that his family were in danger in England. He begged Edward to come home, but Edward refused. The business was going well, the family was happy and established, and he didn't want to uproot them all now. Besides, he thought his father's concerns about war were pointless. If Hitler wanted to attack wouldn't he have done it by now he wrote to his father only the other month?  
  
"BENNY! BENNY!" Screamed Margaret. "Mummy want!"  
  
Ben stopped and glanced at his mother. "You want this mummy?" He asked holding his toy ship towards her.  
  
Eliza laughed. "I think she means she wants it Benjamin sweetie." She explained.  
  
"Excuse me Ma'am, the master's home." Jessica said coming into the nursery.  
  
  
  
Eliza nodded and got to her feet. "Well then I shall have that word with him Jessica. And don't look so worried. You should know by now that he is a fair man."  
  
"I know Ma'am, but there are plenty of other servants out there wanting work. Especially down in London!" Jessica said, wringing her hands.  
  
"While I am gone can you please get the fire going a bit more?" Eliza asked. "I just don't have the knack with them, and lord knows I've never felt winters as cold as over here."  
  
"But you get winters in America don't you Ma'am?" Jessica asked, pulling the blinds shut as she went to the fire. In the winter it got dark in the afternoon, something which had unnerved Eliza at first, but now after a few years there she was used to it.  
  
"Of course, but not like this. Even our autumns are warmer than summers here." Eliza explained.  
  
Jessica nodded politely and went to tend the fire. Over the years Eliza had come to value Jessica immensely. As a general rule English servants were their own people, showing none of the great loyalty many back in America did. Anything that the servants happened to overhear, or oversee was fodder for gossip. Servants didn't come to work immaculate like in America, nor did they speak well like many American ones. However Jessica was an exception to the rule, and the thought of losing her made Eliza shake at the prospect of going through the whole process trying to find a good servant again! But, as Eliza, had told Jessica it was the 1930's and things were far more liberal than they had been awhile back.  
  
"Edward, I want to talk to you." Eliza said, entering her husband's study, where he was pouring himself a brandy.  
  
"I want to talk to you too." Edward replied, and Eliza noted his hand was trembling slightly.  
  
"Whatever is the matter sweetheart?" Eliza asked, coming to his side. "Not troubles with the business?"  
  
"No, no, the business is fine." Edward replied, taking a large sip of his drink. "On November 5 Hitler held a conference in the Reich Chancellery during which he basically revealed his plans for the acquisition of something he calls "Lebensraum" or more simply living space, for the German people at the expense of other European nations. In his mind Germany has "a tightly packed racial core" and is therefore entitled to "greater living space than in the case of other peoples." He then said history had proved that expansion could only be carried out by breaking down resistance and taking risks. Basically his primary objective at the moment is to seize Czechoslovakia and Austria in order to protect Germany's eastern and southern flanks, and to also capitalize on the present and future military and political problems of France and England."  
  
Eliza frowned slightly. "Are you saying Hitler wants to go to war with us?"  
  
  
  
"I guess he wants more space, and he's prepared to fight anyone who stands in his way. But of course the French and the English, being the two more powerful countries in Europe currently, won't just let him, and they'll fight back." Edward said, wiping his brow. "I don't know Eliza, but things could get pretty bad around here. I'm completely prepared to book passages back to America for you and the children."  
  
Eliza bit her lip. "And you?"  
  
"Well I'd stay here. At the moment I don't believe there is any danger, and we've got the business and house to consider." Edward replied.  
  
"Edward, do you remember what I said to you when you asked me how I felt about moving over here?" Eliza asked.  
  
Edward thought carefully, and then shook his head.  
  
"I said Edward, my home is with you. As long as I am with you I don't care if I am in America or England."  
  
Edward smiled slightly. "Even if there is danger?"  
  
"Especially if there is danger. But I thought you said there was none." Eliza replied.  
  
"There is none at the moment, but Hitler's plans are ominous!" Edward admitted.  
  
"Well I guess we wait and see what happens. But Edward, we are not going anywhere at the moment." Eliza assured him.  
  
Edward put his arms around her and held her tightly for a moment. He still often wondered how he'd managed to find someone like Eliza. Granted she wasn't exactly a society lady (they only attended very few social occasions in England), but she was a good wife, a good person, and a good mother. Edward could ask for no more. And in his eyes she was perfect.  
  
"Now," He said, drawing away from her reluctantly. "You said you had something to tell me also?"  
  
"Oh right." Eliza said. "I don't know how to say this so it's best I come out and say it- Jessica is expecting."  
  
"She is?" Edward repeated confused. "She doesn't look it, and I didn't even know she had a fellow." He'd become quite British in some of his words and actions since they'd arrived in England, but this bothered Eliza none.  
  
"Well she isn't showing yet." Eliza explained. "And the fellow is someone named Sam. I met him the other day and he seems nice. He works as the chauffeur for the Nordstram's up the road and when he found out Jessica was expecting he was more than prepared to do his duty and marry her."  
  
"Good, good. Many men would want nothing to do with the girl or the baby, especially seeing as how money can still be quite tight." Edward said. "He must be a decent enough fellow."  
  
"Indeed!" Eliza replied eagerly. "The thing is Edward I'd hate the thought of having to lose Jessica, as would the children. You know what servants are like here and in London. We'd likely never find anyone as good as Jessica! I know English societal tradition dictates that if a servant is going to have a child they should be made to leave, but I don't want Jessica to leave. When she and Sam marry she can still live with him and work here during the day. Of course she'll need some time off for the baby, but then she can come back..Can't she?"  
  
Edward smiled. "Of course she can. I wouldn't want to deprive you of that help. And as for the baby, well it's only natural right? Some people might talk, but when have I ever cared about that? Stuff English society and their snobbery."  
  
Eliza raced over to hug him again. "Oh thank you so much Edward. Jessica will be delighted. She's been stressing terribly over this."  
  
Edward laughed. "Am I that bad?" He teased. "We must give her and Sam a wedding present too. Let the English toffs choke on that hmmm?"  
  
Eliza had to laugh as well. "And I thought you were becoming one of them too!" She said with a shake of her head. "I best go tell Jessica this right away. Stress is not good for expectant mothers."  
  
Back in the nursery Eliza informed Jessica of the entire conversation regarding her and Jessica's face broke into a huge smile.  
  
"The Master is probably better than any other master in this country!" She declared upon hearing it all. "Other servants would be turned out without a worry in the world to the family simply because of how other people would view the family allowing a servant who was expecting to remain."  
  
"I know." Eliza said. "I always thought American society was snobby, and it is, but it's got nothing on society over here. With aristocrats, nobility, and then just plain rich people there are too many strict rules to follow."  
  
Jessica nodded, not really sure what to say to this.  
  
"Anyway, we better get the children to bed and then you can go home. I am sure you want to tell some people some good news?" Eliza said, and the two of them went to get the children ready for bed.  
  
  
  
As Eliza tucked the children in and kissed them goodnight she wondered whether or not she was doing the right thing staying here? But surely Hitler wouldn't be stupid enough to think he could take on France and England, and even stupider to think he could take over the countries. She felt for the poor people in the countries closer to Hitler though, how terrible would it be to know you could be invaded any day and not have an army enough to put up a winnable fight? And then another thought occurred to her. Cal hadn't wanted Melanie and the children to leave, but they had, and then Cal had killed himself. Whilst there was no chance Edward would do that, Eliza still knew it would be very painful for him to be separated from them, and painful for her. No, she wasn't leaving his side. 


	35. 35

[A/N. This is going to be a very short chapter because I thought I should make mention of the war actually starting due to what I want to put in the next chapter, which is basically during the blitz by the Germans. With Liverpool being an industrial city at this time in history the German's attacked it ferociously. I remember my Nan telling me stories of the whole thing- in fact her fiancée was a pilot during the war and was killed. But she'd tell me stories about what it was like and all I can say is I am glad I didn't live through it!]  
  
Liverpool, September 3, 1939.  
  
"England has declared war on Germany." Edward said, dropping his head into his hands. "So have France, Australia and New Zealand. It's official- we're at war again."  
  
Eliza couldn't help but be frightened. Whilst she'd lived through the Great War it had been fought so far away that there was no real danger to her, but this was different. This time war was on her doorstep, and with the advances in technology things could be a lot different this time than with the trench warfare fought out in the Great War.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Edward asked suddenly.  
  
"I'm feeling sorry for the people of Czechoslovakia and Poland." Eliza said slowly. "And I'm thinking that England couldn't just stand back and do nothing."  
  
Edward smiled at his wife. Not only was she brave, but she had compassion, something many people were lacking! "And you don't want to go back to America?" He asked.  
  
Eliza came over to sit on the arm of his chair. "Not a chance." She said. "You should know you don't get rid of me that easily mister."  
  
Edward laughed, and pulled her down onto his lap. "I know that the government are not saying, but I think this could get bad." He said softly.  
  
"Bad?" Eliza asked, her eyes concerned.  
  
"Well do you think Hitler is going to let us just rush in and try and save everyone without there being some kind of reprisals on us?" Edward asked.  
  
"I guess not." Eliza said swallowing. "But it'll be all right. After all we're on the right side, the side of truth and justice!"  
  
Edward nodded. "Right, and if it gets too bad in the city we can always get out into the country." 


	36. 36

[A/N. Another short chapter I know, but I've been busy, and it takes me longer to write a chapter where I have to reread it to make sure all the facts are right. The next chapter will be longer, as to my knowledge bombing attacks by the Germans on Liverpool started on Sep 15, 1940. I was also thinking, when I was writing this how old Eliza would be now and it occurred to me she would actually be 34 now. How time flies!! LOL!!!]  
  
Liverpool, September 8,1940.  
  
"They hit London again last night." Edward said as he and Eliza ate their dinner. As per English tradition the children had eaten earlier and were now being readied for bed by Jessica.  
  
"Oh! Was it bad?" Eliza asked, pausing with her spoon on the way to her mouth.  
  
"Bad enough for the home office to issue a warning- from now on the blackout is going to extend not only to London but to other cities in the country-especially industrial cities." Edward explained.  
  
Eliza looked shocked. "Surely they don't think we're going to be bombed here?" She asked feeling sick at the thought. The German's had been bombing London since the end of August, but only since the start of that month had their raids intensified.  
  
Edward hesitated. He saw the look of fear on his wife's face and he wanted to tell her that there was no cause for concern, but he couldn't. After all, there WAS cause for concern. Cities such as Liverpool, Southampton, Bristol, Cardiff and Manchester had all been put on alert by the home office and she should know what was happening. "They do." He said gently. "And we must be prepared in case it happens Eliza."  
  
Eliza took a deep breath and nodded. "Of course we must-after all we've got the children to think about. Do you...do you think we should send them to the country with many of the other children from London?" Ben was almost six now, and Margaret had just turned five. Despite the war they were fairly happy children who never wanted for anything too badly.  
  
"I don't think so yet, but it's always a possibility." Edward said.  
  
Eliza nodded again. "I'd hate to be away from them, but I'd hate for them to be in danger." She said, and then she swallowed. "So what are the conditions for the blackout then?"  
  
Edward unfolded the paper he'd been carrying, glad that his wife was being such a great sport about the whole thing. It must have been hard for her to learn that they were in possible danger from the Germans, but she took it bravely. "Well at night we must extinguish all lights, and can only have the minimum candles or lamps. We have to take down the curtains we've got now, and change them with a darker material, a light proof material which must hang six inches past the sides of the windows, and cross each other so not even a speck of light can be seen. We're not meant to go out at night, but if there is an emergency and we must and we need a torch we have to point it down and it has to only light up the area immediately in front of us. Motor vehicles are not to be used during the hours of the blackout unless in cases of emergencies. Car owners have to place round cardboard discs in their headlights that have a slit in them that goes from side to side, and this slit must be no more than half an inch wide. The rear lamps on motor vehicles are just as important. Owners have to stuff transparent paper or tissue paper into the lamps so that the red of the lamp is reduced, but still bright enough to be seen from the rear." He read out.  
  
Eliza slowly ate a bit more as he read. When he'd finished she nodded. "Well that all seems reasonable to me. A little too logical and cold, but reasonable. And what about shelters? Shall we be having air raid shelters like in London? And aircraft spotters like in London?"  
  
Edward shrugged. "To be honest I don't really know yet. They're only just changing the laws so that other cities have blackouts, but I imagine that they would end up doing the same things here as in London. Nonetheless tomorrow I am going to see about getting us an Anderson shelter. We'll need something stable in case we have to spend many nights in it."  
  
Eliza nodded. "And I'll have to talk to the children. It's only fair that they know what is going on." She said thoughtfully. Surely many other mothers in Liverpool who were being told this news by their husbands at this very time, were considering the same thing. While older children who knew more about the war would likely have already feared that the city would be bombed like London, the younger children wouldn't think like this.  
  
  
  
"Yes," Edward agreed. "They'll need to know what's going to happen. I'll also get some new material for the windows tomorrow and we can hang it when I get home."  
  
Eliza nodded, but her mind was already thinking about the conversation she was going to have with her children the next day: they'd have many questions about why they were going to be bombed and what would happen that was for sure. But Eliza was determined to tell them the complete truth about it all, and hold nothing back. They would need to realise the gravity of the situation that the city was in. 


	37. 37

Liverpool, February, 1940.  
  
Eliza was sitting in the living room knitting when she heard it. The all too familiar siren signaling German planes approaching. Ben and Margaret came running down the stairs. In just under six months they'd become accustomed to the air raid siren wailing, and hurrying with their mother and the servants into the shelter, and spending as many as a couple of hours in there while outside the city was bombarded by bombs. Sometimes the shelter would actually shake but it was Eliza who would shiver in fright- not the children. After all children their age adapted to things like this Eliza told herself. After the raid was over and the all clear was given the children would scramble around in the ruins of places destroyed in the bombing. Eliza had been horrified at first, declaring it to be morbid, but Edward had disagreed. "Let them play with the other children. I know it might sound strange to you but it helps them understand what's going on." Eliza had to admit it had helped. In fact one time when Ben had returned home after one such outing he told her firmly that when he was old enough he was going to fight the bad Germans and that nasty Hitler man! Eliza had laughed and hugged her six-year-old son. "Hopefully the war will be over when you're big enough to fight sweetie!"  
  
"Mama? Don't you hear the siren? We have to go into the shelter!" Ben said, staring at his mother quizzically. She was sitting with her knitting on her lap lost in thought.  
  
"Sorry sweetie. Mama was thinking. Margaret, Ben lets' go." Eliza said standing up, and grabbing their hands. The three of them ran out to the shelter, and had only just closed the door behind them when they heard the first bomb fall. It sounded as though it were off towards the west and Eliza hoped that she was right, and that if this was the case it stayed over there. While a lot of Edwards business was run from the docks he also had an office north of their place where he conducted a lot of business. He hadn't spent much time near the docks since the German's had extended their blitz to Liverpool- it was simply too dangerous.  
  
"I hope the bad Germans go away soon." Ben complained. "I wanted to go over to Eddies house and play with his train. If that's alright Mama?"  
  
"Sure sweetie, we'll see." Eliza said, as she lit a few of the hurricane lamps they kept in the shelter for these occasions. Edward had also set up a few beds, and they kept clothing, food, books and games in there. After all, he said as he prepared it all, you never knew how long the raids would go for.  
  
The children were silent for a bit, playing games, and then Ben asked "Mama can I ask you a question?"  
  
Eliza could tell by his tone that whatever he was going to ask was very important, and she nodded.  
  
"How come Daddy isn't at the war? Lots of my friend's daddies are fighting the bad Germans but Daddy isn't!" Ben asked.  
  
Eliza smiled slightly. Personally she was thanking god that Edward wasn't fighting the Germans! "Well sweetie Daddy is American right, and America are not in the war. If America come into the war, which isn't very likely, then Daddy might fight. But because he is not English he can't fight yet." She explained.  
  
Ben sat and digested this for a moment and then he nodded and went back to the game.  
  
The door of the shelter was opened and closed with a bang. They all looked up to see Edward standing there. His face was black, his clothes were ripped and there was blood on a few parts of his body, but he was smiling nonetheless.  
  
"EDWARD!" Eliza cried, jumping up. "My darling what happened?"  
  
"DADDY HURT!" Margaret cried, running to put her arms around him. "Poor Daddy!"  
  
Edward gave his daughter a hug. "No sweetie, Daddy is not hurt. Daddy was very lucky to get away from the bombing though."  
  
"Edward, where were you?" Eliza asked, and she pulled Margaret away. "Ben- can you get you and Margaret a juice please?"  
  
Ben nodded, and took his little sister's hand. "Come over here and get a drink Margie." He told her, leading her away. Eliza had a moment of pride over how grown up and mature her little boy was, before concentrating on her husband.  
  
"I went to the dock." Edward said, rubbing his eyes. "They haven't hit there for awhile and I thought maybe they'd given it up as a bad job."  
  
"The dock!" Eliza cried, and then remembering the children she lowered her voice. "Why ever would you go there?"  
  
"Business has to go on Eliza." Edward said. "And I was lucky."  
  
"This time." Eliza said gravely. "Edward, you mustn't go back to the docks."  
  
"I can't promise you anything." Edward said, and then he sighed, and took her hand. "I better get cleaned up and put some fresh clothes on."  
  
"Let me clean your wounds first. They must hurt." Eliza said, and she made him sit down whilst she bustled about the shelter and got warm water and a cloth and bathed his wounds tenderly.  
  
"Was it a bad one?" Eliza asked as she did it.  
  
"Not really." Edward said, wincing in pain at one of the particularly nasty wounds. "I've seen worse that is. I had a letter off Father. He's furious at Roosevelt for simply imposing embargoes on the countries involved rather than getting in there and stopping the damn thing. But he did say that Roosevelt is getting the defense forces up to war establishment."  
  
"So he thinks America are going to join in?" Eliza asked, her heart in her throat.  
  
"Not unless they get attacked. Stop worrying Eliza. This war will be over before America join in." Edward told his wife. "And besides I'm too old to fight, they wouldn't want me."  
  
"Do you really believe that?" Eliza asked. "Either of that?"  
  
  
  
"The war could easily go for another few years, and if they're desperate for men my age won't count against me. I could only imagine Father demanding to go even though he's getting on to seventy!" Edward said, smiling at the image.  
  
"If they called you to fight would you go?" Eliza asked.  
  
Edward sighed. "I honestly don't know what I'd do. But they'd have to be pretty desperate to want a forty one year old man in their army sweetie."  
  
"The all clear Mama, Daddy. The all clear!" Ben yelled and he yanked open the door of the shelter and scrambled out followed closely by Margaret before either of his parents could even say it was all right to go.  
  
Eliza smiled at her son's enthusiasm, and she and Edward followed at a slower pace. "I wish this horrid bombing would end!" She said with a sigh, spotting the spirals of smoke rising in the air in the distance.  
  
"It will eventually." Edward assured her. "I don't think they can keep it up for much longer. They're getting rather embroiled in their invasion of the Soviet Union and more than likely they're soon going to need to concentrate all their energy on that!"  
  
They followed their children into the house.  
  
  
  
[A/N. From memory the German's stopped their constant bombing of Liverpool in May 1941, but I am not sure of the exact date?] 


	38. 38

Liverpool, December 8, 1941.  
  
"Mama, we're going over to Rick's place to play in their shelter." Ben told Eliza. "Jessica can walk us over there if you want?"  
  
"Sure, get Jessica to walk you over there." Eliza replied, looking up from the book she was reading. The past few months had been a welcome relief. The Germans had stopped their bombings, and were now concentrating on other areas of the world. In fact a bomb hadn't been dropped since May, so the children were all using the shelters as cubby houses. But Eliza herself hadn't been feeling too well lately, and Jessica had been asked to be more of a nanny to the children than anything else.  
  
A few minutes later Jessica popped her head in the door. "You alright there Ma'am?" She asked.  
  
"Sure Jessica, I'm fine." Eliza said, giving her a weak smile.  
  
After Jessica and the children left Eliza must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew Jessica was returning in a run calling her name "Eliza, Eliza!"  
  
Eliza jumped up. "What is it? Is it the Germans back again? Where are the children?" She cried.  
  
"The children are over at Rick's place. No, it's not the Germans. It's the Japanese- they attacked America yesterday!" Jessica explained.  
  
Eliza sank back into the chair. "They did?" She asked weakly, feeling her heart skip a few beats.  
  
"Mr. Masters told me all about it. Apparently the Japanese raid on Pearl Harbor was completely unexpected and they damaged or sunk about 21 of the American battleships. 188 aircraft's were destroyed, and a further 150 or so were also damaged. So far the American death count is just up over 2,000." Jessica explained.  
  
Eliza was shocked. "Why would they do that?" She managed to say. "And what are the Americans saying? Are they involved in the war now?"  
  
"According to Mr. Masters nothing has been said officially, but like he said the Americans are not very likely to take this lying down. More than likely America will declare war on Japan any moment now!" Jessica said.  
  
"Oh god." Eliza moaned. "Jessica, you don't think they'll take Edward to fight do you?"  
  
"With all due respect Ma'am, the Master is hardly up to fighting is he?" Jessica said comfortingly. "No I am sure the Master will be fine."  
  
"Yes of course." Eliza agreed and Jessica left the room to do something up in the nursery.  
  
*****  
  
"Eliza you won't believe the news!" Edward said later that afternoon when he burst into the house. Jessica had gone to collect the children and Eliza was pottering around the house.  
  
"Jessica took the children over to Rick's to play, and Mr. Masters was there and he told her. I can't believe that the Japanese would be so stupid." Eliza said, shaking her head. "Are America in the war now?"  
  
"They're going to declare war on Japan any moment." Edward said, looking at his wife thoughtfully. "But there's something else I want to talk to you about!"  
  
"There is?" Eliza asked, wondering what on earth it could be.  
  
"Eliza, I've noticed you've been looking peaky lately. Are you alright?" Edward asked.  
  
Eliza sighed. "To tell you the truth Edward I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I do feel tired a lot, and sick..."  
  
"Maybe I'll have to take you to the doctors?" Edward suggested.  
  
"No, I'm not sick. I'm just rundown I think." Eliza assured her husband. "And now that America are in the war it's going to make me even worse!"  
  
"Maybe.." Edward agreed. To Eliza he looked as though he were debating whether or not to speak about something. Then he said "I've been thinking that perhaps we should send you and the children out into the country for a bit?"  
  
Eliza frowned. "Why?" She asked bluntly. Surely there wasn't something he wasn't telling her about whether or not she was in danger in Liverpool!  
  
"Because I think you need a holiday. And the country and the fresh air would do you a world of good sweetie. And the children too of course." Edward explained.  
  
"Hmmm." Eliza murmured. "Maybe you're right- maybe that's a good idea. But what about you? I noticed you didn't mention your plans anywhere in there?"  
  
"I couldn't go anywhere of course because of the business. It would be a terrible time to neglect it!" Edward said. "But I don't think that this really matters much anyway, after all you'll only be there a few weeks. And we're not likely to get bombed again with the Germans having their hands full with other matters at the moment."  
  
"I guess it would be a nice change..." Eliza mused.  
  
Edward smiled. He hadn't known that it would be this easy to convince her to go, she must be feeling worse than he knew. But it would do her good, and then she'd come home and be the old Eliza again. 


	39. 39

Herefordshire, December 11, 1941.  
  
"Ben are you playing at war again?" Eliza asked, popping her head out of the window.  
  
Her son and daughter, and the two boys who lived on the farm where they were staying looked up embarrassed. Ben and the younger of the two boys had Margaret and the older boy standing with their hands on their heads in a classic pose of surrender.  
  
"Well Mama I'm just practicing. In case I have to go to war to fight the damn Germans!" Ben complained.  
  
Eliza's eyes widened. "Benjamin Gracie don't let me hear another swear word come out of your mouth or you'll be sorry. And besides your seven years old, by the time your old enough to fight the war will be long over. I've told you that on a few occasions." She said.  
  
Ben shrugged and then said, "Well can we at least play cowboys and Indians?" He asked.  
  
"You can play anything you like- just not war. I've had it up to here with war." Eliza replied.  
  
"Had it up to where Mama?" Margaret inquired.  
  
Eliza laughed. "That's just a figure of speech sweetie." She explained.  
  
"Mama they had Indians back home didn't they?" Ben asked.  
  
"Yes Ben there were." Eliza replied. Sometimes Ben surprised her by saying something like that to remind her that he still thought of America as home despite having been in England for most of his life. However with Margaret having been born in England she thought differently.  
  
"Are they playin' happily miss?" The farmer's wife asked as she came into the kitchen.  
  
"They are now- after I stopped them playing war." Eliza replied.  
  
"Well I suppose it's different for you havin' lived through all the bombing and all, but up here we're basically untouched by the war, except Marline Hamilton's fiancée, young Jack, being killed. Lovely young lad he was too. Breaks your heart don't it?" The farmer's wife said. "So my younguns like to play at it."  
  
"That's all fair and well, but I just don't want to see my children playing it. You'd think there would be plenty of other violent games they can play." Eliza replied, dropping into a seat at the kitchen table where she had been sitting writing a letter to Edward before the sounds of the children's playing had distracted her and made her move over to the window.  
  
  
  
"Aye, Aye." The farmer's wife replied. "Well I must be away to my milking. Ever since the man who worked for us joined up things have been mighty tough round here. That's why I jumped at the chance of you three coming here for a few weeks. Helps us with the money like."  
  
"Yes, things have been tough for everyone." Eliza said. "I know a few people back in Liverpool who've lost their houses in the bombs. They've got to start all over again. I don't think I could do that."  
  
"Aye it would be hard." The farmer's wife said as she left the kitchen.  
  
Eliza could have sat in the nice sitting room provided for her and the children, but with the smell of bread baking, and the warmth of the oven, the kitchen was far nicer. The cottage was relatively small, but with many other women and children from the cities staying out in the country places were scare. And really it was pleasant enough.  
  
Eliza continued with her letter:  
  
'..and you should have been here to see Ben milk his first cow. The farmer showed him how to and he did it, and he was so proud. And now he spends a portion of his day every day watching the cows. I think he has visions of a pet cow back home. I've told him Liverpool is not the place for a cow, but of course he won't listen. As for Margaret; well at first she was scared of all the animals, but now she's getting better. One of the farm cats has recently had kittens and if we lose Margaret we know we can find her playing with the kittens.  
  
The farmer and his family are nice enough, although real country folk. Early to bed, early to rise. Simple folk, with simple pleasures. To me this is completely refreshing from some of the snobs we've encountered through life. When I'm older I wouldn't mind retiring to the countryside with a small property where I could sit outside in the sunshine and fresh air and read or knit. Pipe dreams, I know.  
  
Anyway darling I must close here as I am planning on walking into the small township to post this and get some supplies. I don't know how long it will take to reach you- perhaps we shall be home before it with this wartime post and all?  
  
Much love always, Eliza."  
  
*****  
  
"You're staying with the Hamilton's right?" The lady in the general shop asked later that day, leaning on the counter ready for a nice chat.  
  
"Yes we are, but only for a few weeks. I want to be back in Liverpool for Christmas with my husband." Eliza replied.  
  
"You're not English though, are you?" The lady asked. "You sound American, but there's something else in your voice, another place..."  
  
"I was born in Sweden." Eliza replied, surprised that the woman had picked it. After spending most of her life in America Eliza considered herself completely American.  
  
"Aye that's it. Rough time you people are having isn't it? Got any relatives over there?" The lady asked.  
  
  
  
"I don't know to be honest." Eliza admitted. "We went to America when I was six, and my parents both died aboard the Titanic."  
  
"My sister's husband, Joseph, was the Titanic's fourth officer. They live in Hull. Terrible thing it was, wasn't it? Fair shattered Joe, he's never been the same since." The lady said with a shake of her head. "Small world we live in ain't it?"  
  
"Very small." Eliza agreed. "I'm sorry to be rude, but I've got to get back to the farm. God only knows what mischief my children are up to with me not there to keep an eye on them."  
  
"The Hamilton children are sensible enough. They'll keep an eye on your ones." The lady assured Eliza. "Which reminds me- you'll still be here on the 17th won't you?"  
  
"Yes, we're returning to Liverpool on the 20th." Eliza replied. "My husband would have liked us out here longer but with Christmas and all..."  
  
"Aye, children need both their parents during Christmas. Especially during these bleak times." The lady replied. "What I was going to say was the Barnies are passing through and putting on a show on the 17th. Your young ones would fair love it!"  
  
"The Barnies?" Eliza repeated.  
  
"Aye, they're tinkers most of them and they travel the country putting on shows in people's barns." The lady explained.  
  
"I'm sorry, I don't think I've heard the term tinker before." Eliza said.  
  
"Tinkers are gypsies." The lady explained. "Anyway the show is great, you're young ones will love it. No doubt the Hamilton children will be going."  
  
"Oh, well I'll have to ask the children, but I'm sure they'll say yes. Thank you for letting me know." Eliza said, and then she left the shop and walked slowly back to the farm savoring the piece and quiet of the country. Where they'd lived in Philadelphia hadn't been the country, but their big estate had provided them with some quiet. As she walked she let herself hum a song, and smiled. Edward would be delighted at how much difference only a few days had already made. By the time she got back to Liverpool he'd hardly know her! 


	40. 40

[A/N. With regards to the review about making Rose reappear it's actually quite funny you should say that as I was thinking that Eliza and Edward would go to a show or something and Rose would be the star of it. Sort of like a cheer up for people during the war. But I was not sure how I could really put her into the story since she doesn't know Eliza or Edward. Unless of course, she has read about things in the paper?! I don't know yet, but we'll see. Also this chapter doesn't have an exact date as it is basically going to cover the few days leading up to Christmas, as well as Christmas itself. Cheers!]  
  
Liverpool, Christmas, 1941.  
  
"..and then the tinkers brought out this horsey-" Margaret was saying.  
  
"-But it wasn't a real horse Daddy!" Ben interrupted. "People were just inside the horse costume."  
  
"And the horsey did all these funny things." Margaret concluded.  
  
Edward and Eliza exchanged smiles. When he'd picked them up at the station he had been very grateful to see the smile on Eliza's face, and to note that the country air had done wonders for her previously pale and wan complexion.  
  
"So you had a good time then children?" Edward said.  
  
"A great time Daddy!" Ben corrected.  
  
*****  
  
After the children were in bed Edward and Eliza sat up discussing things.  
  
"I've spoken to Mother while you were away. Father hasn't told me this, but he's pretty sick. Mother seems to think it's his pride getting in the way of telling me. Luckily of course she has no such qualms." Edward said sighing. "I hate the thought of us being over here when he's back there unwell."  
  
"You mean you want to go back?" Eliza asked a thoughtful look on her face.  
  
"Of course I'd like to, but there are a few other things I'd have to organise before I could even think about leaving the country." Edward replied, taking a sip of his brandy. Eliza had a mug of warm tea in her hands. The fire was roaring, and Eliza was still cold. Of course there had been winters in America but even though she'd been living in England for six years Eliza was still not used to the freezing English winters.  
  
"Such as?" Eliza asked.  
  
"Well the business for one. I'm sure I could leave it in the hands of Simpson. He's a bright enough man, and very capable and trustworthy. I'm sure he'd handle it all fine if I let him manage the English side of the business." Edward said.  
  
"Forever?" Eliza asked.  
  
Edward shrugged. "I don't know to be honest. And of course my other main concern is you and the children." He said.  
  
Eliza raised an eyebrow. "What about us?" She asked. And then a thought occurred to her. "You're not going to go back to America and leave us here are you?"  
  
"Well," Edward admitted. "That was my first thought. With America now well and truly involved in the war I'm hesitant about taking my family on a ship- "  
  
"-Edward, I don't want to be left here!" Eliza said unhappily. "I don't think I could cope- and what if the bombings start again?"  
  
"They won't." Edward assured her. "But you didn't let me finish. After thinking about this I decided that I couldn't leave you here. But I also resolved to let you make up your own mind. After all it could be dangerous."  
  
Eliza took another sip of her drink before responding. "Danger or not, I wouldn't mind being back in America. We're coming with you Edward. How soon do you think we'll be leaving?"  
  
"Well there are a few things to organise like I said, and also we'll have to arrange for the sale of the house...It probably won't be until the end of January."  
  
*****  
  
When Eliza and Edward were woken by the children on Christmas Day Eliza looked out the window. Despite the fact that it had been snowing all night the sun was shining brightly, making the snow gleam.  
  
"Come on!" Ben begged. "We want to see our presents."  
  
Edward sighed and rolled over. "You go downstairs then to your sacks, and we'll be down in a minute. But you know not to touch the wrapped presents!"  
  
  
  
Ben and Margaret raced off and Edward sighed. "What time is it?" He asked his wife.  
  
"Seven thirty." She replied with a yawn. "But that's a lot better than six o'clock the last few years!"  
  
"A lot better!" Edward agreed, and they got up and put on their dressing gowns to go downstairs.  
  
Despite money being tight Edward and Eliza had still managed to get quite a few presents for the children. By the tree Ben and Margaret were surrounded by toys, games and books.  
  
"Look Mama, look Daddy." Ben cried excitedly, showing them a toy plane. "Look what Santa gave me."  
  
Eliza smiled, and knelt down on the floor next to him. "Wow, that's pretty terrific." She said. "Santa must have thought you've been very good this year."  
  
"Look at my doll Mama." Margaret said, and she held it up. "See Daddy?"  
  
"Isn't she pretty? Look at her hair- it's just like yours, except hers is golden curls, and yours are brown curls." Edward replied.  
  
The present opening went on for awhile, until soon the only presents under the tree were the ones for Jessica and her daughter, and also the Cook, who had graciously offered to come in that afternoon to help with the Christmas meal.  
  
"Mama, in "A Christmas Carol" Scrooge is visited by the ghosts of the past, present and future right?" Ben asked.  
  
Eliza had read the story to them the night before, and while Margaret hadn't really appreciated it, Ben had loved it. "That's right sweetie." Eliza said.  
  
"Well why would he be visited by the ghost of presents? He wouldn't even be getting and presents and even if he did he'd buy them for himself. So how can there be a ghost of presents?" Ben asked.  
  
Eliza had to stifle a laugh, and she couldn't look at Edward for fear of laughing. "Dickens meant presence- as in p-r-e-s-e-n-c-e. He was visited by the ghost of the present time. Not presents as in Christmas presents." Eliza tried to explain. To her the explanation sounded muddled, but she wasn't really sure how to word it. Luckily Ben accepted that.  
  
"Okay children, one last surprise for you." Edward said. He and Eliza had decided to tell the children the news about going back to America, although not the reason why they were going.  
  
"Another one?" Margaret asked. "Where is it?"  
  
"It's not a present as such," Edward said. "We're going to be leaving England and going back home to America."  
  
Their reactions were mixed. Ben was excited, and Margaret wasn't.  
  
"But America is not home. Here is home!" She complained.  
  
"America is our home!" Ben argued with her. "Mama and Daddy have lived there a lot longer than here! And our grandparents are there!"  
  
"But I like it here." Margaret said sadly.  
  
"Oh sweetie, come here." Eliza said, and Margaret obediently came over to climb onto her Mother's lap. "I know you like it here, and we like it here too of course. But it'll be safer in America, and you're going to live in a bigger house than here with lots of garden to play in. And you'll get to meet your grandparents, and more than likely they'll spoil you rotten." At least she knew the Colonel would if he weren't too sick. Even though it had been six years since Eliza had seen Mrs. Gracie she was convinced she couldn't have changed too much. But then maybe the war and the grandchildren would soften her feelings?  
  
"Yeah Margaret, America is great!" Ben said, even though he couldn't remember it since he'd been a baby when they'd moved to England.  
  
"Well," Margaret said with a sigh. "I guess it can't be too bad. Can I go back to playing with my doll now Mama?"  
  
"Sure sweetie. I've got to get dressed and get a start on some things for dinner so that Cook doesn't have to do too much." Eliza replied.  
  
The children went back to playing and Eliza and Edward went and dressed.  
  
"I guess this means that we're definitely going." Eliza said with a sigh.  
  
"You do want to don't you?" Edward asked anxiously.  
  
"Of course I want to!" Eliza assured him. "I was just thinking that Liverpool has become like home to me. It's going to be weird being back over there."  
  
"But as long as we're all together it'll be fine." Edward reminded her, and she laughed and hugged him.  
  
"Right." She agreed. 


	41. 41

[A/N. I forgot to mention in my A/N in the last chapter that I have let Rose be in my story occasionally- for example when Eliza was living with in New Hampshire working the young boy was talking about his friends the Calverts? I just wasn't sure how to reintroduce her into the story. Now, however, I am. Although it needs to be noted she is not going to become an integral part of the story. At least not at this stage in my writing.]  
  
London, February 1, 1942.  
  
"Mama this city is so big." Ben whispered to Eliza tugging on her hand. "Why couldn't we go on a boat from Liverpool?"  
  
"Because your father has to wrap up some last business here and then we're going to go somewhere else to catch the boat." Eliza replied absently. She was also gazing out of the windows of the taxi they'd hired to take them from the train station to their hotel. Of course having lived in New York for a few years it wasn't so much the size of the place which she was marveling at, but more the spirit of the English people. London had taken the most enormous battering from the German's of anywhere, and from the attitudes of the people there you'd hardly know it. It reminded Eliza of a saying she'd heard somewhere once- something about through adversity comes strength or something. And that was so true!  
  
"And because Mama and Daddy are going to a play tonight." Margaret chimed in.  
  
"Well sweetie the tickets were free, and we were just lucky to be here at a time we could use them. And don't worry- you'll be fine where you'll be." Eliza replied.  
  
The taxi stopped out the front of the hotel, and Edward helped Eliza out. The children jumped out excitedly. They were excited about staying in the hotel, and they were excited about going on a ship, and they were also excited about going to America.  
  
As Eliza was walking into the hotel she stopped dead, and Edward stopped too and looked at her in confusion. "What sweetie?" He asked.  
  
"That soldier, is he in an American uniform?" Eliza asked.  
  
Edward glanced over and then nodded. "He is. I heard rumors that the first American troops arrived here the other day- I guess they must be true." He'd also heard about how the German's had began a U-boat offensive along the east coast of the USA a couple of weeks ago, but there was no way he was going to tell Eliza this- she was worried enough when on a ship as it were.  
  
Eliza nodded but said nothing; instead she followed the children into the hotel. The hotel itself was a four star one and quite nice. The children of course were amazed at the fact that it had a pool and gym as well as the dining room. "Can't we stay here instead of going back to America?" Ben asked, making Eliza and Edward both laugh.  
  
*****  
  
"I feel underdressed." Eliza whispered to Edward later that night as they were being shown to their seats in the nice theatre.  
  
"You look beautiful." Edward assured her, but even so Eliza self- consciously tugged at her coat, and wished the dress she was wearing was a little newer. Because of the war many thing were harder to obtain, including clothes.  
  
"Relax. Have fun!" Edward told her and she sighed and settled into the comfortable chair and glanced through the program. Then she almost dropped the book in shock. Playing the part of Emma was none other than Rose Calvert! Cal's Rose!  
  
"Edward," Eliza nudged him. "The woman playing the lead here is Cal's ex fiancée Rose."  
  
"What?" Edward looked surprised. "Eliza, Rose died on the Titanic!"  
  
"She didn't die." Eliza insisted. "Cal found a photo of her in the paper although at the time she was going by the name of Rose Dawson. Dawson after Jack, the man she met on the Titanic and fell in love with. Cal had an entire draw full of clippings about her."  
  
Edward looked a little disbelieving. "Well if she was how come Cal didn't confront her? And for that matter how come nobody else has?"  
  
"I can only answer the first part- I think Cal was too scared. She'd chosen someone, a third class man no less, over him. It hurt him. Besides, he'd got a new wife, had a new life..." Eliza explained.  
  
Edward wasn't really sure what to say. Luckily the lights went down and he was saved from having to comment. It all seemed a little unbelievable to him! The play was wonderful and at the end he was glad they'd gotten the tickets. Just when they were getting up to go the stage lights went on, and Rose Calvert stepped onto the stage, waving at the crowd for their attention.  
  
"I just wanted to thank you all for having been such a great audience whilst we've been over here. The last two months have been marvelous- there's no way you'd get a reception like I have here over in America. Unfortunately I must tell you this is my last performance here. My husband received a telegram and there has been a death in the family, and as such we've managed to get ourselves a spot on a ship sailing in a few days time from Southampton." Rose explained. "I hate to cut this short, but it really is important we get back to America. Once again, thank you all for your hospitality. I'd forgotten what England was really like." And there was a wistful tone in her voice when she said that.  
  
"I'm telling you that woman was engaged to Cal!" I told Edward. "I wonder if anyone else knows. Surely her mother would know, if she saw her?"  
  
"Who knows?" Edward replied. "Come one, there's going to be a queue for the taxis!"  
  
*****  
  
Edward hurried off to see a porter about making sure that their luggage was loaded onto the train. They had very little since most of it had been sent ahead to Southampton before they had stopped for the two days in London. Eliza listened in as Ben explained to Margaret about the English rail system which went under the city. "In America we'd call it a subway." He told her. "Here it's the underground or the tube. In France it's the Metro. In one of the cities in Australia it's called the loop."  
  
Eliza couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, as she wondered where her son had learnt this information. And then, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed none other than Rose Calvert and her husband and three children waiting on the platform. Rose was trying to calm the children whilst her husband was attending to some problem or something. She must have noticed Eliza staring at her since she glanced up and gave Eliza a weak smile. Eliza smiled back in sympathy- her children seemed a rather boisterous lot!  
  
  
  
Edward came back then to tell them the luggage was all sorted out, and if they wanted to go to the toilet they better go now since it would be awhile before they got the chance to go again. 


	42. 42

Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, February 4, 1941.  
  
Eliza and Edward strolled around the deck of the boat, arms linked, while the children hurried ahead of them, occasionally stopping to lean on the railing and look down into the ocean below. Every time they did this Eliza's heart would give an involuntary lurch, but she assured herself she was just being silly. Her children were smart enough to know they shouldn't lean all the way over.  
  
"Mama!" Ben called suddenly. "Daddy! Quick!"  
  
Eliza turned around to where her son was leaning over the railing behind them. She didn't see Margaret and she immediately jumped to the conclusion that Ben's cry had something to do with her daughter. She ran across the deck to him.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?" She asked frantically.  
  
Ben looked at his mother in surprise. "Nothing's wrong Mama. I wanted you to see the dolphins." He said pointing down into the water.  
  
"Where's Margaret?" Eliza demanded, her heart still pounding.  
  
"There." Ben pointed to where Margaret was crouched on the deck playing with a baby and its mother.  
  
Eliza felt faint, and if Edward hadn't been there to support her she would have fallen onto the floor. As it was she was trembling so much Edward had to help her back down to their suite. He left the children in their room with firm instructions not to move an inch and then helped his wife to lie down on the bed. He poured her a glass of water and gave it to her, and then sat beside her on the bed.  
  
Finally Eliza spoke up. "I'm sorry." She said. "I know I overreacted but I thought that Margaret had drowned."  
  
"You've been jumpy this whole trip so far." Edward said thoughtfully. "The children have even noticed it, and I just tell them you get seasick and it effects you."  
  
"I'm sorry." Eliza said again, but her husband shook his head.  
  
"Don't be sorry sweetie. You can't help it. It's because of what happened on the Titanic isn't it?" Edward asked.  
  
Eliza nodded slowly. "I think so. After seeing all those people die." She shuddered. "I always thought it didn't effect me, but I guess I was wrong."  
  
"It would have effected everyone, just in different ways." Edward suggested. "I wish I knew what to say to make it better, but I don't."  
  
Eliza sat up, and pushed her hair from her face. "I'll try not to panic in future." She promised.  
  
"Eliza I don't expect you to do that." Edward said with a sigh. "I understand that you would be scared to be on the ocean again. I'm just concerned that it might ruin the trip for the children."  
  
Eliza felt like he'd slapped her. Her dear, understanding husband, who had never once in their marriage ever said anything like that to her. Never before had he ever blamed her for anything! "I'll try and lighten up." She said coldly.  
  
Edward nodded and then stood up. "Stay here and rest, I'm going to look after the children for a bit."  
  
Eliza didn't protest. She knew a rest would do her the world of good after the shock she'd just had. When Edward left the room she buried her head in the pillow and cried. She didn't want to ruin the trip for the children, she wanted them to see it all as the adventure she'd promised them. She resolved to try and keep calm, for the children, but also to show Edward she could do it. She wasn't sure what had prompted his sharp complaint, but she knew it wasn't like him.  
  
*****  
  
Eliza glanced at the clock. She'd been asleep for almost two hours and Edward and the children still weren't back. She stood up and glanced at herself in the mirror. Her hair was messy, and her clothes were rumpled but at that moment she didn't care. She wanted some fresh air and she was going to get some regardless of how she looked.  
  
As she stood at the railing gazing out to sea she sensed rather than saw, someone come to stand next to her. After a few minutes the stranger said, "I hate the ocean. I try to tell myself it's a completely irrational fear, but nonetheless I hate it. If it weren't for the children I'd spend the entire crossing in my cabin."  
  
"I know what you mean." Eliza said earnestly. "I'm always frightened the children are going to fall overboard. I'm ruining their trip by being a paranoid mother." And she turned to see who she was speaking to. There, standing beside her, looking like she did in all the papers, was Rose Calvert.  
  
"I had some..um...distant relatives who died on board the Titanic and I think it's made me nervous." Rose admitted, with a sigh.  
  
Eliza bit back her reply. She wanted to tell Rose that she knew who she really was, and that so had Cal, but she didn't. After all, Rose had clearly made another life for herself, and who was she, Eliza, to ruin that for her? Who knew what really had happened between Cal and Rose, after all she'd only heard Cal's story. Maybe there was more to the story than Eliza knew, and maybe Rose had done the right thing by turning her back on who she was. Instead she said, "So did my parents. I was lucky."  
  
Rose looked horrified. "Oh my, that's terrible." She said. "And here's me complaining about my problems when yours are far worse."  
  
Eliza laughed weakly. "Are you going to tell me I need a straight-jacket? My usually supportive husband seems to think I do. He actually told me today that even though he understood my reaction he didn't want me to ruin things for the children."  
  
Rose looked thoughtful. "So that's where your comment came from?" she mused. "You said you're scared that your children are going to fall overboard?"  
  
Eliza nodded.  
  
"Well maybe- and if I'm overstepping my mark here you can tell me- but maybe your fears not stemming from the Titanic exactly. I mean, you're not worrying about whether the ship is going to sink or not are you?" Rose asked.  
  
"No, I did on the way over here, but no, not now." Eliza replied.  
  
"Well maybe your worry is more from love for your children, and perhaps even life during the war than anything?" Rose suggested.  
  
Eliza considered this. It was entirely possible.  
  
"My ex fiancée used to tell me I should be a psychiatrist. He said I always loved to analyse people. Over-analyse in fact." Rose said with a laugh. "I used to drive the poor man crazy."  
  
Eliza held her breath. Was she speaking about Cal? How she dearly wished to ask her whether she was really Cal's Rose, but she knew she couldn't. It wasn't fair.  
  
"I suppose we're both lucky things didn't work out between us." Rose said with a slight smile. "We'd have driven each other crazy. We were completely incompatible."  
  
"Why?" Eliza asked before she could help herself. Then she could have kicked herself. Wouldn't Rose think it strange that Eliza, a complete stranger, was so interested in her?  
  
"Oh he was into money, and status and material things. I wanted to change the world." Rose laughed out loud. "I actually thought if I did something it would make a difference. The things we think when we're younger hmmm?"  
  
Eliza sighed and leant over the railing watching the water below.  
  
"Listen I better get back to my husband and the children. Why don't you and your family join us for dinner tonight?" Rose offered.  
  
Eliza smiled. "I'd like that- I'm sorry, I don't think we've even introduced ourselves!" She looked ashamed, but Rose laughed.  
  
"You're right. I'm Rose Calvert." She said.  
  
"Eliza Gracie." Eliza replied.  
  
"Well Eliza Gracie, we'll see you at dinner." Rose said, and she left.  
  
Eliza stood there for a few more minutes before turning and going back inside.  
  
Edward and the children were in the cabin and Edward was pacing the room when Eliza entered.  
  
"Eliza, where on earth were you?" Edward asked, coming over to her.  
  
"I woke up and decided to get some fresh air." Eliza said, surprised at his reaction.  
  
"Ben, can you take Margaret into your room?" Edward asked and Ben obeyed. The moment they were gone Edward turned back to Eliza. "Have you got any idea how worried I was to find you gone? Especially considering you've been too scared to go on the deck alone."  
  
"Well you needn't have worried." Eliza said coldly. "I did some thinking and I decided to face my fears. I don't think that my worries about the children have anything to do with the Titanic."  
  
"Indeed?" Edward asked curious.  
  
"After all I'm not worrying about the ship sinking am I? I'm worrying about them falling overboard. I think my worry stems from all the close shaves we had with the German's bombing us." Eliza explained. "So maybe now you needn't worry about me ruining everyone's trip!"  
  
Edward sighed. "Eliza I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm worried about things myself and I took it out on you."  
  
Eliza came over to put her hand on his arm. "Edward, what are you worried about?"  
  
"Father, business, war..." Edward said. He still hadn't told Eliza about the rumors he'd heard about the German U-Boats, but in all honesty she'd hardly been in the mood to hear that kind of thing, had she?  
  
Eliza leant her head against Edward's arm. "Everything is going to be all right." She said, sounding braver than she felt. For once it seemed that she had to be the brave one of the two. Even if she didn't believe it.  
  
Edward smiled faintly. "Of course it is." He agreed.  
  
"Oh- and I didn't tell you but we've got a dinner date tonight with the Calverts. I didn't know they were on this ship, but I was speaking to Rose up on the deck. She's lovely." Eliza said. "I'm surer than I was before that she's Cal's Rose, but I'm not going to mention that to her. I'm sure she's put all that out of her mind and built her new life."  
  
Edward nodded. "I'm sure she has. And they've got children too don't they? It'd be good for Ben and Margaret to have someone to play with."  
  
"And you can have someone to talk business too." Eliza teased him.  
  
"And you can have someone to gossip with." Edward teased her back.  
  
Eliza laughed, glad that things were all right between them now. And hopeful that maybe she'd cured her excessive worrying. 


	43. 43

Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, February 4, 1941.  
  
"Ben come here for a moment and let Mama fix your shirt." Eliza said later that night as they were dressing for dinner.  
  
"Nothin' wrong with my shirt." Ben muttered sulkily, but he came forward and let his mother fix it regardless.  
  
"Now I want both of you to be on your best behavior tonight." Eliza said fixing both her children with a stern look. "Mama really likes this woman and it would be nice to have friends for the rest of the voyage don't you think?"  
  
"Does the lady have children Mama?" Margaret asked interested.  
  
"Her name is Rose thank you Margaret, but you will call her Mrs. Calvert." Eliza reminded her. "And yes, she has children. Three of them. You may or may not remember that we saw them at the station before we were leaving to get on the ship, and I would say that they'd be a similar age to you two."  
  
"Goody." Margaret said. "I wonder if they'll play dolls."  
  
"Stupid." Ben muttered and his sister glared at him.  
  
"Dolls are NOT stupid!" She said. "Trains are stupid. Trucks are stupid. Planes are stupid. Car-"  
  
Edward interrupted his daughter. She was at the age where she liked nothing better than to hear her own voice and could happily go on for hours. "All right, let's get going. I'm starving." He said, taking his children by their hands. Eliza smiled, checked her reflection in the mirror, and followed them slowly. She had been wondering that afternoon why she was so anxious to make friends with Rose and her family? Surely it couldn't simply be because she knew who Rose really was and therefore how hard life could have been for her? She told herself it was nothing more than the fact that the crossing would be a lot easier if there were people to share it all with.  
  
Rose, her husband and the children were waiting out the front of the dining room. "Hello Eliza, and you must be Edward. Eliza told me all about you." Rose said, stepping forward and holding out her hand.  
  
"Nothing bad I hope?" Edward said with a grin.  
  
"Not at all." Rose assured him. "This is my husband, and my three children. Carmel is the oldest, she's nearly fifteen. Then comes Harrison who is ten, and Eleanor who is eight."  
  
"I'm eight and Margaret is six." Ben told Rose.  
  
"Yes, your mother told me. Shall we go inside and sit down? I'm sure the children are getting rather hungry by now." Rose suggested, and they trooped inside to the rather large table which was able to accommodate them all. As a general rule in first class dining rooms children didn't always eat with their parents, however in wartime rules were somewhat relaxed and parents often wanted their children near them where they could see them.  
  
As they waited for the meal to be served the two husbands got into a conversation about politics and war, and the children into a discussion of their favorite games and toys. Rose smiled at Eliza. "I'm glad they're getting along so well. The only thing I was really worried about on this voyage was the fact that we were going to be alone. It'll be nice to have someone to chat to!"  
  
Eliza laughed. "You're telling me. But then I've never really had any close friends..."  
  
Rose looked thoughtful. "I guess I haven't either. I mean when I was a young girl I did, but after that I never really did. I was too busy trying to make a career out of acting I suppose. How come you never had any close friends?" She asked.  
  
"Well I told you my parents died on the Titanic right?" Eliza asked, and Rose nodded. "I was taken in by a wealthy man who basically put me through school and then helped me to get work, but it was hard for me since no self respecting member of society would willingly be a good friend of an orphan. And a third class orphan at that."  
  
Rose frowned. "That just burns me up. It always has. And let me tell you that I've found some of the nicer people are also the poorer ones. I was always brought up to think like that, to be the perfect lady. I ended up rebelling. If Mother knew I was an actress..." She trailed off with a sigh. Her eyes gazed off into the distance and Eliza wondered whether she was thinking about what had happened to her on the Titanic. After all her comment about poor people being nicer than rich people, surely that was referring to the young man she'd met on board the Titanic? A "gutter rat" Cal had called him.  
  
Eliza decided to take pity on her and change the subject. After all, as she'd decided back in her suite that afternoon she wasn't going to let Rose know she knew her little secret. "As glad as I'll be to be away from the bombing and terrible things in Liverpool I have to confess I'm a little nervous that things might end up like that in America with America joining the war and all. Edward has been assuring me this won't happen and that at forty-six he's too old to be called to the war." She said. Eliza also had a feeling that if Edward were a little younger he'd have been more than willing to go and fight for America. After all his father was a Colonel and he'd grown up hearing about the army and war.  
  
Rose sighed, and leant closer to Eliza. "I have another son, he's twenty nine and he's fighting at this very moment." She said with a sigh. "Every night I pray to god to bring Jackson home safely to his family. He's got a wife and baby too."  
  
Eliza looked shocked. "You must have been very young when you had him." She said.  
  
Rose looked away a moment, and then looked back with a slight smile. "I was. Very young. But I'm very glad I had him. He's the only reminder I have of someone who was very, very dear to me. And I'm very lucky that my husband was more than willing to take him on, and even let him take his name." She said.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." Eliza apologized hastily. "I was just surprised to hear it."  
  
"Nonsense it wasn't rude at all!" Rose assured her. "I'd have said exactly the same thing if it were me in your place."  
  
The meals arrived then and Rose and Eliza busied themselves making sure the children were all right. Eliza watched as Carmel showed Eleanor how to make sure her napkin was spread correctly on her knee. Rose caught Eliza's eye and smiled apologetically. "I was brought up very correctly, and I guess old habits die hard."  
  
Eliza smiled politely. It didn't bother her whether or not Rose had her children behave properly or not. She was thinking about what Rose had just said. Could it be that her first son was actually the child of the man Cal had told her about, Jack? The fact that his name was Jackson seemed to point to that.  
  
After the meal was over Rose smiled at Eliza. "It was nice to have some company dining. We'll have to do it again." She said. "And the children all seemed to get along well, no doubt they'll be wanting to play together."  
  
"Definitely." Eliza agreed.  
  
*****  
  
Later that night as they were getting ready for bed Eliza related all she had learnt about Rose to her husband. "I told you that she was Cal's Rose. Cal wouldn't have mistaken something like that. It's probably lucky he never knew she had a child with that Jack fellow."  
  
Edward yawned tiredly. "And you didn't tell her that you knew it was her?" He asked getting into bed.  
  
"Why would I?" Eliza replied. "I have the feeling she's had a hard enough life without me telling her I know who she really is. It must have been hard to turn her back on everything she knew and had to make a life for herself and her young child. She went from being a rich, pampered young woman, to nothing. Somehow I think we're kindred spirits in a way since life was not exactly easy for me."  
  
"I have to admit, it'll be nice to have someone to talk to on the crossing." Edward said. "And the children all seemed to get along well."  
  
"Yes, they did, didn't they?" Eliza said getting into bed too. "Maybe this trip wont be as long and boring as I was worried it would."  
  
"Mmm." Edward replied.  
  
  
  
[A/N. I don't suppose anyone can remember the name of Rose's husband, Mr. Calvert? I had this inkling it was Nathan, but I think this simply came from the fact that it was Nathan Hockley. Anyway, if anyone knows I'd be glad to know also so I can call him by his name in this story. BTW just because Rose is in the story at the moment don't think it's going to start becoming a "Rose story". I don't think she is going to be a permanent, or main character in this story.] 


	44. 44

[A/N. This chapter wasn't one that was going to be written, but I have to admit I bowed to pressure. Because it wasn't part of my plan for Eliza I'm not too sure how it came out, but I hope it's all right?]  
  
Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, February 1941.  
  
"I'm glad the children are getting along so well." Rose said a few days later as she and Eliza watched the five children happily playing on the deck. Both women were seated on deck chairs comfortably.  
  
"Yes, so am I. Even though Ben and Margaret usually get along well I think that with this trip being so long it may have tested them." Eliza said. "And of course Edward loves having someone to talk "man talk" with!"  
  
Rose laughed, and then a strange look crossed her face as she said, "They retreat into a cloud of smoke and congratulate each other on being masters of the universe."  
  
Eliza nodded. "I couldn't put it any better myself." She said, with a little smile. There was the same faraway look in Rose's eyes as she'd had the other day.  
  
Rose sighed and shifted uncomfortably in her chair.  
  
Eliza leant closer towards her friend. "Are you all right? I hope you're not sick." She asked.  
  
Rose smiled weakly. "I'm not sick." She said. "Sometimes I just get caught up in my memories."  
  
"Oh," Eliza smiled too, and as she'd done the other day decided to change the subject. "So do I. There's one memory I'm going to have to relieve soon which I'm not looking forward to- my mother in law."  
  
Rose's eyes cleared and she laughed. "Is she terrible?"  
  
"Worse than terrible. She's never really forgiven me for marrying Edward. She had visions of him marrying someone more of his class shall we say?" Eliza said.  
  
"She sounds a lovely woman." Rose said sarcastically.  
  
  
  
"Mmm." Eliza replied. "Although I know she only ever wanted the best for her son. Maybe all mothers are like that- I don't really remember mine since she died when I was six."  
  
"My mother was a terrible snob." Rose said. "Sometimes it used to frustrate me so much, I wanted to just grab her and shake her and scream at her. But on the other hand I know she loved me dearly. I never wanted for anything growing up, and she always lavished attention on me. I think things changed a bit though when my father died. We had a lot of debts he'd left us, and things were pretty hard."  
  
Eliza looked thoughtful. "Is your mother dead?" She asked.  
  
Rose frowned. "I don't know to tell you the truth. I ran away when I was seventeen and I've not seen her since. Sometimes I wish I could see her but I know it could never be. Too much water has passed under the bridge."  
  
"It must have been hard to be on your own at seventeen." Eliza said sympathetically.  
  
"I wasn't completely alone. I had Jackson and the memories of the most wonderful person I'd ever met." Rose said, and Eliza held her breath, pretty sure that Rose was going to tell her about Jack Dawson, the man Cal always referred to as the "gutter rat", and the man Rose had left Cal for. "Jackson was the result of a man I met called Jack. Jack was the first man I ever gave myself too, and it was only the one time. When I found out I was pregnant I didn't hesitate in keeping the baby. I thought of it like a tie between Jack and I. Jack was my true love. The sort of love I felt for Jack is the sort of love one only feels once in a lifetime, and I certainly haven't felt like that since. To tell you the truth I often look forward to the time we can be together again."  
  
"What happened to you two?" Eliza asked, caught up in the story. From what she could gather from Cal Jack had probably died on board the Titanic.  
  
"Fate." Rose said with a sigh. "Fate intervened and I lost Jack. He died. At first I was upset but then I thought about him and I knew that he'd want me to live my life to the fullest and enjoy it as best as I could. But having said that I vowed never to forget him. And I never have.."  
  
"That's so sad." Eliza said, tears in her eyes. "I can't imagine what it would be like without Edward. To be honest I don't think I could go on."  
  
"Oh but you do go on." Rose assured her. "But they're always in your heart. Much of what I do- even acting, is for Jack."  
  
"MAMA!" Margaret called interrupting the moment. "I need to go to the..you know..."  
  
Eliza smiled slightly at her daughter and started to stand up, however Carmel stood up too. "I'll take her. You two look like you're having a heart to heart."  
  
"Thank you sweetie." Eliza said.  
  
Carmel took off with Margaret's hand in hers and Eliza looked into the distance. At the moment there was nothing but the dark blue of the ocean, however she knew in only three days they'd be docking in New York. She wondered what it would be like to be back in America. It had given her so many things, some good and others not so good. It had given her an education, a job and a family. It had taught her about prejudice and going without. But overriding all this was the fact that it had given her Cal, who had treated her almost as if she were his own daughter. Cal, who had provided for her, put her through school, helped her get work when there was some, and looked after her when there was none. Perhaps what Cal had done in taking her from the Titanic was selfish but if there was one thing the war had taught her was that the human instinct for survival burnt stronger than anything else. And no longer did Eliza harbor the slightest resentment towards the man and his actions.  
  
"My you look like you're having very deep and profound thoughts there." Rose teased her friend.  
  
Eliza made a decision then, and she hoped she wouldn't regret it. "I was thinking about the man who brought me up. Interestingly enough he also saved my life on the Titanic by taking me into a lifeboat with him. His name was Caledon Hockley."  
  
Rose made a strange noise then, and her face went pale. "Caledon Hockley?" She repeated.  
  
"Cal took me in and he treated me better than I could have expected to be treated. He sent me to school and then after I finished school he got me a job as a governess. When the depression began and work got scarce he brought me back home to look after me. Society used to wonder why he'd do it, but I worked it out." Eliza said, her eyes never leaving Rose's. "He only occasionally talked about her, but when he did I knew that what had happened had hurt him. He knew he'd done the wrong thing too. And by taking me in and helping me like he did, by giving me a home, an education and even a life, because without him I'm sure I'd be dead now, he hoped he would atone for his sins. He hoped that Rose would be pleased and realise he wasn't as bad as she'd thought."  
  
Rose broke the staring competition and looked away, and Eliza held her breath. Had she done the right thing by giving Rose this slightly garbled account of her life? She hadn't been able to express her feelings as well as she would normally have been able to, and she wondered whether she'd managed to get the message across.  
  
Finally Rose replied, "I was only seventeen when Cal and I got engaged, and I didn't even know my own mind. I thought Cal and life in American society was what I wanted, but it took someone else to make me see I'd never have been happy. I thought I loved Cal, maybe I did I don't really know, but I know now that it would never have worked between us. After the sinking I saw him come down to search for me, and I made my decision then and turned my back so he couldn't see me. Marrying Cal, especially after all Jack had taught me, would only ever have lead to pain and heartache for both of us."  
  
"Rose, Cal did love you." Eliza said.  
  
"I don't doubt that he did. Maybe it was more of a possessive love, like I was another thing he owned, I don't know. I didn't get the chance to work that out of course." Rose said, pushing her hair back from her face. "But you must believe me Eliza when I say that I would have caused Cal, and indeed myself, more pain by going back to him than I did leaving him. He'd have always been thinking about Jack and it wouldn't have been a proper marriage. By leaving him I gave us both the chance to have happy lives."  
  
"I'm not judging you Rose!" Eliza hastened to assure her. "I never would. In the last few days I've gotten to know you and I know you're one of the kindest people I've ever met!"  
  
Rose laughed, slightly hoarsely, and wiped a tear from her face. "Was he happy though?" She asked.  
  
Eliza didn't hesitate. "Yes, very happy." She promised. She didn't tell her about the pain of his first wife's death, nor the pain of his second wife and her taking the children to England, nor about Cal's violent end. She told Rose what Rose obviously wanted to hear.  
  
Rose smiled, and it looked to Eliza as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "I'm very glad to know that. It also makes me know even more that I did the right thing by not going back to him. Thank you Eliza."  
  
Eliza smiled back. "No problems." 


	45. 45

[A/N. Another smaller chapter, but I didn't want to continue it now because if I continued it to when they arrived back in Philly it would probably have become way too long- and besides, I've got to put this up now and go out!! ( ]  
  
New York, February, 1941.  
  
"Look Mama- it's New York!" Ben cried excitedly, leaning so far over the railing that Edward took hold of the back of his top. "Look Margaret- it's America!"  
  
Margaret was surveying the approaching city thoughtfully. Eliza felt a tug on her skirt and she knelt down to her daughter's level. "What is it sweetie?"  
  
"Mama, it looks like London." Margaret said.  
  
Eliza laughed. She supposed to someone Margaret's age the fact that they were both cities would make them look the same. "You'll soon find it's nothing like London, but you're going to love it anyway." Eliza promised her daughter before standing back up.  
  
Nearby Rose was standing with her husband and children, although the look on her face was slightly dreamy. She'd admitted to Eliza the day before that coming into New York on a ship didn't always have the fondest memories. For Eliza's part she didn't really remember the docking on the Carpethia after the sinking of the Titanic. She remembered being taken off the ship by a government official who had been looking at her with distaste though. "Great," He'd mumbled as though Eliza couldn't hear. "Another blasted orphan, and a dirty one at that." Eliza had put her head down and wondered what a comment like that heralded for her future in America. Now she turned to her husband with a smile.  
  
"Are you glad to be home?" She asked him.  
  
"It's funny," He replied with a small smile. "I thought this would be a great moment, but to tell you the truth I was used to England, and it feels kind of strange to be coming back here. And according to a gentleman I was talking to in the smoking room last night America's experience of the war is nothing like England's. They're too far away for Germany to bomb like they did in England, and nobodies on rations and such in America."  
  
Eliza took his hand. "I suppose America is home though, isn't it?"  
  
Edward nodded. "I'll always be an American, no matter where I live!" He said. "It's not exactly something that ever leaves you."  
  
Rose smiled over at them. "Heading back to Philly tonight?" She asked.  
  
"First train." Edward replied. "If Father wasn't so sick we'd stay a few days and let the kids experience New York, but as it is..well we'll have to bring them back another time."  
  
"Don't forget to write me Eliza- no excuses! I'm going back to the cabin for a bit- I feel slightly seasick. The waters in here always do that to me, nothing like calmer ocean waters." Rose told her and Eliza promised she'd remember. After Eliza had told Rose what she knew about Cal, and who Rose really was the two had become even closer, and Eliza knew they'd always remain in touch. Eliza also was pretty sure Rose was not seasick, but simply didn't want to relive the trauma of the entrance to New York twenty-nine years ago.  
  
"Look! The Statue of Liberty!" Ben cried pointing, and Margaret leant over to have a look.  
  
"What's she carrying?" She asked her father.  
  
"A torch." Edward replied, completely expecting that he'd know be bombarded with questions until Margaret knew everything about the Statue of Liberty and all she represented.  
  
"Oh okay, in case there's a blackout." Margaret replied nodding. "Good idea."  
  
Eliza and Edward's eyes met over the top of their children and they exchanged a silent smile. Out of the mouths of babes!  
  
It seemed to Eliza, to take forever before the ship finally came to a halt and they were allowed to leave. Edward had organized for most of the luggage to be sent on after them, and they were only taking the bare essentials on the train. Despite Ben's halfhearted protests that he wanted to see the city they went from the marina to the station. It would be a long trip to Philadelphia for the children, but Edward was anxious to get back to his father. The fact that he didn't know all the details and exactly how sick the Colonel was made it all that worse. At first the children were full of beams on the train, but eventually they fell asleep and it was then that Edward confessed his fears to his wife: "I just hope he's alive when I get there. And that he's coherent and can understand me."  
  
  
  
Eliza leant her head against his shoulder, and he put his arm around her. "I'm sure he's waiting for you to get there. Your fathers a tough, strong man Edward. He's not going to give in without a fight."  
  
Edward laughed. "You're right about that. I remember one time when I was younger Father decided he wanted to buy a racehorse, and Mother was against it. They were arguing about it at the dinner table and Mother eventually said "Oh shut up about it and eat your food!" So Father decided then and there he wasn't going to eat another morsel until Mother agreed about the horse. She laughed, thinking he was joking. Father didn't eat for nearly a week before Mother gave in! Only much later did we find out he'd been sneaking food, but that wasn't the point: he's a stubborn man!"  
  
Eliza laughed, picturing the scene in her mind. "See, he's not going to go anywhere until you get there sweetie."  
  
Edward sighed. "Let's hope you're right Eliza." 


	46. 46

[A/N. A lot longer chapter than I'd been planning, but I got sort of carried away with it all. Enjoy it anyway!]  
  
  
  
  
  
Philadelphia, February, 1941.  
  
  
  
'This place hasn't changed a bit! And to think we're at war and all!' Eliza thought as the taxi came to a stop out the front of the Gracie family home. Not that she really expected it to have changed too much- there was no way Mrs. Gracie would let something like a war get in the way of her life! Edward hurried from the car, and Eliza quickly took the children's hands in hers and followed her husband up the stairs. By the front door was a red sportscar and Eliza had to pull Ben away from admiring it.  
  
It's wonderful to have you back Mr. Edward." The butler said as he opened the door. There were tears in his eyes as he gazed fondly at the man he'd served for much of his life.  
  
"Thank you Maxwell, it's good to be back." Edward said, as he walked inside.  
  
The butler turned to Eliza and the children. "And Mrs. Eliza and my goodness gracious, look at young Ben. How grown up you look, how old are you now?"  
  
"I'm eight now, but Margaret's only six!" Ben told him proudly.  
  
"You ARE grown up." The butler said. "What do you children say you come with me and get something to eat? I bet you're starving."  
  
"Mama?" Ben asked looking to Eliza for answer. Even though he didn't remember this man it was clear he knew who he was.  
  
"That's a very good idea." Eliza said, and she smiled at the butler thankfully as he led the two children off with Margaret asking him whether he'd ever been to England?  
  
"Well I guess we better get up there and see him." Edward said, and he took his wife's hand and they started up the grand staircase. Before they were even halfway though Mrs. Gracie came out onto the landing. In Eliza's eyes she was still the same cold hard woman as she looked down at her, although it seemed in the few years they'd been gone she'd aged a bit.  
  
"Edward, I'm glad you could get back. Your father's been anxiously awaiting your arrival." She said.  
  
"Mother," Edward said, and he hurried up the stairs to embrace her, leaving Eliza to follow slowly. "Mother, tell me- what's wrong with Father? All you said in your letters were that Father was very unwell and I've been worried sick!"  
  
"Cancer." Mrs. Gracie said, emotionlessly. "The Doctor gave him a few months to live, but that was a few months ago."  
  
Edward made a sound, but Eliza wasn't able to interpret it and hurried into the room occupied by the elder Gracies. Eliza reached the top of the stairs and smiled at Mrs. Gracie. "How are you?"  
  
"How am I?" Mrs. Gracie repeated. "My husband's dying, how do you think I am?"  
  
Eliza bit her lip. 'Okay, stupid question Eliza!' She thought.  
  
"My daughter and her husband are currently holidaying in Florida. She claims that having been around her father and sickness for the last few months she needs a holiday. Archibald always did spoil her rotten! However her daughter Jennifer and her husband Robert are here- they've been here often. She's probably been the only bright spot lately. Archibald's been waiting for Edward to come home." Mrs. Gracie explained.  
  
"As soon as we knew he was sick we came home." Eliza protested. "If we had been told earlier we would have come earlier." She wasn't about to let this woman intimidate her anymore. She was almost thirty five, a grown woman who had grown up even more in the nightly horrors inflicted upon her hometown, and there was no way she was going to let Mrs. Gracie speak to her like that!  
  
Mrs. Gracie raised an eyebrow. "Are you blaming me?" She demanded.  
  
Eliza opened her mouth to tell her that she didn't think there was anyone else she really could blame, but before she could Jennifer, Edwards' cousin, and the woman who'd been maid of honor at their wedding eight years earlier came out.  
  
"Eliza!" She said, hurrying over to hug her. "I'm glad you and Edward are here. Uncle Archibald's been asking for you both, and we keep telling him you're on your way."  
  
"As soon as Edward got the first letter from his mother stating that his father was sick we decided to return. Of course we had no idea how serious it was, but I think Edward realised that his father was getting on and he wanted to be back here with him. But we never even guessed- Cancer!" Eliza's eyes begin to tear up.  
  
"I know." Jennifer said, her own eyes damp. "Uncle Archibald is the last person you'd think would get cancer. When the Doctor diagnosed him we asked Aunt Margaret to write to Edward at once to let him know what it was, but she said that you were already on your way, and it made no sense to worry him."  
  
"Well would it have?" Mrs. Gracie demanded, from where she'd been listening to the conversation. "He'd only have worried the whole way here and maybe even made himself as sick as your mother claims to be Jennifer."  
  
"He was worried anyway." Eliza said softly, but Mrs. Gracie either didn't hear or chose to ignore it. Instead she was telling Jennifer how her mother had always claimed she was sick when she wanted to get out of things.  
  
"A likely excuse half the time." Mrs. Gracie said. "But Archibald never scolded her for it. She was his little girl, wasn't she? And now her Father's dying and she's not here because she can't cope? Ha!"  
  
Jennifer bit her lip. "Aunt Margaret, I agree that my mother's actions are not exactly proper, but I don't think there is anything I can do about that." She said.  
  
Mrs. Gracie shrugged and then she turned to Eliza. "Well, what are you just standing there for? Aren't you going to go see him?" She snapped, and Eliza nodded and walked into the room. For a moment she was shocked- the colonel was lying in the bed, and he looked so small in it. Edward was sitting next to him, his head bowed as he spoke, but the colonel interrupted him seeing Eliza.  
  
"My dear!" He called. "Come in my dear."  
  
Eliza hurried to his side, forgetting her momentary shock at seeing the once so strong man so frail. "Mr. Gracie-" She began, but the colonel interrupted her.  
  
"Call me father would you Eliza? Mr. Gracie sounds so formal, and you ARE part of the family!" The colonel ordered.  
  
Eliza smiled through her tears. "Father," She said, sitting on the other side of him and taking the hand Edward didn't hold. "We came as soon as we heard you were sick."  
  
"I know. I knew you would." The colonel said. "Edward's always been a great boy, and you're just as good. I knew the moment I saw you and Edward together how in love you were and I knew you'd be the perfect wife for him."  
  
Eliza laughed a little embarrassed. "Oh I don't know about perfect.." She said.  
  
Edward smiled over at her, but didn't speak.  
  
"Nonsense!" The colonel said. "Perfect! My wife might not agree but if there's anything all my time in the army taught me Eliza it's this: everyone should be equal. Having more money than someone doesn't make you a better soldier nor a better person. I see the happiness and love in my son's eyes and that's all I could ask for."  
  
Eliza simply squeezed his hand, unable to speak.  
  
"The children are downstairs getting something to eat with Maxwell." Edward said. "I must say it was something of a shock to come back to a place with cooks, maids and butlers. In Liverpool we had a cook come in half a day, and a woman who helped with the housework and the children come in every second day."  
  
"That must have been hard on you Edward." Mrs. Gracie said coming into the room. "You're not used to living in such conditions."  
  
"Margaret." The colonel said. "Margaret is it time for my tablets?"  
  
"Almost my love." Mrs. Gracie said. "I don't want to give them to you too early." Eliza was amazed at the tenderness in her words: clearly she loved the colonel very much. For the first time ever since she'd met her Eliza felt some sympathy for her. Seeing her husband dying must be terribly hard for her! A moment later though she didn't feel quite so sorry for her!  
  
The colonel sighed. "They're the only thing to keep me going." He told Eliza and Edward. "Otherwise the pain alone would kill me!"  
  
Mrs. Gracie rearranged some flowers. "So Edward, are you going to be moving back in here or are you planning on getting another place?" She asked.  
  
Edward looked taken aback. "To tell you the truth Mother Eliza and I hadn't even discussed it. We've been too worried about Father to think about things like that!"  
  
Eliza privately knew there would be no discussion on it. There was no way that she could possibly live in the same house as her mother-in-law! And for that matter, surely her mother-in-law wouldn't even want her to?  
  
"Where are my grandchildren?" The colonel asked suddenly looking around.  
  
"I told you Father they're downstairs getting something to eat." Edward said gently.  
  
"Oh yes, yes." The colonel said. "Well would you mind letting them come up here? I haven't seen Ben since he was a child, and all I've ever seen of Margaret are photos!"  
  
Mrs. Gracie turned to Eliza. "Why don't you run downstairs and get them like a good girl?"  
  
Gritting her teeth to bite back any sharp retort Eliza went downstairs to collect the children. They'd been eating sandwiches in the kitchen with the cook and butler. Before she took them upstairs though Eliza told them that they must be on their best behavior, as Grandfather was very, very sick. They must not speak loudly, or rudely and use their best manners.  
  
A few minutes later Eliza led the two silent children into the room. Mrs. Gracie was now sitting in the spot vacated by Eliza holding her husband's hand. When they walked in the colonel struggled to sit up.  
  
"Ah, young Ben.. and to think last time I saw you was when you were in diapers." The colonel said with a chuckle which made him cough. "You're a big boy now."  
  
Eliza nudged him slightly and he walked forward. "Hello Grandfather. Hello Grandmother." He said in his best manners.  
  
Edward grinned, but his Grandparents were delighted, and crowed over him.  
  
"And this is Margaret." Eliza said, pushing her forward. Margaret, who was usually anything but shy, seemed tongue-tied all of a sudden.  
  
"Ah, my namesake." Mrs. Gracie said. "Hello Margaret. Aren't you going to come and give your Grandparents a hug?"  
  
Margaret turned to look at Eliza who nodded and then she hurried over to hug them both, before returning to Eliza's side. Mrs. Gracie looked at her strangely and then turned back to Ben. After a few minutes where the colonel talked to Ben, and tried to draw Margaret out of her shell Mrs. Gracie declared it was time for his medication and everyone must leave. Back downstairs Edward asked the butler whether he could show Margaret and Ben their rooms while they were staying there and the children happily went off with Maxwell.  
  
"I don't think he's got very long left Eliza." Edward said with a sigh.  
  
"No," Eliza agreed. "I don't think so either. But the main thing Edward is that you're here now. You're here and you can spend some time with him." She didn't add before it's too late, but Edward knew what she meant, and he nodded soberly. 


	47. 47

[A/N. I'm surprised nobody has noticed the mistake I've made with my dates. After the Christmas entry they should all be dated 1942, otherwise Eliza's living the same year all over again. Sorry! I also should mention that I don't like this chapter as much as the one before, for some reason I quite liked that one.]  
  
Philadelphia, April, 1942.  
  
"Margaret, didn't your mother ever teach you that a lady doesn't eat much?" Mrs. Gracie asked as Margaret took a couple of items from the tray circulating the room. "But then she'd hardly know what makes a lady, would she?"  
  
Eliza bit her tongue. 'Don't say anything, she's just buried her husband. In her own way she's grieving.' She told herself, and so she turned away and walked over to her husband instead. Edward was talking earnestly to a man about his age.  
  
"And then Roosevelt decided straight off he had to sign order number 9102 to establish the War Relocation Authority. Basically it created a civilian agency in the Office For Emergency Management to provide for the removal of persons or classes or people from designated areas. And they're at a place they call Colorado River Relocation Center." The man was saying.  
  
"War talk again?" Eliza sighed as she walked up to them.  
  
"Not exactly war talk sweetie." Edward said. "James here has had his cook, gardener and one of the maids taken off and put in a camp because they're Japanese American."  
  
Eliza looked horrified. "A camp? Like the Nazi camps?" She asked.  
  
"Oh god no, we claim to be more civilised than that." James said with a slightly ironic smile. "They're basically like miniature towns with homes, schools, libraries, post offices, hospitals, canteens and the like. But the government is taking thousands of Japanese American citizens and putting them in these camps."  
  
Eliza frowned. "But isn't that still wrong?" She asked.  
  
James nodded. "Very wrong in my opinion. As I was explaining to Edward we need to do something about this before it gets out of control."  
  
Edward sighed. "Let me see what I can do James, that's the best I can do at the moment. As you're probably no doubt aware the business hasn't exactly been the most important thing on my mind the last few months." He promised.  
  
James nodded. "Thanks Edward, you were always a fair minded person- like your Father, god rest his soul."  
  
Edward led Eliza away. "I wish you hadn't heard that." He said.  
  
"Why not?" Eliza demanded. "I'd have heard soon enough. The damn American government! Putting out movies like 'Yankee Doodle Dandy' the other month with the whole flag waving patriotism and love of one's country, and how we must fight to preserve our way of life, fight the Nazi's terrible persecution and they're doing the same thing on a smaller scale."  
  
Edward smiled slightly. "I knew you'd have an opinion."  
  
"And why shouldn't I?" Eliza demanded.  
  
"Of course you should have an opinion!" Edward hurried to appease her. "But most ladies don't express it in such vehement tones."  
  
Eliza bit her lip. "Right, so I should be seen and not heard?" She asked angrily. "Isn't that a rather old fashioned notion Edward?"  
  
"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying most of our friends and family wouldn't be used to...look, don't worry about it now. I've got to speak to a few people and thank them for coming to Father's funeral." Edward said, and he walked off leaving Eliza alone and blinking back tears. She liked to tell herself that it was simply the fact that his Father was dying which accounted for Edward's strange moods lately, but she also wondered whether it was being back here which had something to do with it. True Edward hadn't really listened to society before, like marrying her, but it didn't mean he wasn't thinking about it now. Maybe his image seemed too important to him to have a wife who had an opinion on everything, even matters most men would never discuss with their wives? Despite the fact that he'd never wanted it before maybe Edward now wished she was more like some of the other women he knew? And perhaps Mrs. Gracie had something to do with this? Eliza decided that she and Edward would have to begin the search for a home of their own as soon as possible.  
  
"Eliza." Jennifer said coming over to hug her. "You look pale and tired. Are you sleeping all right?"  
  
"To tell you the truth I haven't really been sleeping well the last few weeks and I've been sick on occasions." Eliza admitted.  
  
"Maybe you should go to the Doctors?" Jennifer suggested.  
  
"I might if it continues." Eliza said. "Can you excuse me for a moment? Look at the looks Mrs. Gracie is giving Margaret! She was telling her off for taking too much food before and god knows what stupid little thing she's done now to offend her majesty." Normally she wouldn't have spoken so rudely about someone- especially to one of their relatives, but Mrs. Gracie had been quite rude to Margaret on a number of occasions in the last few months and Eliza wasn't in the best of moods after her husband's rebuke a few moments before.  
  
However, slightly to Eliza's relief although she told herself she wouldn't care what Jennifer had said, Jennifer laughed. "That's a good description. You know don't you that Aunt Margaret was fifteen years older than my mother who was an accident? Their mother died in giving birth to my mother and Aunt Margaret took on the responsibility of raising her. She got married to the colonel when my mother was only four, and Edward was born a few years later so they've always been like brother and sister. Sometimes I think Aunt Margaret resented the way the colonel seemed to dote on mother. Anyway, the point is when I look at the way Aunt Margaret treats your daughter it seems to me to be exactly the way everyone always said she treated my mother. Interesting isn't it?"  
  
Eliza had to admit it was certainly strange- maybe it had something to do with the way Mrs. Gracie treated Margaret? Perhaps luckily for Mrs. Gracie given Eliza's mood she'd moved away from Margaret when Eliza reached her.  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Later that night as they were getting ready for bed Edward said, without looking at his wife, "I'm sorry for getting annoyed at you earlier Eliza. It's just that none of my friends or business associates would have a wife who's always got such a strong opinion on everything and anything."  
  
Eliza frowned. "Well to be honest I don't see why not. It's the 1940's- we're even allowed to vote now for heavens sake!" She said.  
  
Edward shrugged. "True," He admitted. "But I guess it's just always been that way in our circle."  
  
Eliza sighed. "Fine. Would you like me to keep my mouth shut firmly in future?" She asked, expecting he'd realise that it was a stupid ask to change her when they'd been married for eight years and he hadn't complained about it before now.  
  
"Maybe that would be a good idea." He replied. "So we fit in properly and all."  
  
Eliza bit her lip. She didn't care whether or not they fitted in all right, to be honest she'd rather they didn't fit in than to pretend that she was part of them. Part of the people who'd treated her so shabbily when she was younger! But for some reason Edward was bothered about it all the sudden so she'd do as he asked and act like the perfect high society wife. Still, as she was falling asleep, she wished she knew where this had come from all of a sudden. 


	48. 48

Philadelphia, May 1942.  
  
"The old Acton house?" Mrs. Gracie wrinkled her nose. "I wouldn't take that place Edward- according to Mrs. Acton before they moved there were structural damages. When they found out how much they'd cost to repair it only helped in their decision to move to California to be near Kelly. Of course this isn't stopping them from asking such a high price for it, but then some people have no scruples at all."  
  
Edward finished chewing his steak and then wiped his mouth with his napkin. "So I guess its back to the drawing board then. It's a pity though- you really liked that place didn't you Eliza?"  
  
Eliza managed a wry smile. "Well it can't be helped can it?" She asked tonelessly. In the past three weeks they'd seen three houses including the Acton one, all of which Mrs. Gracie seemed to have a reason why they couldn't buy. The Harrison's house had a bad feel to it because of a murder which had happened the century before, and Mrs. Gracie was concerned for the children growing up in a house with such a bad history. Then it was the Simpson house which was hardly big enough for the children to run around and play in, especially considering the surrounding paddocks were leased to a farmer who intended to breed cattle there. And god forbid, Mrs. Gracie had added, what would happen if a bull got out and went for the children? And now the Acton house supposedly had structural damage!  
  
"Don't worry sweetheart, we'll find something eventually." Edward assured her. "We've just got to keep on looking."  
  
Eliza smiled and nodded. "Eventually." She muttered. She wondered whether or not Edward had the same feeling about his mother as her, that she didn't want them to find another house? Despite the fact that Mrs. Gracie was not the biggest fan of either Eliza or Margaret she adored and doted on both Ben and Edward, and perhaps she couldn't bare the thought of being alone with only a menagerie of servants for company? Eliza felt that in the month or so since the Colonels death the relationship between her and Edward had been a little stilted. The morning after the funeral he said to her "Eliza you know I love everything about you. I love the fact that you always have something to think and say, that you've got an opinion on everything. I love the passionate look you get in your eyes when you think someone has been wronged. But for the sake of harmony around here I just think it would be best if you kept your opinions to yourself in front of our friends and associates. It's just- well they'll talk about it, and I don't want that." Eliza had frowned slightly. At least he wasn't saying he didn't like it, but it worried her a little that he wanted her to pretend to be something she wasn't in front of people she didn't even really know. Nonetheless she had given him her word that she wouldn't speak up in front of people, especially considering he confessed that people would talk about it. The idea of those snobs gossiping about them annoyed her no end, and the thought that not only his reputation, but also his business could suffer, motivated her to agree. Edward had smiled, and kissed her on the forehead. "I knew you'd understand Eliza. You've always understood me better than anyone else here." He said as he left the room. However since the conversation Eliza thought that their relationship had definitely changed a bit. No longer did they discuss business and the war like they'd always done, and instead their conversation was confined to other topics. In Eliza's mind she was becoming exactly like all the other society wives- soon she'd have to join their garden clubs and tea parties so she could talk about how little she knew about everything. But Edward seemed pleased about the way she was acting, so she didn't complain.  
  
"I mean you've got to think about the children don't you?" Mrs. Gracie asked. "They're the most important here."  
  
Eliza managed to keep her mouth shut- something she was becoming better at since Edward had made his strange request the other month- although inwardly she wondered about Mrs. Gracie's apparent concern for the children? She thought about the cold way Mrs. Gracie spoke to Margaret, who now managed to avoid her Grandmother as much as possible.  
  
"Exactly." Edward agreed, and then it was as if a light came on in his eyes as he remembered something. "I can't believe I forgot. I was speaking to William yesterday and he was telling me that we've moved back here at the right time. Apparently our old house is about to go on the market, for about the same amount as we sold it for. Isn't that luck?"  
  
Eliza's face lit up, but Mrs. Gracie only muttered "Luck indeed."  
  
"And of course we know there's no structural damage since we had it assessed before we left and that was only eight or so years ago. And we know that there's no bad feel to it, and all the gardens surrounding it are perfect for the children to play in. What do you think Mother?" Edward asked his mother, a strange smile on his face.  
  
Eliza bit her lip- was he making fun of his mother? Mrs. Gracie evidently thought so by the way she pursed her lips and didn't comment.  
  
Edward turned to Eliza. "What do you think sweetheart? Would you like to live there again?"  
  
"Would I!" Eliza exclaimed. "It would be wonderful. Almost like going home again."  
  
Edward nodded. "Well I'll have a chat with William about it tomorrow and see what he thinks."  
  
"You'll have to excuse me." Mrs. Gracie said standing up abruptly. "I don't feel too well. I've been feeling ill lately. I suppose though that kind of thing happens when you're as old as me. Who knows how long I'll be around?" And she left the room.  
  
Edward took a sip of his drink. "Was it just me or was there a definite element of the guilt appeal there?"  
  
Eliza laughed. "It wasn't just you." She assured him. "Oh Edward if we could move back into our old place. How wonderful would it be!"  
  
"Don't get excited yet sweetheart." Edward said quickly. "I'll have to make sure William has the right information first."  
  
"I know, I know." Eliza said, but her eyes were still shining brightly. It even made her concerns about her health go away to think that they could possibly soon be out of here and back in their own home. Although, she thought, Mrs. Gracie probably wouldn't make it easy. 


	49. 49

Philadelphia, July 1942.  
  
Even thought it was late when Edward arrived home Eliza was awake waiting for him. He knew she'd be up, even before he drove up the driveway and saw the light shining out from the front parlour. He strode into the house which felt like home after only two weeks, and into the parlour. Eliza was knitting, but upon hearing his footsteps she looked up. Her eyes combed his tired face for any sign of clues, but there were none there, and she was forced to ask. "Well?"  
  
Edward walked over to pour himself a scotch before responding. Alcohol was scarce now that they were in the middle of the war, but through contacts he managed to get the occasional bottle. He took a sip and then responded nonchalantly. "We got it."  
  
Eliza squealed and jumped up to hug her husband, who was forced to hastily put his drink down lest it get spilt. Her own news was forgotten momentarily in the triumph of her husband's success. He smiled at her enthusiasm as he hugged her back, and then held her at arms length. "You realise this is going to impact on our family a lot don't you sweetheart?" He asked her.  
  
Eliza nodded. "Of course I do Edward, but it's a necessary evil. It looks as though the war is going to go for awhile yet so we've all got to make sacrifices." She said, although in the back of her mind was the idea that the sacrifices were nowhere near as bad as the ones they'd all experienced in England.  
  
Edward nodded. "You're right." He told her, picking up his drink again and taking another sip. "I suppose if anyone have told me the Gracie's would get involved in steel I'd have told them they were mad! After all it's pretty far removed from our normal business and all. Although I am sure Father's up there nodding his head. He was a pretty shrewd businessman and he won't see anything wrong with this expansion that's for sure! And once the war's over we can sell that part of the business and go back to what we do best."  
  
There was a comfortable silence between the couple as Edward finished off his drink and Eliza sat down again and picked at her knitting. Her face was down so Edward couldn't see the look of thoughtfulness on her face. There were two things she had to discuss with him, and she decided to get the easiest one out of the way first.  
  
"I had a letter off Rose this morning." Eliza said. "They had a change of plans and they're actually in Hollywood at the moment. Rose's manager thought that Rose could perhaps take her stage appeal from Broadway to the big screen. Naturally she's a bit nervous about the idea, but as she says "nothing ventured, nothing gained." She also said the children love California- the weather there is gorgeous apparently, and her husband has found some work to keep them going. The only dark cloud is she hasn't heard from Jackson in awhile, and I think she's a bit concerned about him."  
  
Edward frowned thoughtfully. "He's in the marines right?"  
  
Eliza nodded.  
  
"According to JP a lot of our troops are being sent to South Africa for a campaign there. I imagine if that's where he is it would be rather hard to get a letter out." Edward said. "I'm sure he's fine."  
  
"Oh I'm sure he is too." Eliza said. "Rose just wants him back."  
  
Edward went over to sit down on the couch, stretching his feet in front of him with a sigh. "Did Mother come over today by any chance?" He asked.  
  
Eliza shook her head. "No, although I was out for a bit, and the children were left with Maria." She said. "But you'd think they'd mention it if she came over." Maria was the young girl next door who had babysat for the Gracie's on a few occasions now. She was only fourteen but completely trustworthy, and Margaret and Ben loved her.  
  
"Where were you?" Edward asked curiously.  
  
Eliza sighed, and bit her lip. She knew she had to tell him- she couldn't exactly keep it a secret, but she was ashamed, and she was also worried about his reaction. "Actually Edward I was at the Doctors." She said softly.  
  
Edward sat up in shock. "The Doctors? Is anything wrong? Eliza, why didn't you tell me you were sick?" He demanded worried.  
  
Eliza took a deep breath. "Well I'm not exactly sick," she said. "I'm pregnant Edward."  
  
Edward stared at her in shock. "Pregnant?" He repeated.  
  
Eliza nodded.  
  
Edward frowned and looked away for a moment and then he turned back to her. "We're going to have another baby?" He asked.  
  
Eliza nodded again, wondering what was going through his head. His face was expressionless. Was he as ashamed as she was at her being pregnant at her age? She was thirty-six already, and her youngest child was six!  
  
Suddenly a huge grin spread over his face. "Another baby!" He cried, getting out of his seat and hurrying over to embrace her. "That's the best news I've heard in a long time."  
  
Eliza smiled, relieved, but she still had to voice the nagging doubt at the back of her mind. "You don't think I'm too old?"  
  
"Too old?" Edward said. "No! Definitely not! Three kids! Wow!"  
  
Eliza laughed. "I'm glad you're happy, but I wonder what everyone else is going to say. Especially your mother!"  
  
"Screw everyone else including her!" Edward declared, pulling her to her feet and holding her against him. "I'm going to be a father again!"  
  
Eliza smiled contentedly. She hadn't dreamed he would be this happy, and it relieved her burdens somewhat, although she was still conscious of the Doctor's comments. "You've got to take it very easy Mrs. Gracie." He had cautioned her. "I mean resting as much as possible- at the very least a few hours a day. And when it comes to the last few months I will be wanting you in bed all the time." Eliza had frowned. "Is that all necessary Doctor?" She had asked. "If you want to deliver the baby alive it is." The Doctor had said bluntly, making Eliza wince with the candiness of his comments. "Mrs. Gracie firstly when you gave birth to your last child you required many stitches, and from the sound of it the birth was a long and hard one. Secondly after those times in the war in England your nerves are frayed- perhaps a lot more than you realise. Your physical tells me this Mrs. Gracie and what all this means is that you can't stress at all whilst you are expecting this child, and must rest as much as possible." So Eliza had left the surgery with strict orders to rest as much as possible, but none of this conversation was relayed to her husband. Eliza told herself she didn't want to spoil his happiness, but she knew also that he would make her stick to the rules rigidly, far more rigidly than she believed was necessary. She'd had two babies hadn't she, so there would be no problem with the third! 


	50. 50

[A/N. Sorry about this chapter being shorter than usual but there are two reasons for this: (1) There wasn't much to say in this chapter other than what was said in it, and (2) I wanted to get it up as soon as possible since it has been awhile since I've posted anything for it. Not that I don't have the time mind you, I just haven't really felt like writing. But now I do again! I can't believe this is chapter number fifty! That's a lot of chapters!]  
  
Philadelphia, September, 1942.  
  
"Expecting again? At your age?" Mrs. Gracie wrinkled her nose with distaste at Eliza's words.  
  
Eliza bit back her sharp reply. She'd know that of course Mrs. Gracie would react this way, which is why it had taken her so long to tell her. Edward laughed at the way Eliza was worried about what his mother would think. "Come on sweetheart, do you really care what she thinks about it?" He'd ask. "All that matters is that we're happy with it. And the children are delighted. I think Margaret thinks that another child would be like a doll for her to play with. And Ben wants a little brother to play ball with."  
  
Mrs. Gracie took a sip of her tea, and then sighed. "Well I suppose there's nothing anyone can do about it now. I just hate the idea of people talking about you and Edward for this."  
  
"We don't care." Eliza assured her. "Edward and I've discussed it countless times and the opinions of nosy, busybody women who've got nothing better to do than to gossip about others, are no problem for us."  
  
Mrs. Gracie sniffed. Eliza was pretty sure she realised what Eliza meant, but of course, it wouldn't stop her if she wanted to talk about it. She took another sip of tea, and Eliza glanced at her own cup. It had grown cold, but that was because she was unable to drink it. Her stomach was giving her a hard time lately, worse than it had been with Ben and Margaret, that was for sure.  
  
"So," Mrs. Gracie said. "How are the children enjoying their first week of school? Ben's a bit older than the other kids I am sure?"  
  
Eliza nodded. "They love it, and Ben's only a year older than most of them, so it's not too bad. We would have enrolled him earlier, but with the war, and coming back from England and all we didn't get the chance. But according to his teacher he's very bright anyway."  
  
Mrs. Gracie nodded. "I always thought he'd be smart- after all he is taking after his Grandfather and father..although I'm not so sure about Margaret. I don't think she seems very smart."  
  
Eliza frowned. "I don't know," She said stiffly. "I'm sure Margaret is perfectly smart, she just prefers to play rather than work."  
  
Mrs. Gracie shrugged. "Well, whatever." She said.  
  
*****  
  
Edward only had to look at his wife's face when he returned from work to know. "You saw my mother today didn't you?" He asked.  
  
"She's such a pain Edward." Eliza said frowning. "She thinks it is terrible for someone my age to be having another child. And then she managed to insult Margaret again, saying she's stupid."  
  
Edward had to laugh. "Honestly Eliza, you shouldn't let her get you so fired up. I'm sure half the time she just does it to get a reaction. She never says things like that to me, does she? And anyway, you're meant to be taking it easy. Stress won't be good for the baby!"  
  
Eliza wanted to argue the point: that of course she didn't say things like that to Edward because she was trying to insult Eliza, not her son. But she didn't bother. Instead she asked him how work was, which lead to a tirade about the government and exporting. Eliza decided it was much healthier for him to be the one complaining about things, and let him go on whilst she knitted booties for the new baby. Even though she said it didn't bother her she couldn't help but be a little hurt by Mrs. Gracie's reaction. She would have thought she would be a little more pleased about having another child- especially since if it was a boy she and Edward had decided to call him Archie after Edward's grandfather. Still, Eliza told herself, maybe she'd get used to the idea and perhaps even come to like it? And if she didn't then it was just her bad luck and nobody else's. 


	51. 51

[A/N. I realise this chapter has been a long time in coming, but I've been pretty busy and any time I've got to write on stories has basically been spent on my "Harry Potter" story, or should I say my "Snape" story. Anyway I don't think a lot of people read this anymore so it probably doesn't matter. But I won't stop writing it because I am enjoying writing it. After two or so more chapters I am probably going to skip a few years like I did awhile back. It seemed to work pretty well then, so hopefully it does this time as well.]  
  
Philadelphia, November 1942.  
  
Eliza sighed and leant back on the pillow. She knew it was time to get up but it was the last thing she felt like doing. The last few days had left her feeling sick and weak, but she hadn't mentioned it to anyone, especially not Edward for fear of worrying them. But today she had to get up, she had no choice: it was Margaret's seventh birthday. And in a few months Ben would be nine. Sometimes Eliza wondered where the time had gone, but she wouldn't have swapped a moment of seeing her children grow up. The only regret she had was that as a married woman, especially a pregnant one, she couldn't join anything like the WASPS and help America win the war. Not that Edward was complaining. When Eliza had mentioned it being a pity his face had turned red, and he'd snapped "No wife of mine would be joining any fighting." Since she was pregnant anyway Eliza hadn't bothered to argue the point, but occasionally she wondered whether she would have stuck up for her rights if she had been able to join?  
  
"MAMA!" Margaret was suddenly in the room and on the bed. "Why aren't you up yet Mama?"  
  
Eliza sighed and sat up. Edward had gone to work a few hours before and she'd debated getting up, but decided it was far too early. "Good morning sweetie." Eliza said. "Happy birthday." And she reached into the draw beside her bed to get Eliza's present. It was a porcelain doll, something Margaret had her eye on for a long time. Seeing it Margaret's eyes lit up, and she went away to get dressed. Eliza sighed again and got up and dressed. She wondered what part of her brain hadn't been functioning when she'd invited Margaret's school friends over for a party that afternoon, and when she'd told Edward he didn't have to come home from work early to help out if he was too busy.  
  
Downstairs she met Ben who complained to her about "all the silly girls coming over."  
  
Eliza laughed and ruffled his hair. "One day in the not so distant future you're going to like girls sweetie." She said.  
  
"Yuk!" Ben made a face. "Never."  
  
Eliza laughed. "Are you going to be a good boy and help me with some things for the party? I know Katy will, and Cook's made some nice treats for the party."  
  
"Treats hey?" Ben mused. "Maybe the party will be all right after all. But if I don't help you I won't get to have the party treats will I?"  
  
Eliza started to say yes, and then shook her head. "No so you better help me then."  
  
"Okay Mama, I'll help." Ben agreed. "And Daddy told me to help you anyway because of the baby."  
  
Eliza smiled, and held out her hand. Ben took it and they went into the living room.  
  
*****  
  
"Do you want me to hand out that plate of cupcakes Mrs. Gracie?" One of Margaret's friends mother asked. "You're looking kind of pale."  
  
Eliza nodded gratefully. "I haven't exactly been feeling too well lately." She admitted, glad that one or two women had stayed to help out. Without them she would have been having trouble keeping an eye on things in her weakened state.  
  
The woman, whose daughter was perhaps Margaret's best friend, looked concerned. "Maybe you should go back to the Doctor?" She suggested, but Eliza shook her head.  
  
"I'm not due back to the end of the month. I don't want to waste his time with some stupid little thing." Eliza argued.  
  
"What if it's not some stupid little thing?" The woman asked.  
  
Eliza shook her head. "I'm sure it is." She said. "Anyway, thanks for handing out the cupcakes."  
  
The woman laughed. "That's your polite way of telling me the discussion is over hmm? Well I don't mind, as long as you're sure."  
  
"I'm sure." Eliza confirmed, and the woman took the plate and started circulating. Taking a deep breath Eliza walked over to where Ben was standing watching the food carefully.  
  
"It's not too bad is it?" She asked him.  
  
He shrugged. "I guess not, but I wish there were some boys here to play with.Mama?"  
  
"Mm?" Eliza answered.  
  
"Will we ever go back to England?" He asked, and Eliza was surprised at the question.  
  
"I don't think so honey." Eliza said slowly. "This is your home, and our home."  
  
"Margaret tells everyone we'll go back to England one day." Ben said. "I think she is pretty sure about it too."  
  
Eliza raised an eyebrow. Margaret had never mentioned anything about going back to England to her.  
  
"We're not going anywhere at the moment sweetie," Eliza assured her son. "And if we ever do decide to go somewhere you'll be the first to know."  
  
"Pinkie swear?" Ben asked.  
  
Eliza smiled and pinkie swore her son that he would be the first to know if they were going anywhere.  
  
*****  
  
Eliza glanced over at the grandfather clock in the room and saw with relief that the party was almost over. She'd almost made it. She was having trouble breathing and so she sunk into the nearest armchair and put a hand on her chest.  
  
"Miss Eliza?" Katy the maid asked.  
  
"Yes?" Eliza responded.  
  
"Are you all right Miss?" Katy asked, peering at her employer worriedly.  
  
"I'm fine Katy." Eliza lied, and Katy, not looking as though she completely believed her, hurried away with the remnants of "pass the parcel."  
  
Eliza suddenly felt strange, and the world around her began to swim. A moment later everything went black.. 


	52. 52

Philadelphia, November, 1942.  
  
Eliza opened her eyes and winced at the bright light suddenly shining into them. A strange male face was peering down at her. When he realised that Eliza's eyes were now open he smiled. "Welcome back to the land of the living. You've been out of it a long time now."  
  
"Where am I?" Eliza asked. She struggled to sit up, but found herself to weak to move much, and had to just lie there instead.  
  
A strange look flitted across the man's face. "You're in the hospital Mrs. Gracie." He said slowly.  
  
"The hospital." Eliza repeated with a sigh. And then she remembered it all: drifting in and out of consciousness at home, with the maid, Katy, taking control of the children who were anxious as to what was happening with their mother. Someone must have called for an ambulance because the next thing Eliza remembered was waking up briefly in one. And then getting to the hospital and seeing Doctors and nurses gather round her. But that was it. She swallowed and licked her dry lips and asked the question which she had to know the answer to. "Is the baby all right?"  
  
The doctor looked away for a moment, giving Eliza all the answer she really needed, before turning his gaze back to her. "Mrs. Gracie, I'm terribly sorry. You had a miscarriage."  
  
"I didn't know that still happened at four months." Eliza said, blinking back her tears, determined to remain strong and in control.  
  
"It can." The doctor replied. "Although it's not all that common. Mrs. Gracie, I know you probably don't want to answer questions now, but I feel this is pretty important from your health point of view. I've spoken to your doctor, and he told me his advice to you. I need to know- were you following it?"  
  
Eliza sighed. "I was being pretty good, not perfect I'll admit. But it wasn't like I was running around or anything..how could this happen?"  
  
The doctor looked thoughtful. "I don't know sometimes Mrs. Gracie, and all I can tell you is that everything happens for a reason, even if sometimes the reason isn't entirely clear. Perhaps it would have been better in hindsight, to have kept you in bed the entire nine months, rather than just planning that for the last few.." He looked uncomfortable. "I have to go and see a few other patients. I'm very sorry about this all Mrs. Gracie."  
  
Eliza nodded. "Thank you doctor. Has my husband been contacted, do you know?"  
  
"I know a message was left with him some time ago, but he was in a meeting. I'm sure he'll be here as soon as he can. In the meantime I suggest you rest, and try and get some sleep. You've been through a very stressful experience, your body as well as your mind, and you've also got to recover from the operation we had to do to clean you out." The doctor said.  
  
"Sleep?" Eliza laughed bitterly. "I don't know whether that's going to be much of a possibility doctor."  
  
The doctor stopped on his way to the door and nodded. "I'll see if I can get the nurse to give you something to help you sleep."  
  
After the doctor had left Eliza turned her head onto the pillow and bit her lip. The baby was dead. The baby, she and Edward had been so looking forward to, was dead. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it away almost angrily, but that single tear was the catalyst for the torrent of tears which poured out, and which she thought would never stop.  
  
When the nurse came in with an injection to help her sleep only ten minutes later she saw Eliza lying in bed, her body wracked with tears. For a moment she felt pity for the woman, but then she shook her head. Most likely this woman already had children of her own when some women couldn't even have any. Most likely this rich woman had everything she wanted when some women had to slave to make ends meet because their husband was out of a job. Most likely this woman had taken being pregnant for granted and not even really looked after her unborn child.  
  
"Come now. Stop crying. It won't do you or anyone else any good will it?" The nurse asked, coming over to Eliza.  
  
Eliza continued to cry and the nurse felt a surge of anger. She reached over and grabbed Eliza's shoulder and shook it. "Didn't you hear me? I said stop it. STOP IT!"  
  
The sharp words shocked Eliza into silence and she stared at the nurse surprised.  
  
"That's better." The nurse said. "What's done is done, and there's nothing anyone can do about it is there?"  
  
Eliza felt a surge of anger against the woman. Weren't nurses supposed to be compassionate and kind? "As far as I know there is no rule against crying when someone dies." Eliza said. "And what's more it's healthy to cry rather than to bottle it all up inside."  
  
The nurse snorted. "What kind of psychobabble have you been reading to believe that nonsense?" She snapped, preparing the syringe for Eliza's injection.  
  
Eliza shrugged. "Obviously nothing you've read." She said. She didn't want to admit it to the nurse, but she was glad she'd stopped her crying- otherwise she thought she would have gone on forever. She might not be crying on the outside now, but she sure was on the inside. Her heart felt hollow and dead, and her womb ached for the baby it had been used to.  
  
The nurse didn't comment now, just gave Eliza the injection, curtly ordered her to sleep and left the room. Eliza made a face at her retreating back. That woman, she told herself, had serious issues. With a sigh, she fell back against the pillow and closed her eyes. But for some time, before she fell asleep, images of the unborn baby floated around inside her head.  
  
She was woken a few hours later by the sound of a chair creaking. She turned her head to the side, groggy from the injection as well as the operation, to see Edward sitting in the chair. He had a bunch of roses in his arms.  
  
"Edward." Eliza croaked, her throat aching again.  
  
"Eliza. Sweetie." Edward was up in a flash, the flowers on the bed beside her and his hands holding hers tightly. "I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry I was in a meeting or I'd have been here much earlier, but I asked not to be disturbed."  
  
"It's okay." Eliza assured him. "You're here now and that's all that matters."  
  
"Are you all right?" Edward asked concerned.  
  
"The baby died." Eliza said, blinking back more tears.  
  
"I know. I've spoken to the doctor." Edward replied. "But my main concern at the moment is you: how are you feeling?"  
  
"Empty, and sore." Eliza said.  
  
"Oh sweetie." Edward said, putting his arms around her. "Don't worry baby, everything will be all right. I promise."  
  
"I know." Eliza said dully. As much as she hurt now, she knew that in time everything would be all right again. Maybe she'd never completely get over it all, but life would go on. 


	53. 53

[A/N. Like I said earlier I am going to skip a few years now because I think there has been enough done in those years. It is now 1950. Eliza is 44, Edward is a few years older than her (I don't think I ever actually mentioned his age did I?), Ben is 16 and Margaret is 14. Whilst Eliza has never completely gotten over the loss of her unborn child life has gone on. Ben and Margaret both attend boarding schools, although Ben only has another year or so to go. I will also be skipping longer periods of time from now on and more frequently.]  
  
Philadelphia, May,1950.  
  
Eliza sighed and pressed her face to the window. There were times- like now- that she was kind of depressed. With the children away at school and Edward often at work she felt rather lonely. She could visit Mrs. Gracie who was getting on in years and didn't leave her house more than she could help, or she could visit any of her friends, but none of this really erased the lonely feeling she had. The house seemed so empty and quiet without the children and their friends.  
  
"Sweetie?" Edward came into the room. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine Edward." Eliza said, getting up to hug him. "How was work?"  
  
"The usual." Edward replied with a wry grin. "Although I was speaking to Henry and he was telling me that Truman's all but decided to send troops to Korea."  
  
Eliza shook her head in disgust. "You'd think he would have learnt from the last war..Rose will be pretty upset after what happened to Jackson and all." She sighed when she thought about her friend. They'd kept in touch over the years, although less frequently as they got older. But the thing which stuck in Eliza's mind was the letter she received in early 1943. The writing was messy, and the paper was frequently stained by tears, and in it Rose wrote; "When I got the telegram I thought I was going to die myself. Jackson, my beloved first son, the only child and reminder I have of dear Jack, was dead. I haven't died yet, but the last few days have been so hard Eliza. Losing a child is the most terrible thing. I would not wish it on anyone, not even the Germans or the Japanese. We're the ones who are meant to go first not our children. For the rest of my life I am less of a woman than I was before."  
  
"She's not the only one." Edward replied. "Henry's organising a delegation to go to Washington to speak to the President. See if he can't see sense before it's too late."  
  
"Are you going to go too?" Eliza asked.  
  
"Well Henry wanted me to, but I told him I couldn't leave you alone." Edward replied, sitting down in his favorite chair. Eliza poured him a scotch and took it over to him, and then sat next to him.  
  
"How long would you be gone?" Eliza asked.  
  
"I just told you I'm not going." Edward replied.  
  
"If you were to go, how long would you be gone?" Eliza asked.  
  
Edward sighed. "A few days I suppose.." He said taking a sip of his drink.  
  
"Then you must go." Eliza said firmly.  
  
"Eliza!" Edward protested. "You complain enough about it being lonely here without the children- although I for one can do with not hearing Margaret's grand plans for going back to England as soon as she can- so without me here you'd be even more alone."  
  
Eliza nodded slowly. "I know that Edward." She said. "But my main concern is the young boys of this country. I saw what happened to Rose- she's never really recovered from Jackson's death! And Ben's 16 Edward- old enough to be drafted. God forbid young children like him going over there and dying. Someone has to make Truman see some bloody sense."  
  
Edward laughed. "You're getting quite worked up my dear Eliza..all right, if you insist I'll go to Washington."  
  
"I insist!" Eliza said firmly.  
  
Edward finished his scotch and then held his arms out to his wife, who came and sat on his lap. He sighed into her hair. "War is a damn business." He said. "I know if Dad was here still I'd get told off for that, but it is."  
  
"Look what it did to the country." Eliza said. "And some other countries were even worse off. I had a letter from Jessica the other day, and would you believe the government has only just begun to rebuild our house. And there are thousands more still to be begun. She says the children play in the bombsites like they were beginning to do when we were still there, but more now."  
  
Edward laughed softly. "Tell that to Margaret- maybe it will curb her enthusiasm."  
  
"I doubt it." Eliza said with a frown. "You know I think since the day we told her we were coming back here she made up her mind to return to England. Even after all this time here she doesn't see it as home."  
  
"Well she'll have to damn well learn." Edward said angrily.  
  
"Edward if we don't agree to send her over there for college you know the moment she turns eighteen she's going to run away. I don't know how she'll get there- but it won't be nice Edward. We're better off agreeing." Eliza said.  
  
"And losing her?" Edward asked, shaking his head.  
  
"And keeping her!" Eliza argued. "We really will lose her- and forever- if she's forced to run away."  
  
Edward didn't reply.  
  
Eliza sighed and stood up. "Edward do you think the idea of my baby so far away doesn't terrify me? Doesn't upset me? But the idea of never seeing her again, never hearing from her- well that terrifies me a lot more. And you know Ben will still be here- he has no ambition other than staying here and being like you! If he gets the marks he got this year, well he'll get into Harvard with no problems whatsoever.Anyway, I don't want to talk about this now. Margaret won't be ready for college for another three years so we've got plenty of time to discuss this. Don't you think you better give Henry a call and let him know you're going to Washington with him?"  
  
Edward sighed too, and stood as well. "I'll get on the telephone now.what are you going to do now sweetie?"  
  
"I picked up a copy of Hemmingway's latest novel the other day, something called "Across the River and into the trees" which I might sit down and get into. Although "The toast of the town" is going to start in a few minutes." Eliza replied.  
  
"Well as long as you've got something to keep you occupied." Edward replied, and he went off to make his telephone call.  
  
Eliza decided to watch the television program and then perhaps read in bed. Even though Ed Sullivan often bungled his introductions and monologues Eliza thought there was something interesting about him. She settled down in front of the television and soon forgot about anything else that had been concerning her.  
[A/N. For those of you who don't know "The toast of the Town" became "The Ed Sullivan Show" in 1955.] 


	54. 54

[A/N. I know this has taken me a long time to update but I've been pretty busy with Uni and things. As I said last time I'd skip a few years more often now because I want things to move a bit faster. In this case it's been three years and Eliza is now 48, Ben is 19, Margaret is 17 and Edward would be somewhere in his early to mid 50's.]  
  
Philadelphia, June 1953.  
  
Eliza sighed as she looked at the picture on the front of the paper. The headline announced that the "Traitors [were] put to death." The trial and subsequent appeals of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg against their death sentence for espionage had captivated American's ever since the first trial back in 1951. It was alleged that the Rosenberg's were part of an elaborate spy ring during the second world war on the side of the Soviet Union. Eliza had always thought it highly unlikely that the verdicts would ever be reversed. With the Cold War now going on American's were highly suspicious and highly patriotic and most thought that the Rosenberg's deserved no less than the death penalty. Eliza sighed as she turned the page to be confronted with yet another picture of the couple- this time from long before they were arrested and charged, in fact from just after their marriage. Eliza studied the grainy picture carefully. It was hard to believe these two smiling people had been involved in the spy ring.  
  
"Mama- are you reading about the Rosenberg's again?" Ben asked, as he came into the sitting room. He had completed his first year at Harvard with top marks, although he still couldn't decide whether he wanted to study business or law, so he was taking subjects in both. He reminded Eliza so much of a younger Edward.  
  
Eliza smiled up at her tall, handsome son with a guilty look. "I can't help it Ben- it's just too terrible."  
  
"I presume you're saying that their death is too terrible not what they did." Ben said, sitting down in a chair opposite his mother and regarding her thoughtfully. "Mama I know you're too kind hearted for words, but honestly these people don't deserve to live. If their plans had of worked who knows what this country would be like today?"  
  
"But can we be completely sure they did it?" Eliza asked.  
  
Ben shrugged. "I wonder if we can ever be completely sure unless someone confesses. Mama I read the trial transcripts and they were incredibly damming. The Rosenberg's did it Mama." He sighed. "Anyway, you best put that paper away before Dad comes home and catches you reading it- you know he said you shouldn't since the verdict upset you so much in the first place."  
  
Eliza sighed and returned the paper to the table where it would wait for Edward to come home and read it. "Have you seen Margaret yet today?" She asked, changing the subject.  
  
Ben laughed. "She hasn't surfaced yet. But then she didn't get home until very late last night- from what she said to me before she left they were going dancing, and you know how she likes to dance." He said.  
  
Eliza made a face. "Not one of those new Rock and Roll clubs I hope." She said. "Ever since she's been home from school all I've heard coming from her room are terrible sounds."  
  
Ben shook his head. "Mama you've got to get with the times." And then he started singing "That's Amore" until Eliza covered her ears laughing and begging him to stop.  
  
"You might be a good student, but as a singer you leave a lot to be desired." She told him. But she had to smile at him. She hardly believed her son was as grown up as he was. And then there was Margaret. She'd grown into a stunningly beautiful girl. "I wish she'd get up. She's only got another week here before she leaves for England and I'd like to spend some time with her."  
  
"You're going to really miss her aren't you Mama?" Ben asked.  
  
"Very, very much. It was hard to let her go but she's always wanted to study at the University in Liverpool and if we had said no, well the chances are she would have gone anyway. Haven't you noticed since we told her last year she could go she's been a lot happier and a lot easier to live with?" Eliza replied. In truth the decision had been agonising for both her and Edward who couldn't stop thinking of her as their little girl, not the grown up she was becoming. But at least Ben wasn't planning on leaving the country. He might be far away for most of the year at Harvard, but he was still in America. "I just still think of her as the little girl she used to be. Sometimes I think its still back in the thirties and forties and you're both still kids running around. It's hard to believe she'll be eighteen soon and you'll be twenty!"  
  
Ben was looking thoughtful. "Mama- what were you doing when you were eighteen?" He asked.  
  
"When I was eighteen? My god Ben, I can hardly remember back that far." Eliza said with a smile.  
  
"Nonsense Mama- you've got a better memory that anyone I know." Ben said. "Mind if I smoke?"  
  
"No go ahead darling." Eliza replied, and Ben took out his cigarettes. He'd taken up smoking during the year at Harvard and at first Eliza had been appalled, but Edward had laughed and said young men smoked now and it was the in thing to do. Eliza had sighed and wished that he could at least smoke a pipe rather than the smelly cigarettes and Edward had just kissed her on the forehead and walked off grinning. "Now let's see: when I was eighteen..I spent my eighteenth birthday in New Hampshire where I was working at the time. I'd been working there since I was sixteen."  
  
Ben exhaled a cloud of smoke and grinned at her. "Well it sounds like you were pretty independent at that age then Mama."  
  
"What's your point Ben?" Eliza asked hiding a smile.  
  
"Just that if you were doing things like that at eighteen I don't see the big deal in letting Margaret go over to England to study at the same age." Ben replied.  
  
Eliza nodded. "I know you're right of course, it's just a little hard to let go sometimes."  
  
Ben sighed and got up. "I better get going. I promised Francis I'd meet him for a game of tennis. I'll be home for tea though." He said and he searched through his pockets for the keys to the car Eliza and Edward had bought him when he'd been accepted into Harvard.  
  
"Okay darling, have a good time." Eliza responded as he left. She sighed thinking he was so much like Edward. And then she realised perhaps Margaret was like her- she was independent and she knew what she wanted from life, which Eliza had also. Still, sometimes Eliza wished time would stop so her children wouldn't grow up. 


	55. 55

Philadelphia, June 1953.  
  
"Margaret?" Eliza asked, knocking on her daughter's door. From the sounds inside Margaret was already awake- the first day she'd been up before noon since she finished school.  
  
"Come in Mama." Margaret called, and Eliza opened the door and walked into the biggest mess she'd ever seen. Clothes were piled everywhere and drawers were open, books were strewn about, and the bed was covered in things.  
  
"Good god Margaret." Eliza managed.  
  
"I'm packing Mama." Margaret said, throwing her mother a dirty look. "Is there something you wanted?"  
  
"Yes, we're going over to your Grandmothers place." Eliza said, threading her way through the mess to where Margaret was standing.  
  
Margaret made a face. "Oh Mama, do we have to?" She said, sounding just like Eliza felt.  
  
But Eliza was firm. "We do. Margaret she's an old lady, when you get back she probably won't be here still. You must do the right thing and say goodbye to her." She told her daughter sternly.  
  
"Mama, Grandmother has never liked me." Margaret complained. "She's only ever picked on me. It's Ben she likes not me."  
  
"Nonetheless you have to do the right thing Margaret." Eliza said, determined that Margaret would do this. Otherwise she'd be the one to hear all about her daughter's terrible manners, and how bad a mother she was. Eliza managed to restrict her own visits to Mrs. Gracie to once a week, visits she loathed. Sometimes, she'd think as she left the house after one of these visits, it would all be easier when the old bat did die. Then she'd feel guilty about it and the next visit she'd try so hard to be polite and then Mrs. Gracie would say something offending again, and she'd have the same thoughts as she left. Mrs. Gracie spent most of her time in bed, but when Eliza came she had someone take her downstairs so she could appear stronger than she really was. Edward often popped in after work when he could.  
  
"MAMA!" Margaret cried, tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't want to. She'll only be mean to me."  
  
"Be ready in twenty minutes Margaret." Eliza said, leaving the room.  
  
On her way downstairs she ran into Ben. "Did she cry and carry on?" Ben asked with a grin.  
  
"She wasn't too happy." Eliza said diplomatically.  
  
"Don't know how you put up with her." Ben said with a frown. "If she were my daughter-"  
  
"Well luckily she isn't." Eliza interrupted him. "Anyway she's just excited about England. And she has a point: it's not like your Grandmother has ever liked her."  
  
"No." Ben said thoughtfully. "She never has. Even when we were kids she'd always pick on Margaret for something, but if I did the same thing well that was fine. I guess you can't really blame her for not wanting to go."  
  
"Oh no, I don't blame her." Eliza said quickly. "But she should do the right thing regardless."  
  
"Right, well I'm off to wash my car." Ben said, and he went out the front door.  
  
Twenty minutes later Margaret walked sullenly down the stairs. She was dressed in a skirt and top, a little more conservative than her usual style, and she'd even put on the pearls her Grandmother had given her for her sixteenth birthday, despite the fact that she'd told her mother only old people wore pearls now.  
  
Eliza smiled. "Ready?"  
  
"As I'll ever be I guess." Margaret replied with a dramatic sigh. "Can I drive Mama?"  
  
"No I don't think I'm in the mood for your driving today Margaret. I'll drive." Eliza replied. Despite the fact that they still had a chauffeur for when they needed him Eliza preferred to drive herself. When Mrs. Gracie had found out she'd almost had a heart attack. "Eliza you are married to one of the richest men in the state- you don't drive yourself. It doesn't look good." But Eliza hadn't cared. As she told Edward later it wasn't the 1920's it was the 1950's and it was perfectly acceptable for people to drive themselves. Edward had laughed. "I know, but she's just kind of old fashioned." He said.  
  
They drove along the road towards the old Gracie house silently, until Margaret spoke up. "Mama, why do you put up with Grandmother?" She asked.  
  
Eliza was surprised. "Because she's my mother in law." She replied.  
  
"Well it's not like she treats you any better than she treats me." Margaret muttered. "I mean, the way she speaks to you Mama, like you're another one of her servants or something."  
  
"She's always been that way, so I guess I'm just used to it." Eliza replied pulling into the driveway.  
  
"Well I'm glad I won't have to see her once I'm over in England." Margaret said happily.  
  
Eliza bit her lip. 'Don't be silly,' She told herself firmly. 'She's not speaking about anyone else other than her.'  
  
They stopped the car and got out. Margaret adjusted her skirt and top. "You know Mama I was actually going to wear that new skirt I showed you the other day but I thought better of it. Grandmother would have had a heart attack."  
  
"Well I guess fashion these days is very different to what it was a few years back. When I was your age dresses came down to our ankles at least. We couldn't show much skin, we couldn't wear pants like you've done on occasions." Eliza said as they walked up towards the door. "And another thing- we had very strict rules of how to act in society. Some of the things kids your age do these days.."  
  
The door was opened by the butler, a new one since the old one had retired a few years back. He smiled at the two of them. "Mrs. Gracie is in the sitting room- she was expecting you of course."  
  
"Of course." Margaret muttered, and Eliza shot her a look clearly warning her to behave.  
  
Margaret smiled politely. "So how is my darling Grandmother today? Her usual sweet self?"  
  
The butler looked confused and Eliza hissed "Margaret!"  
  
They went into the sitting room. Mrs. Gracie was seated in the armchair closest to the window and she looked if anything, older than she had last week. Eliza often marveled that she was still alive, but as she knew perfectly well the woman was very stubborn, and probably not likely to let God take her until she was ready.  
  
"Hello Mrs. Gracie." Eliza said hurrying forward to kiss her quickly on the cheek.  
  
Mrs. Gracie just nodded and then she turned to Margaret, who was still standing near the doorway. "Well aren't you going to come in and say hello to your sick old Grandmother?" She demanded of her.  
  
Margaret bit her lip and smiled. "Of course." She hurried over to kiss her. "How are you Grandmother?"  
  
"How do I look?" Mrs. Gracie replied. "So- off to England in two days?"  
  
"Yes," Margaret enthused. "I began packing this morning. I am so excited about it. It's going to be great to be home."  
  
Eliza couldn't help but wince at the word 'home' and Mrs. Gracie's sharp eyes caught it. "I would have thought you would have considered America home by now." She said.  
  
"Well not really." Margaret admitted. "I was born in England, and it will always be home."  
  
"How extraordinary." Mrs. Gracie muttered. "And your parents accommodating this whim of yours too."  
  
"It's not a whim." Margaret protested. "And my parents just want me to be happy."  
  
"Spoilt." Mrs. Gracie declared. "Always have been, always will be. In my day children didn't get everything they wanted handed to them on a silver platter. In fact in my day women didn't even go to college. You should be thinking about finding a nice man and settling down and getting married."  
  
"You've got to be joking." Margaret burst out shocked. "I intend to finish college before I even think about getting married. This is 1953 Grandmother- things are a bit different now."  
  
"I'll say." Mrs. Gracie said curtly. "In my day children had manners- especially when they spoke to their elders."  
  
Eliza wished that she hadn't made Margaret come, but she'd known it was the right thing to do. Now she spoke up. "We can't stay long Mrs. Gracie. I promised Margaret I'd take her shopping to get some new clothes for England, and I also promised I'd buy her some album as a going away present."  
  
"Clothes and music these days." Mrs. Gracie moaned. "It's terrible. The clothes look like harlots, the music sounds like noise."  
  
Margaret opened her mouth, but caught her mother's look and closed it.  
  
"Yes, well I guess when you've got children you've got to move with the times." Eliza said. "And to be honest I'm getting rather used to some of that music since Margaret's been home."  
  
Mrs. Gracie snorted. "So the next thing you know you'll be coming to visit me dressed up like a teenager today- although I think even your skirt is a bit too short." She said.  
  
Eliza glanced down at her mid length sensible skirt and shrugged. "Well we better run." She said.  
  
"Anxious to go?" Mrs. Gracie asked, her eyes piercing.  
  
Eliza wanted to agree, instead she stood up. "I'll be back next week as usual." She said.  
  
"Can you tell Ben I'd like to see him? He's been so busy lately he doesn't even come to see me like he used to." Mrs. Gracie complained.  
  
"I'll tell him." Eliza promised. She gave Mrs. Gracie another quick kiss on her cheek and nodded at Margaret to do the same.  
  
"I'll write to you from England Grandmother." Margaret promised as they were leaving.  
  
"Don't bother." Mrs. Gracie said. "I won't be here much longer."  
  
Margaret didn't know what to say to that, and glanced at her mother in shock. Eliza didn't know either, so they just left. As they were walking to the car Margaret broke into a dance. "Thank god I'll never have to go through that again. England here I come!"  
  
Eliza had to smile at her daughter's excitement- even though she wished she wasn't going. But Margaret was nearly eighteen, it was 1953 and it was no big deal, she told herself as they got in the car. Even so, the fact that Margaret was going in a few days still made her heart ache. 


	56. 56

[A/N. Due to the fact that I've got an essay for "Criminal Law and Criminology" due in soon which I've only just began to work on this chapter won't be very long. But I don't think that matters too much since there isn't much I want to say in it. Hopefully the next chapter will be longer!]  
  
Philadelphia, July, 1955.  
  
"Dear Mama, Papa and Ben," Eliza read out loud from the armchair where she was seated.  
  
Edward was sitting in another chair, and Ben was stretched out on the couch. He'd completed his first year of Harvard Law School with top marks and Eliza and Edward couldn't have been more proud. As a present for his grades Mrs. Gracie had ordered he be given a thousand-dollar cheque, something which had shocked both Eliza and Edward. Even though Mrs. Gracie was now confined to her bed her mind was still working perfectly, although after that Eliza had questioned that.  
  
"I can hardly believe it's the end of another year at Uni. I suppose my marks could have been a little better but they weren't too bad. Anyway we all know Ben is the smart one in the family. I tell everyone here about how my big brother is going to be a lawyer soon. This summer I am planning on spending a few weeks over in France with one of the girls from my class, Penny- you will remember I wrote to you about her before Papa, her dad owns that coal mining company in Newcastle?- so I might need some more money for the vacation than last year. I don't want to look out of place over there. Penny has a real Dior outfit Mama! I can't go to France dressed like a teenager in my favorite poodle skirt now can I? We will be spending a lot of time on the beach so I will need to get a new bathing suit. I was thinking of one like Miss America's last year- Papa don't have a heart attack- it's quite decent I promise. Mama I tried to read that book you told me to read- "Majorie Morningstar"- but to tell you the truth I just couldn't get into it. It may be on top of the bestseller list, but it's just not my type of book. Anyway darlings I must close now, as I've got a few things to do, and I want to send this letter as soon as possible. Love always, Margie." Eliza finished reading the letter and folded it up.  
  
"With a garbled letter like that its no damn wonder she didn't get better marks." Ben remarked from the couch.  
  
"Just because your twenty-one now it doesn't mean you can swear Benjamin." Eliza reminded him gently.  
  
"Oh Mama don't treat me like a child." Ben complained sitting up and stretching his legs. Unlike many of the young men his age Ben still dressed neatly in pants and a shirt. When one of his old schoolfriends had dropped in to visit him the other day Eliza had been shocked to see him wearing denim jeans and later on she had commented on it to Ben. Ben had laughed. "Mama that's the way guys my age dress now- You saw the pictures from "Rebel without a Cause" everyone thinks they're James Dean." Eliza had frowned. "You still dress properly." "Well I'm going to be a lawyer, I have to." Ben had replied. "And don't be so old fashioned Mama, or I'll start thinking you're like Grandmother. She actually yelled at me the other day because of the music people are listening to."  
  
"Sorry, but to me you are still a child." Eliza said softly, thinking of that conversation. Was she really that old fashioned? She didn't think she was. Like many other fifty-year old women she still dressed relatively conservatively, and she had to admit she was getting kind of used to the rock and roll music played on the wireless.  
  
Edward sighed, and got up stretching. "I better go and make that call to Morgan, or he'll be having kittens. It's good to hear that Margaret is happy in England though." He said as he left the room.  
  
"Ben, do you think Margaret will ever come back?" Eliza asked suddenly. She'd been thinking about it the last few days since Margaret only had a year left of University over there, and Edward's comment as he left the room reminded her.  
  
Ben sighed. "Honestly Mama I don't know, but I wouldn't be holding my breath. She's always said she'd go back there, and to tell you the truth I think she's better off there. If it means she's happier, and she's not moping around here sulking like a spoilt brat..well.." He shrugged as he got up. "I better get going. I should have left a few minutes ago but I wanted to hear the Queen of England's letter first."  
  
Eliza had to laugh. "Spoken like a true brother." She said with a smile.  
  
"I'll see you later Mama." Ben said, dropping a kiss on her forehead as he left the room.  
  
Eliza sighed and leant back in her chair. Why couldn't time stop before it was too late and both her children were grown and gone, and it was only her and Edward alone in the big house? 


	57. 57

Cambridge, July 1957.  
  
Eliza and Edward took their seats, and Eliza clutched at her husband's arm as students started to file in and take their allocated seats. "I can't see him sitting down, he mustn't be in here yet." She said.  
  
"He'll be in, in a moment." Edward assured her, as he glanced down at the shiny graduation program in his hands.  
  
"It's a pity Margaret couldn't fly over for this." Eliza said with a sigh. In the four years since Margaret had gone over to England they hadn't seen her once despite their pleas for her to come back over for Christmas. If it wasn't for the fact that Mrs. Gracie, who had, had a stroke three years back, was still sick Eliza would have convinced Edward to go over there for Christmas. Margaret had scraped through a Bachelor of Arts degree, and for the last six months or so she had been "just having fun" as she put it. When, in a rare phone call just before she'd graduated, Edward suggested she find a job or a husband, she'd complained he was old-fashioned. "If I were old fashioned I would hardly have suggested you get a job Margaret. You can't just do nothing with your life." He'd said wryly. "Why not?" Margaret had asked. "Isn't that what Mama does?" Edward had yelled at her for being so disrespectful, and when Eliza spoke to her she was treated to a teary apology. "Sorry Mama, I didn't mean it, really I didn't. I just don't know what I'm going to do yet." She'd said. Eliza had mentioned that there were plenty of things to do in America, but Margaret had laughed. In the four years she'd been back in England her English accent had resurfaced, and she assured her mother she was not planning on coming back to America at the moment. When they'd received the tickets for Ben's graduation Eliza had written to Margaret asking whether she wanted them to send her money to come back for it, but she'd replied that the dates coincided with a trip to Spain she was planning.  
  
"It would have been nice." Edward agreed carefully. In his opinion their daughter was spoilt rotten, but Eliza refused to see it. Edward wondered what would happen when he decided that she was too old to receive an allowance? She was already twenty-one, and he had made up his mind that when she turned twenty-two he would stop supporting her. He was resolute, despite the fact that he knew she would cry and plead, and Eliza would want to give in. There was no way he was spending thousands a year supporting her in England if she didn't want to help herself.  
  
"OH! THERE HE IS!" Eliza cried as Ben walked into the room with a few other graduands. Ben spotted them and gave them a wave. He was, at twenty three a remarkably handsome young man, and his parents couldn't have been prouder of him. In his time at Harvard Law School he'd received excellent grades and also contributed a number of articles to their journal. He already had a job lined up with a firm in New York, which made Eliza sad, but as Edward reminded her it was only a train trip away.  
  
More and more students and guests filed in until eventually the hall was full. To Eliza most of the ceremony was boring, but when she saw Ben line up by the side of the stage she sat up with interest. "Benjamin Archibald Gracie" was called, and Ben mounted the steps, doffed his cap to the chancellor, walked across to the center of the stage and accepted his degree from him, and then walked across to the end of the stage where he shook the hand of the dean of the law faculty, and then walked down the stairs and it was over. Ben had officially graduated.  
  
After the ceremony Eliza insisted on having professional photographs taken. "We'll have to send one to Margaret in England." She said.  
  
"I'm sure she'll appreciate it." Ben said dryly. He agreed with his father's opinion and thought his sister was a spoilt brat. She was busy having fun in England with no intention of getting a job and happily letting his parents support her.  
  
"She was always so proud of you." Eliza argued, with a slight frown.  
  
"Right Mama." Ben said. "Mama- you're going to have to come up to New York and help me make my apartment look livable. It needs some decorating, and you know I've got no idea."  
  
Eliza looked delighted and Edward and Ben exchanged secret smiles. They'd discussed this earlier, wanting Eliza to not feel as though her children didn't need her anymore. They had the photos taken, and then had refreshments with the rest of the gradaunts and their families. When they went home that night Eliza was bursting with pride, and she wasn't even upset about the fact that Ben was moving away.  
[A/N. Not the best chapter, but I couldn't leave Ben's graduation out of the story after mentioning his being at law school and all. And as everyone who's been to uni knows, ceremonies can be pretty damn boring! I also always saw Margaret as growing up to be a spoilt brat. Interestingly in my mind she was a bit like Dickie in the Talented Mr. Ripley- off overseas living on his parent's money happily, as this would have been around the same time as the novel was set.] 


	58. 58

[A/N. For the reviewer who asked where this was going and what it has to do with Titanic, well it's basically just Eliza's life after Titanic, after Cal saved her. Occasionally there will be mentions of people from Titanic, however as she gets older this is going to be less likely since many of them will be dead. In fact Eliza and Edward are getting on in years, but I don't think they're likely to die for a few years yet. Cheers.]  
  
Philadelphia, November 1957.  
  
Eliza could hear the phone ringing as Edward pulled the car up in front of their home. It stopped ringing as they were entering the hall, and then a moment later the maid hurried over to them. "Mrs. Gracie- it's Margaret. She's been ringing all day. Says it's urgent." The maid explained.  
  
Eliza pursed her lips. Urgent? When Edward's mother had died from a heart attack two weeks ago Eliza had rang Margaret, but her flatmate had answered and told her that Eliza was abroad, and she'd give her the message as soon as she could. When Eliza'd told Edward after the conversation he'd shook his head. "Well when you speak to her tell her I'm cutting off her allowance. She's almost twenty two, old enough to get a job to support herself or a husband." He'd snapped. The funeral for Mrs. Gracie hadn't been as hard as Eliza had expected. A lot of people turned up, but other than making comments on how rich and powerful she'd been they hadn't commented on her being nice and friendly. For the first time in ages Eliza saw Edward's cousin Jennifer, who was almost sixty now, and looked it. According to Edward they'd had a hard time of it in the depression and refused Edward's help.  
  
"Mrs. Gracie?" The maid asked carefully, and Eliza was startled from her thoughts.  
  
"Right, thank you." Eliza said and she hurried to the phone. "Margaret?"  
  
"MAMA! Where have you been? I've been trying all today and most of yesterday to reach you." Margaret demanded.  
  
Eliza, shocked, replied that they'd been up in New York visiting Ben.  
  
"Well I've got some big news Mama!" Margaret exclaimed, her voice cheerful.  
"Hold on a moment." Eliza instructed. "Firstly yes your brother is fine and loving his job. Secondly did you get my message a few weeks back?"  
  
There was a pause. "What message Mama?" Margaret asked, but Eliza wasn't fooled. She knew her daughter too well, and knew that Margaret had received the message, but not called until now. Eliza fought the urge to hang up on her, and for the first time ever she saw Edward's point about their daughter being spoilt rotten.  
  
"Your grandmother died." Eliza said, even though she knew Margaret had already gotten the news.  
  
"She did?" Margaret repeated. "Oh that's terrible. I mean I know we didn't exactly get along, but still..how's Papa coping?"  
  
"Very well. We've known it was coming for the last few years- the doctors are actually surprised she lived as long as she did." Eliza explained. She didn't mention the fact that Edward, despite taking it better than she'd expected, seemed to have aged a lot in the last few months. He was now sixty one- ten years older than her- and he was beginning to look it.  
  
"Yes." Margaret said slowly. There was the sound of a voice in the background and Margaret giggled like a child. "Hold on a moment Mama." There was the sound of Margaret covering the phone with her hand, and then a few moments later she was back apologizing.  
  
"Who was that?" Eliza asked curiously. "And are you back in London yet?"  
  
"No, I'm in France." Margaret said.  
  
Eliza decided this was as good a time as any to tell Margaret what Edward had decided, since she was now one hundred percent behind him. "Perhaps you should think about going back to London and getting a job Margaret?"  
  
"MAMA!" Margaret said shocked. "Ladies don't work."  
  
Eliza had to laugh. "Strange you should say that after you usually accuse me of being old fashioned. In New York I noticed that a lot of ladies were working now."  
  
"But not well brought up ones." Margaret argued. "Ladies like myself don't need to work."  
  
"Well you might have to now." Eliza said slowly, and then decided there was no other way to say it than to give it to her straight. "Edward and I have decided that at your age we should no longer have to support you. So you might need to get a job."  
  
There was a silence on the other end of the phone and Eliza took a deep breath waiting for the tantrum to begin. But to her shock Margaret didn't yell or scream. Instead she said something which shocked Eliza more than anything did. "That doesn't matter now Mama. That's what I rang to tell you- I'm getting married Mama!"  
  
Eliza felt faint, and hurriedly sat down. "What? Married?" She repeated.  
  
Margaret laughed. "Don't sound so shocked Mama. Isn't that what you always wanted me to do? Get married and have children?"  
  
"Who is it?" Eliza asked, rather than answering Margaret's question. Of course it's what she'd always wanted Margaret to do- just like any other young lady in society. Although lately she had wondered whether Margaret was better getting a job and working for a bit first, like many women did these days.  
  
"His name's Richard. He's in his last year at Oxford, and his father is Lord Monksfield. That means when we marry I'm going to be a Lady!" Margaret explained laughing. "Lady Margaret Monksfield."  
  
Eliza didn't know what to say.  
  
"Mama?" Margaret asked, her voice not sounding quite as upbeat as before. "Aren't you happy for me Mama? Happy that I'm happy? And of course you, Papa and Ben will have to come over for the wedding. I need Papa to give me away. And Richard has said Ben can be one of his groomsmen." Her tone sounding more pleading now than anything.  
  
Eliza took a deep breath. Why wasn't she happy? Margaret had found someone and was getting married? And even better she'd be very happy to be a Lady, and to move in the right circles in England like she'd done in America, like the Gracie's still did. Maybe it was just the fact that Margaret was her little baby, and she hadn't realised how grown up she was. "Of course I'm happy for you sweetie. I'm just in shock. I don't remember hearing his name mentioned before that's all."  
  
"Well we only met a few weeks ago, but it was love at first sight Mama. Isn't it all so romantic?" Margaret sighed.  
  
"Romantic, yes." Eliza said. Then another thought occurred to her. "Margaret, please tell me you're not getting married because you have to?"  
  
"Have to?" Margaret repeated puzzled and then she laughed. "Oh Mama, no. I'm not pregnant."  
  
Eliza sighed with relief- if Margaret had of been expecting she would have been horrified. Edward walked into the room then. "Did you tell her?" He asked Eliza softly.  
  
Eliza nodded at him.  
  
"Is that Papa?" Margaret asked. "What did he say?"  
  
"Nothing sweetie.maybe you should tell your big news to your father?" Eliza suggested.  
  
Edward looked concerned as Eliza handed him the phone. A moment later he looked shocked. "Married? Good Lord Margaret! You don't even know him well enough."  
  
Eliza didn't hear what Margaret said, but whatever it was it took awhile, and when she was finished there was a slight smile on Edward's face. "Good point. Well, we'll be over there in time for the wedding. I'm sure your mother would be disappointed if she couldn't help plan it. And you know the timing really is quite good. I've been debating taking a few months off from work and taking a holiday. It will do both me and your mother good." He said.  
  
Again Eliza didn't hear what Margaret said, but Edward laughed. "I don't think so- not for a few years yet anyway. I'm perfectly capable of looking after it all."  
  
After Margaret got off the phone Edward looked at Eliza. "Well?"  
  
"Well what?" Eliza asked. "She's nearly twenty two, she's old enough to get married. When I was younger most girls who weren't married at twenty two were thought to be old maids."  
  
Edward nodded. "Sure, but this is 1957, not 1927. Girls don't have to get married if they don't want to. They can work, and then get married. I bet the idea of working wasn't exactly on Margaret's list of priorities." It was funny, Eliza thought when he said that, a few years back his views would have been completely different, but they'd both come to realise the times had changed, and things were not exactly the same anymore.  
  
Eliza shrugged. "I guess not, but there's not much we can do about it is there? At least she sounds happy."  
  
"She does, doesn't she? "Edward said with a smile.  
  
"What was she asking you when you told her it wouldn't happen for a few years yet?" Eliza asked.  
  
"She asked me when I was planning on retiring?" Edward replied indignantly.  
"Well dear," She said diplomatically. "You are getting on."  
  
"Nonsense!" Edward declared. "I'm perfectly fine. I'm only sixty one for heavens sake."  
  
Eliza laughed. "Right. You're not old at all."  
  
Edward shook his head at her. "On that note I better get back to work." He said, and he gave her a hug on his way out of the room. Eliza sighed and sat back on the chair again. Time seemed to fly, but now, instead of wishing it would stop, Eliza was used to it. All she wanted now was to see both her children happily married with children, living comfortably like she'd done for most of her life. She thought about the woman who Ben had introduced them to as his friend, and smiled. Maybe she wouldn't have to wait too long after all? 


	59. 59

London, March 1958.  
  
"Edward, have you seen where I put my fur coat?" Eliza called to her husband, who was in the sitting room of their hotel suite reading the paper calmly.  
  
"I've got no idea where you put it sweetie." Edward called back.  
  
Eliza continued on her search for the coat. It wasn't that it was particularly cold in London, even though it was only the beginning of Spring, but rather the fact that, that evening they would be having dinner with Richard's parents who were driving down from their country estate in Yorkshire for the evening. Eliza and Edward had arrived in London three days before, bringing with them Ben's apologies- he had only been working at the firm in New York for seven months and it was too soon to ask for time off. Margaret, who had met them at the pier, wasn't too fussed by his absence. Eliza supposed this was the fact that she'd been living so far away for so long.  
  
*****  
  
Margaret had squealed with excitement when she saw them, and rushed over to hug them both excitedly. Eliza had only had a chance to survey her daughter for the first time in five years, when she finally pulled back from her parents. Her long black hair had been cut shorter, although she still had it in a bun, which set off her tanned, happy face perfectly. She was wearing a skirt and matching jacket, which were surprisingly quite modest, comparing her to the other young girls of her age lately who were beginning to wear shorter skirts, and in some very rare cases even jeans.  
  
"Mama, Papa, I'm so glad to see you. Wait until you meet Richard- you're going to love him. He's simply darling." Margaret had said as they got their bags organized.  
  
"And what is Richard going to do when he's finished at Oxford?" Edward had asked.  
  
"Probably follow in his Father's footsteps.run the family business, go into Politics, the usual." Margaret had explained, with a shrug.  
  
"And you?" Edward asked.  
  
"Me?" Margaret laughed. "I don't know. I suppose I will probably take on some charity work, and hopefully have children. We both want children desperately."  
  
Eliza had smiled politely, but inwardly she was thinking that Margaret seemed too young to be having children. And joining charities- well there was no doubt that Margaret would fit well into the social circles she was going to be part of.  
  
Margaret had a car waiting outside, and she ushered them in. "Richard lets me use this whenever I need to, but he said he will buy me one of my own as a wedding present." She explained, as they all got settled.  
  
"I just hope you've improved your driving skills if you're driving something like this around." Edward said dryly.  
  
Margaret simply laughed. "I'll take you to the hotel to drop your things off first, and then you must come and meet Richard." She said.  
  
"Margaret, has it occurred to you that your mother might want to have a sleep or freshen up first?" Edward asked.  
  
"Oh no, Edward, I'm fine really. I only had a shower a few hours ago, and I'm perfectly fresh, and I'm very much looking forward to meeting Richard." Eliza argued.  
  
Edward sighed. "Very well then." He said.  
  
At the hotel they checked in and made sure that everything was taken care of before getting back in the car. As she drove Margaret explained "We're staying at his parents London residence. They don't use it very much anymore, except when Mr. Monksfield- Richard Senior- is down for some political thing."  
  
Margaret stopped the car in front of an elegant, two-story house, set slightly back from the street. "This is it- home."  
  
"You mean," Edward asked slowly. "You're both staying here. You're not living in your flat anymore?"  
  
"Well no, I mean there was no point was there? I couldn't afford it anymore, and this has plenty of space. And relax Papa- we have separate rooms." Margaret said with a smile.  
  
Edward's face went red, and he said no more as Margaret led them inside the house. "Darling, we're home!" Margaret called as they walked into the large hallway. Eliza, glancing around, noticed a few paintings and pieces of art which she thought would have been pretty expensive.  
  
A man came out of one of the doorways. He was tall, with dark hair, and bright blue eyes, and he was dressed neatly in slacks and a shirt. He smiled at his fiancée first. "Did you make good time?" He asked.  
  
"Yes, great." Margaret replied, smiling back. "Richard, I'd like you to meet my parents."  
  
Richard stepped forward to take Edward's hand in a firm grip. "Delighted to meet you at last Mr. Gracie. I've heard a lot about you- Margaret's always talking about you."  
  
Edward smiled. "It's nice to meet you too. And please-call me Edward."  
  
Eliza smiled too and stepped forward- Edward's words were a sure sign that Richard had been studied and found acceptable. "I'm Eliza." She said. "It's nice to meet my future son-in-law."  
  
Richard smiled, and welcomed her too. "I hope Margaret told you that you didn't have to stay in the hotel- you would have been perfectly welcome to stay here." He told them.  
  
"Well we didn't want to get in the way." Edward explained. "Anyway, I believe we're heading up to your parent's estate in a week or so to get things organized for the wedding up there anyway."  
  
"OH MAMA!" Margaret cried. "You must come with me to see the dress I am getting. I waited until you got here to get the final approval first. We could go now!"  
  
"Margaret," Richard laughed. "Your parents have just crossed the ocean, don't you think they might be tired?"  
  
"I am a bit tired Margaret. Do you think we could do it tomorrow?" Eliza asked. She wanted to sit down and talk to Richard and get to know the man her daughter was marrying before she did anything else.  
  
Margaret pouted slightly, and then nodded. "That's fine Mama. And Richard's parents are coming down on Saturday night for dinner, so you'll get to meet them before we go up there on Wednesday."  
  
"Shall we go and get a drink and sit down and talk?" Richard asked.  
  
"Good idea." Edward agreed with a nod.  
  
*****  
  
"Found it!" Eliza called out triumphantly. She took the coat and her handbag out to where Edward was waiting.  
  
"And where was it?" Edward asked, with a slight smile. "Where you left it last?"  
  
Eliza laughed, as he got up from his seat and came over to help her put it on. "You look lovely." He said. "But you always do, you don't need a fur coat on to look lovely."  
  
Eliza smiled and kissed him. "Thank you sweetie, but I want to make a good impression with Richard's parents. After all they're a Lady and a Lord!"  
  
Edward snorted. "If we had aristocracy in America you might very well be a Lady too, so don't worry about that. We've only been here a little while and you're already involved in the English social gossip- don't think I didn't notice you pouring over the gossip section in the Times this morning." He said.  
  
"Well I was reading about the Queen- isn't she gorgeous though?" Eliza replied, with a toss of her hair. "Are you ready? Let's go!"  
  
"Do you know," Edward said as he picked up his keys and wallet. "You've been more like a kid than ever since we got here a couple of days ago? Running around like a tourist with Margaret, between dress fittings and whatnot."  
  
"Well what if I have?" Eliza demanded as they left the room.  
  
"I'm not saying it's not a good thing." Edward said hastily, taking her hand as they made their way to the lift. "On the contrary. Apart from at Ben's graduation I don't think I've seen you so happy in a long time."  
  
"I think it's being here, and seeing Margaret and how happy she is." Eliza mused as they waited for the lift. "But you're happy too- you like Richard don't you?"  
  
"Yes, he's a nice kid. Got a good, stable head on his shoulders. And most importantly- he adores Margaret, and she him." Edward replied. 


	60. 60

[A/N. As I've already mentioned I spent a bit of time in hospital and am now home recovering somewhat slowly. At the moment this basically entails psyio and rehab, and I've got an appointment with my neurosurgeon next Tuesday where I'll learn whether or not he thinks he is going to operate. At the moment I am hobbling around the house like a very old woman, and I can't bend over, stretch up or lift things, but I'm getting there. Even if I'm still existing on painkillers. The general rule appears to be that I am not allowed to sit up for more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time, but I've been ignoring that a bit. So this chapter is most likely going to be written in a few parts, and there probably won't be a lot of new chapters in the next few weeks.]  
  
London, March 1958.  
  
"Aren't you the least bit nervous?" Eliza asked as they entered the restaurant.  
  
"Not at all, why should I be?" Edward said. "Darling you've got to realise that just because they've got titles doesn't make them any less like you or me."  
  
"But from things I've read- Edward people like that, aristocracy, always stick together. Surely they're not going to be entirely happy about their son marrying Margaret- a nobody." Eliza asked worried.  
  
"A nobody?" Edward laughed. "Good lord Eliza, who could describe Margaret as that? Someone who was deaf and blind and didn't notice how loud and exuberant she is?"  
  
"I'm talking about her not being a Lady, or a Duchess, or a Baroness or a-" Eliza began but Edward interrupted her.  
  
"If Richard's parents are anything like him we're bound to like them." Edward assured his wife. "In the few days we've been here and out with them, have you ever once heard him abuse his title? Have you ever once heard him treat Margaret with anything but love and devotion?"  
  
"I'm not disputing he loves her." Eliza said. "That's very clear to see. I'm just worried that his parents might not love her as much."  
  
"Well they wouldn't offer to hold the wedding up at their estate if they didn't approve of the marriage, would they?" Edward asked philosophically. "Now, stop worrying and have fun sweetie."  
  
*****  
  
"So, Richard tells me that you've got a branch of your business over here- in Liverpool. You must be doing well for yourself." Lord Monksfield- or Richard as he'd asked them to call him- asked Edward as they waited for their entrees to arrive.  
  
"Well enough to be thinking of expanding further." Edward admitted. "We've been debating opening up somewhere else in Europe but we've got no firm plans at the moment."  
  
"We? Is your son- Ben isn't it?- involved in the business too then?" Richard senior asked.  
  
"Actually he's not. He's a lawyer in New York. He's only recently graduated from Harvard Law and got the job so there wasn't any chance he could get over here for the wedding." Edward explained. "I'm thinking perhaps of floating the business once I get a bit older."  
  
"A wise choice in the current climate." Richard senior agreed. "Richard here is going to go into the family business when he finishes at Oxford."  
  
Whilst the men spoke about business Margaret, Eliza and Lady Monksfield- Elizabeth-talked about the wedding. "I have to admit when Margaret first began to plan it I was a little worried about the expense," Elizabeth said with a smile. "I didn't know at that stage how well off you were."  
  
"Yes..well..Margaret's always had expensive taste I guess." Eliza said, not really sure how to react to the comment. Was the woman making a jibe at them, or was she simply stating a fact?  
  
"Well a girl only gets married once Mama- she has to do it properly." Margaret said with a smile over in her fiancé's direction.  
  
"True enough." Elizabeth said nodding. "You know Eliza Margaret speaks about you so much I feel as though I already know you and Edward, and they seem to be getting along well don't they?" She gestured in the direction of the men, who were now talking politics happily.  
  
Eliza felt herself relax. It seemed as though all her concerns had been for nothing-Richard's parents were as nice as he was, and also as fond of Margaret as he was. "Yes, they do, don't they?" She agreed.  
  
The waiter arrived with their entrees and as they ate the conversation turned to the time when Edward and Eliza had been living in Liverpool during the war.  
  
"It must have been pretty damn scary." Richard senior said. "Of course we were out of it being up in the country and all, but if Hitler had succeeded how long would we have been safe for?"  
  
"It wasn't exactly pleasant." Eliza admitted. "Especially if Edward was out when the sirens went."  
  
"Bloody Hitler hey?" Richard senior shook his head. "I never would have thought he'd end up doing what he did. We all thought he was bignoting, grandstanding if you will, we had no idea what an evil sod he was."  
  
"We thought the same back home." Edward said. "I was in touch with people back there of course when we were over here and the consensus was pretty much he was all talk."  
  
"War talk." Elizabeth sighed dramatically. "The war's been over nearly fifteen years and we still get war talk."  
  
"Sorry my dear," Richard senior patted his wife on the knee. "What do you want to talk about?"  
  
"The wedding of course." Her eyes lit up, and he shook his head.  
  
"You can't possibly imagine how excited she is about this wedding." Richard senior said. "When she and Margaret get together..and now add Eliza in, and god help us."  
  
"Do you know," Richard said, smiling at his fiancée. "I had her convinced I was going to wear a purple shirt to the wedding, and she was horrified."  
  
"You were terrible." Margaret said, glaring at him for a brief moment before smiling again. "And then he told me he was going to be wearing a pink tie if he wasn't allowed a purple shirt."  
  
"He gets that from his father." Elizabeth confided. "Both the teasing, and the bad dress sense."  
  
Everyone laughed, and under the table Eliza felt Edward's hand rest briefly on hers. She squeezed it and smiled. The Monksfield's had well and truly accepted Margaret and her family. Margaret was going to be part of society, and she was going to have a husband who loved her greatly. It was all Eliza had ever wanted for her and she couldn't have been happier. She couldn't wait for the trip up to the country estate and the wedding itself. Of course, it would all be complete once Ben found himself a wife, but Eliza was sure that wouldn't take long- a handsome lawyer was too much to pass up, but she hoped that whoever Ben chose was like Richard and his family.  
  
*****  
  
"Isn't that a bit snobby?" Edward asked later that night when they were back in their hotel room. "I mean, it almost sounds as if you approve of the Monksfields because they have a lot of money."  
  
"No, that's not it at all." Eliza hastened to assure him. "Remember Edward there have been times in my life when I've known what it's like to have no money at all. I wouldn't ever judge anyone on the size of their bank account. What I meant was a family like the Monksfields in the sense that they accept Margaret completely, and they're also very nice people." She leant against him on the couch and he put his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"They are nice aren't they?" Edward said. "And isn't Margaret going to love being a Lady?"  
  
"Oh my gosh yes," Eliza laughed. "Can't you see it now? We'll get letters home signed from Lady Margaret."  
  
"With her personal crest stamped on top?" Edward added.  
  
"Well we have the Gracie crest stamped on our things." Eliza teased him.  
  
"That's purely for business purposes." Edward said. "Listen Eliza, I was thinking during dinner when the Monksfield's were talking about some of the places they've been. What do you think about travelling? I mean I'm going to retire in a few years time when I'm sixtyish, and wouldn't it be nice to spend some time travelling and enjoying ourselves?"  
  
"That would be nice." Eliza agreed. "But we've got a few years to think about it."  
  
"What you mean is don't disturb you- you're thinking wedding things?" Edward teased. "I pity the poor girl who marries Ben."  
  
Eliza hit him. "Do you think Ben's going to get married soon?" She asked. "I mean, he's just turned 24!"  
  
"I'm sure he will some day- I think building his career is a bit more important to him at the moment though." Edward said. "Remember what you said to me- people get married a bit later now?"  
  
"True." Eliza said. "But I'd like to see him married before we go off travelling anywhere."  
  
"Most likely we will, it won't be for another four or five years before we actually do it, if we do." Edward said.  
  
"Isn't this all great?" Eliza said sleepily. "Richard is great, and Margaret loves him so much and they're great together. And the Monksfields are great too. They treated us like equals."  
  
"We are equals. Truth be told we've got just as much money as they do." Edward said. "In fact, from now on I think I'll be Lord Gracie, and you can be my lovely wife, Lady Gracie."  
  
"Idiot." Eliza said with affection. She sighed and closed her eyes. When she was a young girl growing up in a poor family she'd never dreamt she'd have the things she had now, in fact they hadn't even entered her mind. All she'd ever wanted was a husband and children and to be happy, the simple things in life. And thank god those simple things, even with the frills she'd not added on in her childhood dreams, were coming true. 


	61. 61

[A/N. As I said in my last chapter (the one which I replaced the authors notes with) there aren't going to be many updates since I got home and am still recovering. Unlike the last chapter this one isn't going to be too long because I am pretty sore today after pysio and all.]  
  
London, April 1958.  
  
Eliza sighed as she folded up one of her skirts and placed it into the suitcase. The last few days had been the busiest she'd had in a long time. Not only did Margaret want her help with small details- such as flowers, she also needed her help with her dress, and the one's she had chosen for her bridesmaids. Whilst Eliza and Margaret ran around the city Edward and Richard sat around talking business.  
  
Edward came into the hotel room then. "Packing going all right?" He asked.  
  
"Fine thanks." Eliza replied. "I wish sometimes I was like you though and didn't have to have so much clothes to pack."  
  
"You don't HAVE to have them." Edward said with a grin.  
  
"I do so!" Eliza argued, but she was smiling too. She folded another dress and then stopped and sat on the bed. "I have to keep up with the Jones' don't I?"  
  
"You mean the Monksfields." Edward joked and Eliza laughed.  
  
"Okay, okay, we don't need to talk about that- you know how I feel about them now. I was wrong, you were right." Eliza said. "Did you get the telegram you went downstairs for?"  
  
"Yes, it's from Ben. He said to congratulate Margaret and apoligise for him once again, but that's not the main reason he sent it." Edward said slowly.  
  
Eliza looked up sharply. "Is he all right? He's not sick is he?"  
  
"No, he's not sick." Edward assured her. "Perfectly well."  
  
"Well what is it then? Has he met someone? Is he getting married?" Eliza asked, her face lighting up.  
  
"No, nothing like that. He's been given a promotion at work already." Edward said beaming with pride.  
  
"Already?" Eliza repeated. "I knew he was smart, but I didn't know he was that smart."  
  
"Apparently, at 24, he's the youngest person to have ever been given the promotion he's been given." Edward continued.  
  
"Pity he hasn't met someone as well." Eliza said, getting up to continue her packing.  
  
"You know you wouldn't say that if Margaret wasn't getting married." Edward said.  
  
"I would too say it." Eliza argued.  
  
"And then I'd have to tell you, like I've heard you tell certain people, it's the 1950's not the 1920's, where you're not an old maid if you're not married off as soon as possible. Besides, when you think about it Ben's doing this the sensible way. By the time he chooses to get married he'll have a good job, a good income, and they will have security." Edward argued back.  
  
Eliza had to laugh again, it was strange how Edward always made her laugh even after all the time they had been together. And he knew her better than she would ever have imagined anyone knew her. "Okay, okay." She said holding her hands up. "I like to say things when they suit me. Sometimes I look at the people outside, and even those who are conservative, look so different to how things used to be, and then I think how time flies, and how we're getting nice and old-"  
  
"Old?" Edward snorted. "We're not old. Could an old woman have run around London non stop for three days?"  
  
"True." Eliza said, and she closed the suitcase with a sigh of relief. "I wonder what their place is like in the country."  
  
"Probably a similar size to ours, and they'll probably have the same amount of servants as us." Edward suggested.  
  
"It's going to be fun isn't it?" Eliza asked happily. "Not only being in the English countryside, which is gorgeous on it's own, but Margaret's wedding and all."  
  
"It will be fun." Edward agreed. "That is if we can fit your clothing into the taxi and then into the train."  
  
Eliza made a face at him. Whilst Margaret and Richard had offered for the two of them to drive up to the estate with them the night before Eliza and Edward had decided to take the train instead. It would be a far more leisurely trip, and the two of them hadn't spent much time alone since they had arrived in England. 


	62. 62

[A/N. Still sore, and should be working on a take home exam for uni (poo postrgrad courses, why do I do it?), but clearly I am not! Also I know I normally take the time pretty fast in this story, but I was enjoying what I was writing, so that's why this is longer, but I promise it won't last forever. And then time will go as fast as it had been going previously.]  
  
Yorkshire, England, April 1958.  
  
"Hey Mama, how was your trip? It would have been a lot easier driving up with Richard and I last night you know." Margaret said as she and Richard met Eliza and Edward at the small train station which served the small town.  
  
"But we wouldn't have been able to see anything of the lovely countryside in the dark." Eliza explained.  
  
"But Mama it would have all looked the same once you got out of London. What a boring way to spend all those hours." Margaret said shaking her head.  
  
"I don't know." Eliza argued. "I was delighted to see a castle- although it was in the distance. I'd like to live in a castle. I remember when you were little you were obsessed with them when we went out to the country."  
  
"I doubt it." Margaret said haughtily as the train left the station and they were the only four people standing on the platform.  
  
"Well don't doubt it, it's true." Eliza said. "Edward, remember what she was like about castles?"  
  
"Definitely. And her big thing was if the German's dared hit a castle and ruin it she was sending Ben over to Germany to get them." Edward related.  
  
Richard laughed as they walked out into the road where the car was parked. "Send Ben over? How noble of you Margaret." He teased and she hit him.  
  
"Well he wanted to go, so I didn't think there was anything wrong with it." She admitted. They got into the car and drove towards Richard's family home.  
  
"If you want Mama, we can go into York tomorrow and have a look around, it's only about an hour's drive and it's lovely. It's got a gorgeous cathedral." Margaret offered.  
  
"We'll see." Eliza replied.  
  
Richard told them a bit about his family home. "It's been in the family since 1717 which is when it was built. There was a house there before that, but there was a fire and it was destroyed and then the new one was built. It's basically got the main wing in front of the driveway, and there are wings on either side of that jutting forwards so there's sort of a semi courtyard. It's got it's own pool, it's own tennis court, and it's own stables. It's really quite nice, but it's a bit big when you think that there's only a few of us in the family, but it's not the done thing to give up your country estate because it's too big. And Mama loves it up here because she prefers the peace and quiet of the country to the hustle and bustle of the city. And she's a big horse nut." He explained as they drove along small country lanes.  
  
"Sounds lovely." Eliza said. "We live sort of in the country, but it's only a fifteen minute drive into the city. I've always thought it would be lovely to live out in the real country."  
  
"Sure, but I think it can get boring sometimes." Richard agreed.  
  
"Boring wouldn't bother me, especially not if it was equated to quiet." Eliza said. "And it's better for us oldies."  
  
"Mama, you're not old." Margaret protested. "And you better stop saying you are. When we were on our trips around London she kept complaining about being old when she was getting tired Papa."  
  
"Well lucky it wasn't me then since I'm older." Edward replied, and he squeezed Eliza's hand fondly.  
  
"Ah, now when we round this corner you'll see our place come into view. Whenever I've been away for a long period of time, like at school when I was a kid, and even long times at Uni now, I love the view." Richard said.  
  
The car rounded the corner of a large hill and there was the Monksfield estate. Eliza couldn't help but gasp. The house was set in the middle of the lush English countryside, and even from this far away Eliza could tell it was even larger than she had imagined.  
  
"Home sweet home." Richard said, as they turned into the long driveway leading up to the house.  
  
When the car drew up in front of the house Richard jumped out and hurried to open the door for Margaret. Edward followed his lead and opened Eliza's door for her. As they walked up to the front door Eliza's eyes went up to the coat of arms which was carved on top of the doorway. And the door was opened by a butler who smiled at them all. "Mr. Richard, Miss Margaret, and this must be Miss Margaret's parents. Welcome to Monksfield Estate."  
  
"Thank you." Eliza said softly as Edward added his thanks behind her.  
  
"My parents will be waiting in the sitting room, probably with brandies." Richard said, and he and Margaret led the way.  
  
Eliza looked around as she walked through the hallway. It was similar to theirs, but it was filled with artworks and other old, expensive looking knick-knacks. Apart from the size of the entire house it wasn't much different to their one at home, which instantly put her at ease.  
  
When they walked into the sitting room Lady Monksfield hurried to get up. "Did you have a nice trip up? Sit down, please."  
  
Eliza and Edward sat down and Edward and Richard were instantly handed a brandy from a butler, and Eliza and Margaret cups of tea.  
  
"So, how was the trip?" Lady Monksfield asked, sitting down with a cup of tea herself. Edward and both Richard's started talking about politics.  
  
"Good." Eliza replied. "The countryside is so beautiful. I mean it's beautiful at home, but there's something about the English countryside. Until we came over here for business back in the thirties I'd never been here, except overnight in Southampton."  
  
"Southampton?" Lady Monksfield raised an eyebrow.  
  
"We were catching a ship to America from where I was born in Sweden." Eliza explained.  
  
"Sweden? What was it like there?" Lady Monksfield asked.  
  
"I don't remember much." Eliza admitted. "I was only very young when we left, but we wanted to make a new life for ourselves in America."  
  
"A new life?" Lady Monksfield asked. "Why would you want to do that?"  
  
"I.um..I don't know.I was young like I said, so I don't remember the details." Eliza said, beginning to get a bit flustered. She didn't want to tell this elegant, rich, Lady that she'd been dirt poor and offered a chance at life by someone who was rich, and it was only through his charity that she had managed to live and then meet Edward.  
  
"Mama was on the Titanic." Margaret blurted out.  
  
"The Titanic?" Lady Monksfield asked. "My god! How horrific for you."  
  
"Oh I don't know, I don't remember much about it." Eliza said.  
  
"But you were lucky to survive." Lady Monksfield said. "It was lucky you were first class otherwise your chances would have been a lot smaller wouldn't they?"  
  
"Mama-" Margaret began, but Eliza interrupted sure that Margaret was going to tell her about what had happened on the Titanic.  
  
"Listen Margaret I don't really want to talk about it." Eliza said. "It was a pretty terrible thing."  
  
"Oh, of course." Lady Monksfield said. "Tactless of me, even after all these years. Later on I must show you my horses."  
  
"Oh god, did I hear her mention her horses?" Richard called over. "Now you've got mother started on her horses you're never going to hear the end of it."  
  
"I don't mind." Eliza replied, and she didn't. In fact it was a far more welcome topic than the Titanic and what had happened on it. 


	63. 63

[A/N. Again I have to apoligise for taking so long to update but I am right in the middle of exam period, and I've got a winter intensive class after that, so it's going to be a few weeks before I update more regularly again. And on top of that I've still got psyio. *sigh* Anyway, enjoy the story.]  
  
Yorkshire, England, April 1958.  
  
Margaret turned sideways to examine her reflection in the mirror. "Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure all this is true. That I'm really getting married to Richard."  
  
Eliza smiled. "Hold still please, I want to fix that stray hair." She said firmly, and Margaret obliged. When Eliza had finished she stepped back and looked at her daughter. The wedding dress was gorgeous and very traditional, and Margaret looked as though she were literally glowing with happiness.  
  
"Do I pass muster?" Margaret asked and Eliza laughed at the terminology.  
  
"You sure do. Richard's going to be bowled over when he sees you." She replied.  
  
Margaret laughed brightly. "As he should be Mama." She said, and then she hugged Eliza impulsively. "I wish you and Papa weren't going home in a few days. Have you had fun here the last few weeks?"  
  
"Of course I have darling." Eliza said. "We've had a few nice trips to places I never saw even when we were living here. And I've enjoyed meeting the Monksfields and their friends. And of course your friends from Liverpool who are going to be in the wedding procession."  
  
Margaret smiled. "Isn't Penny a hoot?" She asked.  
  
"A hoot?" Eliza replied. "I suppose that's one way of putting it."  
  
"Oh she's a complete ditz of course, but she's so much fun to be around. I'll never forget how much fun we had in France back in '55." Margaret said. "There was this one time when she and I..well actually, I better not tell you about that."  
  
Eliza nodded. "Discretion is the better part of valor." She agreed.  
  
"Mama, I just wanted to tell you that I have to thank you and Papa for how much you've done for me over the years. I know I was a complete brat sometimes- especially when I was bugging you about coming over here. I might have sounded like I was taking things for granted sometimes, but I never was, really." Margaret said.  
  
Eliza felt tears prickling at her eyes but she blinked them back. "I know that darling." She assured her.  
  
There was a knock at the door and then Lady Monksfield came in. "Oh Margaret, you look wonderful. I knew you would when I saw that dress.but still.." She said.  
  
"Thank you." Margaret said, smiling at the woman who was about to become her mother-in-law. Eliza, for her part, was smiling too. Apart from that brief interlude where Lady Monksfield was getting a little too close for comfort to the truth of Eliza's background they had gotten along very well. The fact that Eliza admired the woman's horses helped a great deal.  
  
"We're about ready to start for the church. The boys have gone ahead, except your father of course who is riding with you. And Eliza and I will leave now with the bridal party following." Lady Monksfield explained.  
  
"Right, shall we go downstairs then Mama?" Margaret asked and Eliza nodded. The three of them made their way downstairs, and as Margaret swept down the stairs in her gown Edward looked up and smiled. When she reached his side he took her arm proudly. "You look absolutely gorgeous darling- who would ever have thought?"  
  
Margaret laughed and hit him on the arm. "Thanks Papa. I have to say you don't scrub up too badly in that tux either."  
  
"Eliza?" Lady Monksfield said.  
  
"We'll see you at the church." Eliza said kissing her husband and daughter, and then she and Lady Monksfield went and got into the car that was to take them to the church. As they drove along the country lanes Eliza looked out of the window. If she could have stayed here she would have, but she had to get back to America.  
  
"I've been meaning to ask you," Lady Monksfield said. "Whether you have enjoyed our hospitality and this place?"  
  
"Immensely." Eliza assured her. "It's been wonderful."  
  
"There's also something Margaret mentioned once which has been on my mind a bit. She said something about you growing up poor?" Lady Monksfield asked, looking at Eliza intently.  
  
"Poor?" Eliza repeated, and she felt her heart skip a beat. Why was it that even after all these years she still cared what people, what society, thought of her? "Well I suppose compared to the Gracie's money anyone would be considered poor wouldn't they?"  
  
Lady Monksfield smiled with relief. "That's all right, I suppose Margaret was exaggerating as she is sometimes prone to do. I was just a little concerned what with my son marrying your daughter and all. I was imagining you'd been brought up in a tiny house in a village and traveled to America amongst the steerage filth."  
  
Eliza bit her tongue. Steerage filth! Was that attitude still prevalent now, in the late 1950s? And to think she'd thought Lady Monksfield was a normal, nice woman. The church came into view. It was a small country one, and somewhat quaint but Margaret had fallen in love with it, despite protestations from the Monksfield's that they could get York Cathedral. The car pulled up out the front and Eliza and Lady Monksfield got out. Guests were filing in and they all looked over curiously. Most of them would have known who Lady Monksfield was, and perhaps have gathered that Eliza was Margaret's mother.  
  
"Let's go in and get seated." Lady Monksfield said, and Eliza followed her, still somewhat numb from the conversation in the car. By the time Eliza and the rest of the bridal party arrived they had been sitting there for almost fifteen minutes. Richard was fidgeting nervously near them, with one of his friends from Uni who was a groomsmen teasing him that "Margaret had seen the light." But then the bells of the church rang out and they all hurried to get in their positions. A few moments later the bridesmaids began their walk up the aisle, and then Margaret and Edward made their way up the aisle. Seeing how beautiful her daughter looked and how radiantly happy as well made Eliza cry, but they were tears of happiness rather than anything else. Edward handed over Margaret and then came to sit next to his wife, who took his hand and squeezed it.  
  
The wedding ceremony itself was traditional, as Margaret had explained to Eliza it would be because that was "just a Monksfield thing", and when the two young people spoke their vows their voices rang out firm and clear in the church. When the priest pronounced them man and wife and they kissed Eliza could contain herself no longer, and the tears poured down her cheeks. But she made no move to wipe them away; she wasn't ashamed, she was happy. Everything she had ever wanted for her daughter was happening right then. Edward also had tears in his eyes as he smiled proudly at his daughter. Lady Monksfield leant over. "They're going to make such a perfect couple." She said.  
  
"I hope so." Eliza agreed.  
  
"Margaret was really the perfect choice for a Monksfield. When Richard first introduced us to her I admit I was prepared to be skeptical, with her being American and not British but there was nothing to be skeptic about- she was lovely. And it saved my husband and I the arduous task of having to select a wife for our son and heir." Lady Monksfield added.  
  
*****  
  
"Mama, promise me you'll come back soon." Margaret demanded later that night at the reception. She and Richard were about to leave on their honeymoon.  
  
"We'll come back, but I don't know when." Eliza assured her. "And of course you can always come over to America?"  
  
"We will." Margaret said firmly. "Did you enjoy the ceremony and the reception Mama?"  
  
"I did, it was wonderful." Eliza promised her. "And your father felt the same."  
  
"I felt the same about what?" Edward asked, coming over and hugging his daughter to him. "You look wonderful sweetheart, and during the bridal waltz even I had tears in my eyes."  
  
"He had tears in his eyes during the ceremony too." Eliza added with a smile.  
  
"Give Ben my love, and you two make sure we see each other more." Margaret said, and she glanced over her shoulder. "We have to go now, but it's not goodbye is it? Only so long, or see you later?"  
  
"Right." Edward agreed and he hugged her again before Eliza did the same. And then she took Richard's hand and they ran down the steps to where the car was waiting. Along with the rest of the guests Eliza and Edward clapped and waved as the car drove off.  
  
"Our little girl. I hope she's happy." Eliza said as they turned around and went back inside.  
  
"She will be. Richard's a decent man, and they're in love." Edward assured his wife. 


	64. 64

[A/N. This is a pretty small chapter, but there wasn't a lot that I needed to put in this one which is why it's so small.]  
  
London, England, April 1958.  
  
"Shouldn't we be on our way Edward?" Eliza asked. "You know what they're like about having your luggage put on board a few hours before we depart. Lady Monksfield was telling me about a nice little shop near the docks where we can have tea and scones whilst we wait to board."  
  
After Margaret and Richard had left for their honeymoon Edward and Eliza had basically packed their things and made their way back to London, where they were now. It was only when they were on the train that Eliza told Edward of Lady Monksfield's concerns that her beloved son wasn't marrying into a good family because she had an inkling that Eliza hadn't been born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Eliza told Edward what she'd responded and he smiled slightly. "For what it counts I don't think whether people were born rich or poor makes an ounce of difference about what kind of person they are. I'm tempted to cable them when we get to London and tell them we lost our entire fortune whilst we were away and tell them we're now dirt poor." Edward had responded. Eliza had laughed and instantly felt better.  
  
Now Edward glanced over at his wife. They were sitting in a coffee shop at Victoria Station where Edward had bought a paper to read the business news. "No rush dear." He assured her.  
  
Eliza frowned slightly. That was unlike Edward- he was usually so punctual he was early. She sighed and looked around the bustling station. A bunch of young girls came rushing past, all dressed in pants and shirts and Eliza raised an eyebrow. Even though she knew it was perfectly all right for females to wear slacks now it still seemed wrong to her. And another thing she'd noticed was that not only were women wearing slacks, but they were also wearing skirts which were getting shorter and some barely touched a woman's knee. It was funny, Eliza had to admit, that sometimes she'd act like she was perfectly with the times and tease Edward or whoever for being old-fashioned, but nonetheless she couldn't bring herself to wear a skirt any shorter than halfway down her ankles. Margaret had teased her saying that one day women would be wearing skirts shorter than anyone could imagine, but Eliza had shook her head. There were still some morals about.  
  
Eventually Edward folded up his paper. "We better get going Eliza." He said.  
  
Eliza got up and they gathered up their things, except for the larger luggage which Edward had arranged to be sent on ahead a few days before. "It's going to feel weird getting on that ship and leaving England." Eliza said slowly.  
  
"That's the thing Eliza, we're not going by ship." Edward said.  
  
Eliza's eyes widened. "We're not? How exactly are we getting there then?" She demanded.  
  
"We're flying. Turns out a friend of mine is over here on business and he owns a airplane so we're getting a lift home with him so to speak." Edward explained.  
  
Eliza bit her lip looking apprehensive. "I don't know about that Edward.." She said. "People have died on planes."  
  
"Years ago my dear." Edward replied. "I'll tell you a little secret- Albert Tucker is on the board of Pan American World Airways and they're about to launch a New York to Paris flight soon. Why in a few years time nobody is going to be going anywhere by sea- they're all going to be flying."  
  
Eliza was only slightly mollified by this. "Is it a big plane?" She asked.  
  
"Pretty big yes." Edward said. "It's even got a bedroom so if you're feeling tired or sick you can lie down and have a rest."  
  
"And it will be a lot quicker than going by ship?" Eliza asked, beginning to warm even more to the idea.  
  
"A lot quicker." Edward confirmed. "We'll be in New York before you know it. I bet we could surprise Ben too since he wasn't expecting us for awhile."  
  
"That would be nice." Eliza said. She took a deep breath. "Alright, we'll fly."  
  
Edward smiled. "Thata' girl. You're not going to regret this. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're going to love going on a plane, and think when they start commercial flights how much easier it's going to be to go and see Margaret and Richard. The world is going to be so much closer."  
  
"It's a nice idea." Eliza agreed. "Just nipping over to England instead of it taking so long on a ship."  
  
*****  
  
"See, it's not so bad really is it?" Edward asked a few hours later as they were seated in the plane flying over the ocean.  
  
Eliza glanced out of the window. "Hmmm.." She said.  
  
"Do you know in about twenty years time they say nobody is going to drive anymore? Everyone is going to have planes instead." Edward said. "In fact by 2000 we'll all live up in space and drive planes."  
  
Eliza raised an eyebrow. "Really?"  
  
"Sure." Edward replied. "That's what they're thinking now anyway."  
  
"Strange." Eliza said. "I remember when people began to drive automobiles for heavens sake. We used to all get so excited if we saw one in the street- especially as we couldn't afford one ourselves."  
  
"The times, they are a'changing." Edward replied, and he went back to the papers he was reading.  
  
Eliza sighed and looked out the window again. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of times changing so radically. After all at her age she was pretty set in her ideas. But at the same time you couldn't halt progress, so rather than complaining you had to go with the flow. She glanced at her watch. Ben was going to be so surprised to see them get there early. She wondered whether he had missed them when they were away. 


	65. 65

[A/N. I wont be able to update this too much because next week I'm back at Uni, and I want to get as good marks as I somehow managed to get last semester. But I'm not going to leave the story as it is; I will keep writing it as often as I get the chance. I've also been thinking about the fact that "Titanic" is no longer a part of the story, however I don't agree with that really. Eliza wouldn't be who she is now if she hadn't been through everything she'd been through, so therefore I think "Titanic" is still relevant here.]  
  
New York, April 1958.  
  
"That wasn't too bad was it love?" Edward asked Eliza as they were seated in the backseat of a taxi on their way uptown to Ben's apartment.  
  
"It wasn't." Eliza admitted. "It would sure make visiting Margaret and Richard a lot easier. I wonder how long I'm going to have to wait until I get grandchildren?"  
  
Edward laughed. "They've only just got married!"  
  
"So? Some people don't even wait these days." Eliza said, leaning against her husband's shoulder. He put an arm around her.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be a grandmother eventually." Her husband assured her.  
  
"I just want to make sure I'm a grandmother before I'm too old to enjoy it. I never had a grandmother, but I seem to remember some of my childhood friends did, and the majority of them were old before their time. I want to be able to take my grandchildren to the zoo or something, to have fun with them." Eliza explained. And then she frowned slightly- where she grew up people were grandparents very early on in the picture, but they also died a lot earlier as they couldn't afford doctors and medicine like the rich could. Sometimes, even now when she'd been part of this world for so long, Eliza thought about her old life, and what would have happened had Cal not saved her from the sinking ship. Further more, what would have happened had he not taken her in, albeit as an act of charity and blackmail?  
  
"It's a pity you never got to meet my grandmother, Father's mother. She was amazing. All that she went through never made her pessimistic or bitter, and I remember the day she turned up at our place wearing slacks and Mother nearly had a heart attack." Edward said, with a laugh.  
  
"I could imagine only too well." Eliza replied with a smile. Sometimes she wished she'd tried harder with the formidable Mrs. Gracie, but deep down she knew that no matter how hard she tried Mrs. Gracie would have found something wrong with her.  
  
Husband and wife traveled in companionable silence for awhile as people who have been married for twenty-five years tend to do.  
  
"Do you think Ben's planning on getting married?" Eliza asked. The subject had come up, and been dismissed, on a number of occasions, and whilst the last thing Eliza wanted was to be a nagging mother, she did want to see her son happy.  
  
"I'm sure he will eventually, once he meets that special person." Edward said, not looking as though he was sick of the topic. He knew that Eliza had been worried about Ben for the last few months, although she was unable to voice her exact concerns, and he was used to reassuring her about most things, including this.  
  
The taxi arrived at their destination and Edward helped Eliza out. Their luggage had been sent on to the hotel where they were going to spend the night before making the trip back to Philadelphia the next day.  
  
Edward stretched as they waited for the lift. "I'm getting old you know." He said.  
  
"I know.you're going to be in a wheelchair soon." Eliza teased her eyes sparkling and he shook his head at her.  
  
"You're not that much younger sweetie." He reminded her. "No, I was thinking it might be about time I really gave retiring more thought. I know I was planning on working a bit longer, but I'm almost sixty and I'd like to retire before I was too old to enjoy my retirement."  
  
"Did you mean that, what you said in England, about going away for awhile?" Eliza asked as they got into the lift.  
  
"I did..I've always wanted to go to Australia, and South Africa and a few other places." Edward said. "What do you think?"  
  
"It'd be nice." Eliza said slowly. She did think it would be nice but she didn't want to leave Ben until he was married and happy.  
  
The lift stopped and they got out on Ben's floor. The apartment building was very nice, with freshly painted walls, carpeted floors, and potplants. Ben's apartment was at the very end of the corridor, and Eliza knocked on the door. It took a moment before Ben opened the door, and when he did he was dressed in a pair of slacks only. His eyes widened in shock when he saw his parents there.  
  
"Mother! Father!" He said loudly. "What are you two doing here?"  
  
"Don't sound so happy to see us." Eliza grumbled.  
  
Ben laughed, although it sounded forced to Eliza, and assured them he was always happy to see them, but he was surprised.  
  
"We caught a plane back." Edward explained. "A friend of mine's."  
  
"Really? You got on a plane mother?" Ben asked impressed. "I wouldn't have thought you'd do something like that."  
  
"Aren't you going to invite us in for gods sake?" Edward asked impatiently. Ben was still leaning against the door as he spoke to them, and Eliza and Edward were waiting outside.  
  
"Oh. Right. Of course, come on in Mother and Father!" Ben said, again sounding a bit louder.  
  
Eliza smiled as she looked around the apartment, noting gladly that it was still very neat. Obviously her son was very houseproud. From the kitchen came the noise of someone making something and Eliza raised an eyebrow. Did her son have a woman over? Was that why he'd answered the door only partially dressed and been reluctant to let them inside? Ben noticed his mother looking towards the kitchen.  
  
"Cup of tea Mother?" He asked.  
  
"Yes, thank you darling, that would be lovely." Eliza replied, and Edward agreed that he'd also like one. Ben went into the kitchen and Eliza and Edward sat down.  
  
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Eliza whispered to her husband.  
  
"That our Ben's got a woman out there?" Edward whispered back.  
  
Eliza nodded happily. Maybe Ben had met his Mrs. Right?  
  
A few moments later Ben came back out of the kitchen, and with him came someone else. Another young man, about the same age as Ben, but as fair as Ben was dark. Ben handed Eliza and Edward their cups of tea, and then gestured to his friend. "Mother, Father, this is my good friend Michael." He said.  
  
Eliza was unable to speak, and she looked helplessly at her husband, who smiled and said it was nice to meet him. Eliza took a big sip of her tea, and it almost burned her tongue, but she didn't care. What was going on here? Was Michael Ben's "woman"?  
  
"So, Michael, how do you and Ben know each other?" Edward asked curiously.  
  
"We work in the same building. I'm on the fifth floor in an accounting firm, and Ben's on the eighth floor in the law firm." Michael explained.  
  
Ben wasn't speaking; he was just looking at his mother thoughtfully. She managed to smile at him. "You should have seen Margaret's wedding, darling. It was wonderful." Eliza said.  
  
"I'm sure it was.I bet Margaret looked gorgeous." Ben said with a smile back.  
  
Small talk continued until the tea was drank and then Eliza claimed to have a headache so she and Edward left to go back to the hotel. She kissed Ben goodbye on the cheek and it wasn't until she and Edward were in the lift that she voiced her concerns: "What on earth was going on there?" She demanded.  
  
Edward bit his lip. "I don't know for sure Eliza." He said.  
  
"God I hope it's not what it looks like." Eliza said worried.  
  
"I'm sure they're just friends like Ben said." Edward assured his wife, but his assurance did nothing. The two of them left the apartment complex wondering what was happening between Ben and his "good friend"? 


	66. Authors note

Authors note: I am _so sorry_ that I haven't updated this story in such a long time, but in all honesty I just haven't had the chance. I've been working on four essays for uni (the last of which is thankfully due next week) and in my spare time I've been working on my original fiction which has become something of an obsession with me. However, I have two weeks off Uni soon and I'm planning on getting back on with some of the stories I've been writing on here, including this one. Again, sorry.

Aims


	67. 66

[A/N. I am sorry it took me so long to update but I've been pretty much flat out with Uni work. That's my own fault though because nobody forced me to go back and do postgraduate study! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this even though it's been so long coming. Also in response to the reviewer about the Rosenbergs the transcripts Ben had read were the trial transcripts which claimed the Rosenbergs were guilty (of course, otherwise how could they have been found guilty) and at the time the newspapers were more than happy to stir up patriotic feelings regarding the Rosenbergs and them being traitors. Whether or not they were, well that's another story. Just to remind you, and remind me since it's been so long since I've written any of this story; in 1960 Eliza would be 54 (almost 55), Ben would be 26, Margaret would be 24, and Edward around 61.]

New York, March 1960.

Eliza sighed as she let herself into the apartment that she and Edward had bought so that they could spend some time in New York as well as in Philadelphia. Edward was in the process of retiring, but there was so much to make sure was taken care of before he left the firm completely, as Ben wanted nothing to do with it and Margaret couldn't care less. Come summer though, she and Edward were off on their overseas trip leaving both the business and Ben behind. It was all right for Margaret, she was married and expecting her first child over the summer, but Ben hadn't married yet, and Eliza was beginning to wonder whether there was a particular reason why he hadn't. Whenever she brought it up with Edward though he told her to let it be. "Ben just doesn't want to get married until he's established himself. It's a perfectly sensible idea Eliza." He kept telling her, but nonetheless Eliza still wondered. After that day almost two years ago when they'd surprised Ben at home with his friend Michael she'd yet to see Ben in the company of a young lady. 

The telephone was ringing and Eliza hurried to get it. "Hello?"

"Mama, it's me!" Margaret called down the line. Eliza smiled at her daughter's enthusiastic tone; even though she was a wife and soon to be a mother, she still acted like a teenager sometimes.

"Hello Margaret, what's news?" Eliza asked, gratefully sitting down on the chair near the telephone. She'd been out to lunch with friends and then shopping and now she was exhausted and glad to take the weight off her feet.

"Not much. I got my hair cut short in one of those- what do they call it, a bouffant hairstyle, and it looks great. Richard's mother had a stroke but she's going to be all right. She's pretty much like Grandmother Gracie- nothing could stop her. We're looking forward to seeing you and Papa in July." Margaret said, all in one breath making her mother shake her head slightly. "And how's Ben? We don't hear from him very much. He must be very busy."

"He is, he's got a lot on his plate being the youngest junior partner in the firm…" Eliza trailed off. Other than Ben's work there wasn't much to tell about her son. Even when she and Edward were in New York, like now, they didn't see much of him. 

"Is he planning on getting married soon? If he leaves it too long it will be too late." Margaret said. 

"Ben doesn't want to get married until he's established himself, pretty sensible idea really." Eliza replied, unconsciously parroting her husband's words. 

"Well he better hurry- a wedding would be the perfect excuse for us to come over for a holiday. I'd like my child to see America as well as England, maybe even Australia…" Margaret mused. 

"Listen sweetie, I hate to cut you off but your father's having a dinner tonight I must get ready for. I think it's one of those farewell things." Eliza said. It was true that Edward was having a dinner tonight, but she wouldn't need much time to get changed, however she didn't want to keep talking about the uncomfortable topic of her son. What would she do if he never married? What would happen if she was right, and he liked men more than women? She tried never to let herself think about it, but sometimes the thoughts crept back, like now. 

"I wonder how Papa's going to cope with retirement, not having to go to the office every day. He's going to be bored stiff you know." Margaret replied. 

"Well he'll have to find a hobby to keep him busy." Eliza replied with a slight laugh. She knew Margaret was right- Edward was going to be wandering around like a bear with a sore head when he was fully retired. "Anyway, I'll speak to you soon okay darling?"

"Okay Mama, have fun at the dinner, and say hello to Papa from Richard and I." Margaret replied, and she hung up. Eliza sat where she was for the moment before getting up to put away some of the things that she'd bought. She glanced at a photo sitting on her dresser, it was a family portrait taken when Ben was perhaps fourteen and Margaret twelve. They were all dressed in their best, and Eliza was wearing a set of pearls Edward had given her for no reason. As she got older she reminisced even more about what life had handed her. It had never been entirely easy, but Cal Hockley had saved her life, of that she was sure. Without him, and later without the money he left her in his will, she wouldn't have survived through the depression, and met Edward. She'd never have been able to have two wonderful children and experience so many things she would never have imagined even in her wildest dreams when she was a child living in a tiny, cold, dark house. In fact, even after what had happened, she believed that Titanic _was_ "The Ship of Dreams" as many had called her. Thinking about Titanic made her think about Rose. Over the years the letters had dwindled and now it was usually a card for Christmas with writing scrawled inside about what they were doing now. As far as Eliza knew now Rose was in L.A working in the movies. 

"Eliza, sweetie?" Edward's voice broke into her reverie and Eliza realised that it was dark, and her husband had turned on the light. "Are you all right?"

"I lost track of time." Eliza said, shaking her head and standing up. "I think perhaps I'm going senile."

"I doubt it." Edward said, and he straightened his tie. "Don't you think you better get ready though?"

"The dinner! I forgot!" Eliza exclaimed and she hurried to the wardrobe to find a dress.

Edward watched her smiling slightly. "Maybe you are going senile." He joked. "Anyway, Ben dropped in to see me today. He was wondering whether we could go over for dinner next weekend. There's something he wants to tell us."

Eliza stopped what she was doing and stared at her husband in horror. "Something he wants to tell us?" She repeated.

"That's what he said." Edward replied dryly. "And don't look like that Eliza- I'm sure it's no big deal."

Eliza started to change, but her mind was on what her son had to tell them. "It could be a big deal. I mean if our son were….well…you know…" She said.

"Would it matter if he was?" Edward asked, eyeing his wife carefully. "Would you love him any less?"

"Of course not." Eliza protested angrily. "I'd never love him any less than I do, no matter what he does…but society isn't so forgiving. I mean I know people are beginning to accept more and more as time goes on, but they don't usually accept people like that. And society can be cruel, especially when it's someone who, like Ben, has been in the public eye a bit because of being a Gracie."

"We don't even know what he wants to tell us yet." Edward said, as Eliza finished changing and checked her make up in the mirror. "You could be making mountains out of molehills." 

Eliza didn't reply, just grabbed her bag and followed her husband from the room. She sincerely hoped he was right, but if he wasn't then she'd have to deal with it wouldn't she?


End file.
